Some people are emotionally stronger than others. They can take a lot of stress and strain without falling apart, while others collapse into a whimpering heap at the smallest things.

The main difference between an emotionally weak person and an emotionally strong person is what they think when things go wrong. When troubles come along, the weak one is in the habit of thinking: “This is more than I can stand.” A tough one thinks: “I can handle this.”

It doesn’t matter what specific words a person puts to the two different kinds of thinking. But the thoughts that make people weak are feeble and impotent: “I can’t take it, it’s too overwhelming, it’s too much to bear, I can’t stand it, I’m not up to this, I’m not emotionally ready for this,” etc.

The thoughts that make you strong are capable and resolute: “I can take it, everything is going to work out, I’ll get through it, maybe there’s a lesson in it for me, adversity builds character, I’m tough, people have been through worse, if I try I can find an advantage in all this, when this is over I’ll be wiser,” etc.

To become stronger, change your thoughts. It’s as simple and uncomplicated as that. There’s nothing to it but to do it. Start saying something different to yourself during tough times. When you feel stress, coach yourself, “Come on,[your name here], you can handle this. When this is over, you might even be a stronger person because of it.” Think strong thoughts and you will be tougher, braver, and more resilient. Just like that.

The stronger thoughts are truer than the weak thoughts. You can take it. Human beings, including you, can withstand a tremendous amount of strain without cracking, as any cursory perusal of war stories, survival accounts, and reports of disasters demonstrate.

These kinds of thoughts won’t be habitual at first, of course. The way you think is as much a habit as the way you tie your shoes. But keep deliberately thinking stronger, and after awhile it will become habitual. Eventually, you’ll wonder how you ever thought differently.

Would you like to be stronger? Would you like to have more emotional calm during the stressful times? Would you like to stand as a pillar of strength when those about you are crumbling? Sure you would. This is the way. Change your thoughts. Make them stronger.

Don’t think you can do it? That’s the first thought to change.

Most men in are in a subculture best described as emotionally retarded. No one teaches you the intricacies of getting over a breakup. “Walk it off and move on”, is the extent of relationship advice most men understand.

The following tips offer a logical, very male point of view to cope with a breakup.

Constructive Not Destructive Behavior

When someone tells you to be a man, they may imply “have a few beers”. It’ll ease your heart ache for one night, but has no beneficial impact on your life.

Engaging in destructive behavior is a fools errand. Over spending, getting drunk, hooking up with the first girl you meet offers only short term relief without offering a long term solution.

Turning to alcohol can also directly tarnish your image. Getting drunk only clouds your judgment enough to make unwise decisions. Have you ever called an ex girlfriend while you were drunk? It’s not pretty.

Focus your immediate energy on building your confidence. Engage activities where you excel and dominate. Get back to feeling in control and return to the status of alpha male.

Regaining confidence is vital to getting over a breakup.

Advice For Men If you Want Your Girlfriend Back

The pain of a breakup is difficult to mask especially for men. Confronting emotion is not second nature for most, so at a moment of weakness you may feel the urge to confess your true, inner most thoughts.

There’s nothing wrong with being emotional, just don’t show it to the girl who just dumped you. You want to maintain your dignity and confidence. Portray yourself as a worthy candidate for her affection.

Women want security, comfort and, to a lesser degree, protection. Groveling, begging, and crying on her shoulder will only gain her pity, not her love.

If you’ve recently separated and are having trouble getting over a breakup, the relationship guide for men by T.W. Jackson offers valuable insight. You’ll learn what you should and should not do after a breakup.

Videos, articles, and additional resources are also available at the Magic Of Making Up