my happy blog

I saw a look of resignation on my friend’s face as she said, “I don’t think I’m cut out to be a step mother.” There was a combination of sadness, frustration and resignation. She’d been married to her new husband for almost two years. The struggles started before their marriage, as it usually does when two people, with children from previous marriages decide to “blend families.” After all this time she saw no end in sight.

My friend has two daughters from her previous marriage. Her new husband has two daughters from his previous marriage…and a former wife who appeared to be determined to make things difficult. My friend has a former husband who lives out of state with his new family.

The four girls were all close in age and could possibly have been friends if they met at school, weren’t step siblings and didn’t have parents pulling at them.

Often, we the parents just need to get out of the way. Blended family issues can be resolved sooner and without causing added pain to the children if we allow space and time to work things out. I know from my own first hand meddling. I’ve detailed in my book, “You Used To Live In My House.”

My kids…back when they were kids, when my wife Louisa and I were newlyweds, didn’t need a new mom. Their mother was alive and well. Louisa didn’t want to be their mom. She knew her role and would have been happy to be a step mother. We all moved from Virginia to Colorado together so I thought she should be their new mom. All this while my kids really hadn’t given up hope that their mother and I might some how reconcile. We’d been apart for four years by then and each of the adults knew that wasn’t going to happen.

While I was living in Colorado my kids return to Virginia and to their mother,

I didn’t know what she was saying to them, about me. I didn’t learn that until three years later when they moved to Colorado. By then new roles weren’t so new and were accepted pretty easily. All the while, I knew that Louisa never criticized her sons’ father, even though he’d been virtually absent from their lives for several years.

Eleven years later Louisa received a Happy Step Mom Day card from Kelly on Mother’s Day. All of the ‘kids’ openly express their love for each of us these days, and have for some time. They all get along well with each other.

I can speak for myself and I believe it applies to many step parents, we are so determined that everyone will get a long and like each other immediately, that we make things more difficult than they need to be. Affection and assimilation cannot be forced upon our children. They have to find their own way and all we have to do is get out of the way.

Kids are resilient. I’ll over simplify it with an example of how they overcome the tales of an Easter Bunny and Santa Claus at very impressionable ages. If and when they see the new step parents showing affection and compromise it will be easier for them to move forward with their own feelings.

A friend of ours, Donna Lopez, provided the following testimonial to my book:

“After reading the book, “You Used To Live In My House” I began to think differently of blended families. I realized that it took much more love and faith and work that I ever imagined to sustain one household. I began to appreciate all those families around me that I once took for granted. This book allows us to see this family with such truth and pain and laughter! A recommended read!”

Obviously that’s flattering and I appreciate Donna’s comments. Her comments remain timely.

Don’t look now, but there are increasing numbers of blended families on the horizon. As more couples split and often after a child or two, the newly freed up mom or dad hooks up with that new ‘soul mate.’ Bingo, there’s a new family and the new spouse may even have children of their own from a previous relationship.

How do I know? I’m reminded of a question I was asked when I spoke to a Rotary Club not long ago. “What prepared you to write your book?” My answer: “I lived it.”

Back in the day, circa 1981, I met Louisa H. Harrison. She’s been Louisa H. Coons since June 18, 1983 and on that day, my three children and her two children, blended into this new family. Oh, by the way…on the fateful day, they were ages 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.

We’re all the better for it now. And if you read through what I call ‘Tales of the dark side’ (AKA “You Used To Live In My House”) you’ll eventually get to the happiness we enjoy today. Being in a blended family doesn’t have to make any or all of the participants crazy. I’ve only scratched the surface of how I, and sometimes we, went about it the wrong way. If you get to know us we should give you hope.

R. Perry Coons
http://www.youusedtoliveinmyhouse.com

R. Perry Coons has thrown the door wide open with his narrative of the first 25 years of his relationship journey with his wife and family. He says, “If you get to know us, we should give you hope.”

His background is varied, as witnessed by the many personal and professional experiences he shares with his readers…husband, father, grandfather, runner and former radio dj, award winning shopping center marketing director, special events coordinator, entertainment manager, Realtor and self-described coffee achiever. He holds a copyright on a manuscript titled “Surrel Estate” and is working on a novel about a radio dj in the late 60′s. His working title is “Record Player.” Perry lives in Denver, Colorado with his wife Lousia and their Australian Cattle Dog.

Star tattoos are excellent choices for getting inked. There are various options you have for star tattoos. Here are 3 excellent star tattoo ideas.

1. Nautical star.

The nautical star tattoo has a rich tattoo history. Starting with navy men who got this design inked as a symbol for strength, guidance and finding ones way home from safely from battle, the nautical star has continued to be popular throughout the years. Punks, military, mixed martial arts fighters and many other groups have chosen the nautical star as their favorite choice of ink.

2. Modern star.

There are many modern star tattoo ideas that you definitely want to look into if you are looking at star designs. Some of these can really pop out, while other modern designs are great for background or accompanying other designs. While the nautical star is more classic, the modern star is more of a current style with many variations. Online tattoo galleries will have excellent examples of modern star designs.

3. Multiple stars.

Star tattoo ideas do not have to be limited to just one star. Matter of fact many feel that getting multiple stars is the way to go. There are very few tattoos that you can get away with having duplicated within the same tattoo space as you can with stars. Multiple stars can stand on their own, or they can accompany a different image. Some people make sure to leave space for additional star tats to be added in the future. Sometimes each star will represent a person, a situation, or a life changing experience in a persons life.

Want to see the best modern and classic Star Tattoo’s? Definitely check out this online gallery – http://top-tattoo-designs.blogspot.com/

You’ll find hundreds of the best, most high quality tattoos available, which can be printed out and taken to your local tattoo parlor to get inked – http://top-tattoo-designs.blogspot.com/

With the internet making it easier than ever to source artworks, it’s relatively simple these days to build up a great-looking collection.

While prices for unique works are increasingly beyond the reach of many, limited editions of, say, 150 plus are financially and widely accessible, making it possible to acquire pieces by major artists for reasonable prices.

There can be a downside, however. While little beats the pleasure a signed work can bring, generally speaking, the larger an edition, the less likely it is to appreciate in value quickly – or even substantially.

Nevertheless, the contemporary art market is full of contradictions, and with growing demand at all levels, recent trends have often seen this assumption overturned.

As an obvious example, Damien Hirst’s early prints for Eyestorm consistently fetch $10000-$16000 at re-sale, a very substantial profit on their original price. More recently, prints by Banksy and other urban artists have proved equally lucrative.

In other words, it’s becoming increasingly possible – although by no means a certainty – to make profits quickly with relatively little outlay; although the trick, as always, is knowing what to buy and when to sell.

Buying for fast profit

The art world has a curious attitude to speculation. Buying and selling purely for profit is still regarded as just a little unsavory, even though the entire art market is dedicated to this pursuit. Perhaps it’s because art has such a curiously dual nature, combining aesthetic and cultural worth with a commercial value that can reach very high sums indeed.

Whatever the case, it would be difficult to consistently make money from art without some genuine appreciation and an insight into what will stand the test of time. And many dealers are themselves collectors, at least partly funding their own acquisitions through trading.

Yet it’s certainly true that, with contemporary art consistently showing remarkable returns on investment, it’s also become an attractive proposition to a very wide range of buyers.

In general, non-specialist speculators often trade in the work of artists whose frequent media coverage makes them well known to the public. And as shown by the two examples mentioned above – Hirst and Banksy – this can certainly reap substantial rewards.

But it’s also important to remember that, in an increasingly novelty-driven world, the next big thing is usually just around the corner. ‘Celebrity’ artists often take on the nature of a trend, and fads can become outdated with dramatic speed. Knowing when to sell such work is vitally important.

Ups and downs in the market aren’t just related to artists with familiar public profiles, of course. The art world itself frequently generates its own, ‘flavor of the month’ buzz. A few years ago, Martin Kippenberger’s prices rose dramatically, then leveled just as quickly. Chinese and now Indian contemporary art have been subject to the same kind of intensely fashion-led markets.

Clearly, money can be made through quickly identifying and speculating on trends, but you’ll need to have your finger firmly on the pulse. Knowing what’s considered exciting is essential, but you’ll also have to determine how long this excitement is actually going to last.

Long-term investment – knowing your artists

When it comes to collecting art, you’ll often read the following: the safest way to build a collection is simply to buy work you really like.

Such advice seems tailor-made to shield less knowledgeable collectors from potential disappointment, and perhaps even encourage sales of less desirable work. Buy a piece you love and if the value falls no harm has been done. If it gains in price, that’s a bonus.

I prefer to look at buying art a little differently.

Of course it’s important to purchase work you want to own and view.

But since contemporary art presents real investment opportunities, it makes sense to think carefully about what to add to your collection. After all, look at almost any online art site, and you’ll see that prices for fairly standard pieces are often equivalent to what you’d pay for work with far greater investment potential.

Although there’s obviously no way of predicting future value for sure, the key is to familiarize yourself as much as possible with the background of artists you’re drawn to.

How long have they been practicing? Is there a theme or thought process behind their work? Has this evolved coherently over the years?

Artists with at least some degree of complexity and persistent ‘vision’ are generally more likely to gain steadily in appreciation and price.

You’ll also want to know if the artist has achieved some kind of recognition. Is their work held by collections, galleries or museums? Has it been exhibited consistently?

Professional opinion is yet another important factor in trying to determine an artist’s long-term prospects. If a large number of critics and academics coincide in their high opinion of an artist, this is another good sign that they will retain or even gain value.

Mid-career artists can be judged much more easily in relation to their existing work; and after all, good art isn’t just about something that happens to look nice on a wall.

It’s about a certain kind of commitment and an obvious path of development. If all these factors are present, buying probably makes sense. Limited editions by Jeff Koons, for example, were relatively inexpensive 5 or 6 years ago, but with recent record-breaking prices for major works, have also shot up in value.

Even artists who disappear temporarily from the art market radar are much more likely to re-emerge at a later point if they show the ‘right’ kind of commitment and passion.

Emerging artists and the schlock of the new

New young artists are often fizzing with ideas, many of which can seem ground-breaking or even radical, but the problem is that they have yet to prove their long-term worth.

This said, you can certainly gain an insight into potential by applying the criteria above. It’s especially important to determine if they have something genuine to express or are simply employing methods that could, over time, increasingly be seen as just a gimmick.

Of course, if you’re looking to make a high return on investment, rapidly emerging artists can prove highly lucrative.

In such cases, it’s probably a good idea to invest in as substantial a piece as possible, although as we’ve seen, editions and multiples can also prove money-earners.

But keep a close eye on auction prices and signs of market fatigue. Such artists might be the talk of the town right now, but will they fulfill their early promise?

If, after a few years, their work appears stuck in a rut and prices seem to be leveling or even dropping, it’s time to think twice about their long-term appeal. On the other hand, if they do continue to create great work, any pieces bought for relatively low sums at the start of their careers should steadily rise in value.

Spreading your bets

If you’re lucky enough to have substantial sums of money to spend on art, newer artists, as we’ve just seen, can produce significant return on investment.

But perhaps the best way to offset the risks that they may never fulfill expectation is to ‘spread your bets’ across a selection of up and coming names.

Buying the work of several different artists might mean settling for less significant works, but with the right kind of knowledge – and luck – hitting a jackpot is still potentially viable.

If you’ve done your research, the chances are fairly good that at least one – and hopefully more – of your chosen artists will gain in recognition.

And given the phenomenal increase in prices for contemporary art, if that happens, eventual profits could far outweigh the costs of initial purchases, even if other works fail to make the grade.

It’s worth remembering that many well-known collectors buy huge amounts of work by new, ‘promising’ artists.

Charles Saatchi is a particularly good example, and although he is famous for the apparent strength of his collection, a sizable proportion consists of artists who have now faded into obscurity (you won’t see these listed on the website).

However, the phenomenal rise in value of those who became major names – Peter Doig, for example – have reaped him many millions of dollars in profit at auction.

And if those are the rewards, you can probably afford to make the odd mistake.

Mike writes for modernedition.com, a resource providing articles and news on contemporary art, as well as limited edition prints and multiples by leading contemporary artists.

Handbags are no longer just items of practicality, but have become a symbol of style and self-identification and the demand for fashionable designer handbags shows no sign of slowing.

From practical to flamboyant, fashionable brand names create any and every size, style or color to pique every woman’s unique desire for style. As with any accessory, handbags also serve as an extension of the wearer’s personality; whether or not you’re flashy or low-key, you can find a bag that suits every outfit or mood.

Today’s fashion designer handbags cost upward of $1000 or more, and even if you can afford one, it’s inevitable that a new “it” bag will come along next month, making yours dated. Not only are designer replica handbags a fraction of the price, many even have the signature designer insignia – making them practically identical to each other.

Most women long for a brand name to wear on their arm, but most cannot afford the $1000 or more price tags on these designer handbags. There are many designer inspired handbags just as good looking as the originals.

Some advantages of designer inspired handbags are that they’re vastly more affordable than a major designer label. They match the current trend, and the craftsmanship of some is so good that distinguishing between a replica and a real bag is becoming increasingly difficult.

If you’re worried about the lack of authenticity, designer inspired handbags are by no means cheap knockoffs of a real bag. They serve the same purpose and, in many cases, are made from the same material as an original, which means the only thing you’re paying extra for is the name and where it’s made (usually China or Italy).

Online is a great place to search for designer handbags (replica or non), including styles made popular by Luis Vuitton, Gucci, Coach and Christian Dior. Since replicas have become such a big trend, manufacturers and retailers give more attention to detail, ensuring that your bag will look identical to the most popular designer labels.

The major concern when buying designer handbags of the replica variety is figuring out if they share the quality of an original. Here are some tips:

Only buy replica handbags labeled “inspired by” instead of those that claim to be authentic. There should be small, but visible differences so that the replica bag has the look and feel of the designer bag that inspired it.

Still be prepared to pay a good amount of money for a quality replica designer purse ($200-$500 range). The “designer inspired” version will not require thousands of dollars, but still expect to pay for things like quality and hand stitching.

When shopping online look for disclaimers. If the disclaimer states that the handbag is inspired by or in the style of the designer, rather than a copy of the designer original or falsely claiming to be authentic, you won’t be breaking any laws by buying one. Reputable companies will issue valid disclaimers and they will sell quality merchandise. Carefully examine any company selling replica purses for the quality, workmanship and customer service feedback.

Replica handbags will still cost you a weeks’ salary – so make sure the quality is worth it. Just because you are buying a replica doesn’t mean you should settle for poor construction or cheap materials. Know the quality of the original to know if the quality of the replica is acceptable.

Choosing replica handbags involves more than thinking you’ve found a deal that’s too good to be true from a street vendor for $50. Just do a little homework – understand the disclaimer statement, become familiar with designer quality and carefully examine replica handbags before purchasing.

Anne Clarke writes numerous articles for Web sites on gardening, parenting, fashion, and home decor. Her background also includes health and fitness, gardening, and fashion. For more of her useful articles on designer handbags, please visit Handbags, supplier of fine designer handbags and replica designer handbags.

One of the most important tasks your Web site must accomplish is communicating your message to site visitors. Be sure the time, energy and funds you’re spending produce design that assists in that communication.

Can Your Site Be Read Easily by All Visitors?

Readability is a fairly big topic and covers typefaces, capitalization, thickness of letters, colors and more. It is an important topic to keep in mind when designing your Web site. And it’s not just about visually impaired visitors. The decisions you make regarding any of these factors can affect how readable your site is to anyone.

Don’t make it difficult for visitors to read text on pages by adding dark colors or busy illustrations in the background. Patterned and even solid color backgrounds can reduce readability and obscure content on your Web site because they can reduce the contrast needed for our eyes to discern letter forms.

Stressing the Reader

Normally, when we read, we do so by recognizing words through the shapes made by letter combinations. When you reduce readability, you make readers work harder. They can’t read as fast because they have to look at each letter. It can get quite frustrating to attempt to read long passages of text through busy backgrounds or low contrast. Just try reading dark green type on a red background or yellow type on a light blue background. Or any words set against a background image that has words in it.

When backgrounds and the type on them are in colors that are close in value, not only does the contrast go away, but you can inadvertently introduce a visual effect that makes the type look like it’s vibrating.

Give Your Site Visitors a Break

Years ago, I participated in a university study of computer screen readability and the results were clear:

• Black type on a white background was the easiest to read.
• Dark type on a light background was more readable than light type on dark backgrounds.
• Sufficient contrast between type and background was required for readability.
• Background images reduced readability. The more complex and darker the background, the more difficult it became to read the text in the foreground.

So, take a look at your site. Do you have backgrounds set to colors that reduce readability? Do you have images placed behind important text? Do you have type set in colors that don’t show up well?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, what can you change that might improve the readability and, therefore, usability of your Web site.

• Can you lighten backgrounds or darken text, or both, to increase contrast?
• Can you remove images from behind text?
• If you must have a patterned background, can you make it very light like a watermark and arrange it so that large unpatterned sections are behind the blocks of text?

If something is hard to use it doesn’t get used very much.

Would you like more leading edge tips and tools for effective graphic design, Web site development and search engine optimization, brand marketing and communication? Then learn more about small business marketing and advertising at pinscreative.com.

Read our Flourish Newsletter or subscribe to the Ballyhoo Blog for more information and tips on marketing, graphic design and Website development.

You do not have to be a go-go dancer to wear thigh high boots. There are plenty of women these days that like to look sexy and feel good in a pair of boots. These fun and flirty thigh high boots are just what the doctor order to perk up some flare for women of all ages and all backgrounds. You do not have to have just one personality to wear a boot like this.

There are many young women today that like to wear the thigh high boot to make they look flirty at the nightclubs and dance bars that they go to. With a short little dress or skirt and a pair of thigh highs, a women can look as hot as she ever could. Men would be sure to take a second look at any woman that comes in with a hot pair of these on.

Although thigh high have a reputation for being only for sexy and short outfits, that may not be the case. There are plenty of outfit ideas that you can fit with a pair of thigh high boots. Many women can pair them up with a long skirt or dress or even a pair of shorts. Women do not have to wear just one certain look with these boots. That is the best part about these fun creations. You do not have to stick to the normal look; you can have fun and use them with your personal dress code.

There are a lot of different styles of these thigh high boots to choose from. Some are a little more risky and kinky than others. The women who want to look flirty and free may want to try the wilder and bolder styles. These colors are awesome and some even have neat designs and decorative items on them. There are boots with sequins, beads and even fringe on them.

While there are the women who want to live free and have a wild time in their boots, there is the more conservative kind that would rather stick to the less noticeable styles. For these women, they would rather stick to the regular boots that are found in white or black. These are still hot and sexy, just not as elaborate as the bolder styles are.

You do not have to be a certain age to wear thigh high boots. There is no age limit for having fun and look hot. With a pair of thigh high boots, you can feel as young and as free as you want. An age does not define who you are. It is your personality that you need to match up with. When you want to look hot and feel fun, you will defiantly find all that and more with a pair of thigh high boots.

For more info visit: http://www.best-shoes-online.net

By Flemming Andersen

About the Author

To find the best thigh high boots the author provides a detailed website with info and resources on sexy shoes.

Ralph Nader has had a tremendously positive impact on consumer activism in the United States. Ralph Nader has made the possibility of a legitimate third party candidate seem real, if not currently viable. In fact he has had an impact on Presidential elections not by being a strong contender, but by stealing votes away from candidates who desperately needed them. Not many people can say that.

What a wonderful legacy if we could just stop there. Unfortunately we cannot. Ralph Nader made some unfortunate statements regarding Barack Obama.

“There’s only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He’s half African-American,” Nader said. “Whether that will make any difference, I don’t know. I haven’t heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What’s keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white? He doesn’t want to appear like Jesse Jackson? We’ll see all that play out in the next few months and if he gets elected afterwards.”

Unfortunately he goes on to say, “I mean, first of all, the number one thing that a black American politician aspiring to the presidency should be is to candidly describe the plight of the poor, especially in the inner cities and the rural areas, and have a very detailed platform about how the poor is going to be defended by the law, is going to be protected by the law, and is going to be liberated by the law,” Nader said. “Haven’t heard a thing.”

First of all what exactly does talking white mean? Does it mean to speak the English language properly with good diction and grammar? If so what is the problem with that? Should he speak Ebonics and have rap music in the background of his commercials?

Secondly, why should he only speak to the poor? The implication here from Nader is that all black people are poor. That all black people get payday loans and live in asbestos filled housing. Mr. Nader you do find black people, believe it or not, who do not live in the ghetto. Oh yeah, you just might find that there are a few white people that do live in the ghetto.

A Presidential candidate out of necessity must speak to all people. I applaud Mr. Obama for rising above race even when the national media, along with Reverend Wright have tried to make it an issue. It is very reasonable, with our unfortunate history of race relations, to suggest that Mr. Obama is the Democratic nominee for President not because he is black but in spite of that fact. Yet Ralph Nader would like you to believe otherwise. He would like you to think that he is outperforming Mr. McCain because “white guilt” for the sins of our past, is bringing out white voters in favor of Barack Obama. It is unfortunate that Mr. Nader is trying to diminish the ability and credentials of Obama. It is also unfortunate that he demeans all of us who may vote for Barack Obama by suggesting that we are incapable of making an informed, intelligent decision but instead are casting our vote based on emotional factors.

Perhaps Ralph Nader has run in one too many Presidential elections. As of right now he appears to be little more than an extremist, eccentric doddering old fool. He would do well to rethink his statements and issue an apology.

Maybe he needs to give his next speech dressed in camou and a ball cap. Then he would be addressing his people, white people. Perhaps he should finish any future speech with the following plea, “Ya’ll come out and vote for me, ya hear.”

Dan Bimrose is the creator of coffeeandprozac.com a website devoted to helping people help themselves. His “Attack Your Life” series aims to give people simple, easy to understand methods to profoundly change their lives. Help battling depression, anxiety and stress