my happy blog

Are you and your spouse worried about what’s happening with your savings, your pension, your children’s college funds, or just staying employed? The Dow Jones is under 10,000 and European banks sound as shaky as the US banks. Do you find yourself fearful of your futures together? Do you find yourselves disagreeing with your partner about how to weather this financial meltdown? Do you find yourselves arguing because one of you makes more money and feels like they have more control over how money is spent? When money gets tight as a result of reduced income or increased mortgage payments and is combined with financial fears of the future, those old money arguments (my money vs. your money) may be causing you problems again. It is time for the two of you to have discussions again about money.

In his book Love & Money, Jeff Opdyke says: “It’s not really about the money. It’s about creating another level of intimacy in your relationship and bestowing trust on each other.” He further recommends joint accounts for couples which explicitly demonstrates the trust you have with your spouse.

When we keep secrets from our spouse about how much we make, how we spend money, or even how much money we have, this indicates a measure of distrust in the other person. When times are tough like now, you need to trust and have faith in your legal and romantic partner. All your money and all your debts are consider joint by the state. If you are not considering them joint, you are losing out. You lose resources that your partner brings to solving financial problems. You lose a feeling of honesty about yourself. And you lose some ability to manage your family finances in the best way possible.

If the two of you are not quite ready to combine your accounts, at least try to agree on and be committed to the following:

1. Agree to live within your means, so that expenses do not exceed your income.

2. Agree to open, honest communication about money.

3. Promise not to blame one another, judge each other, or keep secrets about money.

4. Be prepared to listen to your partner and understand their perspective.

You both need to be fully aware of the family gross and net income, to know where household (and individual) money goes each month and to know how much debt you have and the interest costs you are paying.

If you are unable to have a frank and open discussion about your money with your spouse, you may benefit from seeing a marriage counselor. The National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists (www.marriagefriendlytherapist.com) is a good resource for finding a therapist who is invested in helping you save your marriage. If you are unable to curb your spending, you might consider Debtors Anonymous, an organization for people trying to reduce debt and regain solvency. If you need a housing counselor or help with your mortgage, go to the web site of the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (www.hud.gov) and click on the Hope for Homeowners link.

It’s important to realize you are not alone. Many couples and families are struggling. Don’t let your marriage be a casualty of the worst financial disaster most of us have ever seen. You and your spouse are in this together. Get the help you need to keep your marriage stable and safe.

If you decide that you might need marriage counseling, check out my website, http://www.PamLipe.com My specialty is marriage and relationship counseling. For 20 years, I have been helping couples find the love and support they want in their marriages. My therapy practice serves the metropolitan area of Minneapolis/St.Paul, MN.

Acupuncture is a traditional Chinese therapeutic technique whereby the body is punctured with fine needles at specific points on the body thus allowing the body’s natural energy flow freely. Using certain points on the female body will improve blood flow and create more energy in the uterus. While mystery may shroud how acupuncture and IVF relate, the success rate rose almost 50 percent with the inclusion of acupuncture therapy with IVF.

This traditional Chinese therapy is based on the belief that there is an energy flowing through your body. Meridians, where this energy is thought to flow, can become blocked causing illness or in some cases infertility. The blocking or imbalance of this energy needs to be restored or cleared, thus making acupuncture a viable addition to IVF. Rebalancing the flow of energy to your uterus will restore your body to its natural state of fertility.

While the traditional method of acupuncture is the use of thin needles, other types of the therapy include heat, pressure, or mild electrical current to help stimulate the flow of energy along meridians. Using an alternative form of treatment in conjunction with IVF may increase your success of becoming pregnant.

Making the uterus more receptive to receiving an embryo is the ultimate goal when using acupuncture in conjunction with IVF. Acupuncture is said to affect the autonomic nervous system, which is involved in controlling the muscles and glands. Clearing the pathways called meridians is the theory of acupuncture, therefore allowing natural energy to flow properly.

Acupuncture has shown to aid chemotherapy patients in the relief of nausea as well as patients who experience nausea after anesthesia. In addition, this Chinese therapeutic technique is also believed to relieve pain associated with headaches, menstrual cramping as well as dental pain.

Traditional Chinese medicine shows specific acupuncture points that relax the uterus. These meridians involving the spleen, stomach and colon are thought to improve blood flow and create uterine energy. Acupuncture treatments are given both before and after an IVF, thereby increasing the success rate by almost fifty percent.

The first step to creating a healthy environment for a child to thrive is to take care of your body. Choose healthy foods and supplements as well as relaxation methods to reduce the daily stress your body is put under. If IVF is the option you choose for conception, think about the added benefit of acupuncture in conjunction with IVF for an increase success rate in becoming pregnant.

If the thought of needles inserted into your skin gives you the willies, keep in mind the other forms of acupuncture available. Recent studies do show that using acupuncture in conjunction with IVF increase your chances of becoming pregnant by almost fifty percent. Removing the mystery from acupuncture and IVF is an ongoing study; however, the success rate is encouraging for anyone who is experiencing trouble getting pregnant.

Are you having problems getting pregnant? Are you looking for fertility treatment, have fertility questions, or looking for books on fertility? You might well have heard about IVF and yes, it’s expensive and frequently requires several treatments. It’s time to learn the truth about IVF and why IVF is often useless……or even worse.

Learn about the only true and complete way to view infertility and ways to ensure your body is totally ready to conceive and changes you can make right now, to increase your chances of pregnancy by 3,000% and much, much more! Visit IncreaseFertility.info now.

So how did Reznor get to this high and mighty position? He didn’t start a band in high school like so many other rock stars, he was in the marching band instead. Not exactly a cool way to start out. It wasn’t until he went off to college to study computer engineering that he got himself into a band called Option 30. It didn’t last long and he eventually dropped out of college to pursue his musical career.

Trent spent the mid 80′s finding his place as a musician. In Cleveland, Ohio, he performed as the keyboardist for a band called The Innocent. Still searching for the right place for himself, he left the band after recording just one album. Another local Cleveland band, the Exotic Birds, was the benefactor of Trents talents after he left The Innocent.

During this time, Trent also spent some time working in the Right Track Studio in Cleveland, Ohio. It wasn’t exactly a dream music gig that he landed. Trent was hired as the assistant engineer and handyman for the studio. This job had a perk that Trent took full advantage of. After hours, he had access to the studio where he recorded demos for the future Nine Inch Nails album, ‘Pretty Hate Machine’.

One of the difficulties Reznor had with recording these demos was he had no band. He really couldn’t find anyone that could play the music to his standards either. So, following in Prince’s footsteps, Reznor took on the task of being a one man band. He wrote and sang all of the lyrics as well as played and recorded all of the instruments himself, except the drums.

Reznor specifically chooses musicians for tours depending on what songs are on the playlist. Since NIN music is so unique and Trent wants it to be his way, it’s not easy to find people to play with. In alot of ways this setup seems to be more creative than the way bands usually go about it. With only one man in control of the creation of the music, there aren’t any arguments, discussions or dramas. Seems to clear the air for all of that creative energy to flow and it comes out in the music at the end.

Trent didn’t have huge aspirations for NIN at the time. In fact, he simply wanted to record one 12 inch vinyl single of the band on a small European label. ‘Pretty Hate Machine’ far outdid anything he ever expected. It spent over 110 weeks on the Billboard 200 and became one of the first independently released records to gain Platinum Certification. Videos for “Down in It” and “Head Like a Hole” made it into living rooms everywhere when they appeared on MTV.

Despite not having a consistent set of band members, NIN began touring in in 1990 as an opening act for other alternative rock bands. NIN then set out on a world tour that ended at the first Lollapalooza festival in 1991. Not surprisingly, Trent’s on-stage antics and the amazing music were both a huge hit.

The EP, ‘Broken’, released in 92, was much harder than the ‘Pretty Hate Machine’ album. It won Nine Inch Nails two Grammy awards for the singles “Happiness In Slavery” and “Wish”. The video from “Happiness In Slavery” was banned nearly everywhere because of its content. In fact, many of Nine Inch Nails videos from this time are considered a bit too rough for some.

In 1994, NIN released their second full-length album entitled “The Downward Spiral”. It hit the billboard charts and soared straight to #2. To this day it’s the top charting Nine Inch Nails album. During WoodStock ’94, the band, continuing their Self Destruct tour, performed in true WoodStock style, in the mud. The pay-per-view event was broadcast to up to 24 million homes, not to mention the live audience. This is the performance that truly shoved NIN into the mainstream.

Nine Inch Nails next two albums, ‘Fragile’, released in 1999 and ‘With Teeth’ from 2005 both debuted at the number one position on the Billboard Top 200. And of course, both of these albums were followed up with successful tours. All the while, Trent was doing battle with his drug and alcohol addictions. Both albums experienced delays in the production, and the blame was solely on Reznor.

2007 brought the release of a new album with a whole new sound for Nine Inch Nails. The ‘Year Zero’ album spawned the singles “Survivalism” and “Capital G”. Both singles appeared on the playlists of rock radio stations across the U.S. The concept album tells the story of a futuristic landscape and the characters that inhabit it. Heavy electronics, grinding beats and Trents characteristic crooning appealed to NIN fans and critics alike.

Recently, Reznor released another concept album entitled ‘Ghosts I – IV’, an eery collection of instrumental work. Nine of the original tracks were made available as a free download from the NIN website. Following in the footsteps of that successful venture, another album ‘The Slip’ was also released as a free download. Trent’s passion for his music comes out in all the right ways on both these albums.

For More On Nine Inch Nails And More About Your Favorite Rock Bands And Music, Visit http://AudioFlip.Com

AudioFlip.Com is dedicated to rock and roll music and rock culture. The site offers the latest music news, rock band reviews, music videos, free music downloads, indie music, concert ticket information, rock radio, pics of rock stars, rock fashion, tattoos and piercings and everything else rock music fans need. Musicians can also learn about the music industry, get guitar lessons, learn how to play the drums, get independent record label information, learn about concert promotions and much more.

You might be surprised to learn that just about every human being has 100,000 strands of hair on their heads. However, because of differences in texture, some people appear to have less hair, and some people appear to have a whole lot more.

What is texture?
Texture is the circumference of each individual strand of hair. If you have fine hair then your hair has a small circumference and you appear to have less hair on your head. Conversely, if you have coarse hair then your hair has a larger circumference and this bulk makes you appear to have a lot more hair than someone with finer hair texture.

Ultimately, the texture of your hair is simply a matter of genetics; if your parents have coarse hair, you will also, if they have finer hair, you will too. However, thankfully the hair care industry has developed ways you can enhance and modify your hair’s natural texture to achieve the popular styling choices you desire.

Fine Textured Hair

Fine textured hair is generally straight and can appear limp because of residues from hair care products. It can easily be processed by perming and coloring. However, it is important to not over-process fine hair because it can be easily damaged.

There are many things you can do to enhance the texture of fine hair. Some of them are:

Use a Clarifying Shampoo – To reduce residues and oils you should use a clarifying shampoo on fine hair. This will strip off the residue left by shampoos, conditioners, and styling products. Kenra manufactures a shampoo called: Kenra Clarifying Shampoo. Kenra’s Clarifying Shampoo is ideal for removing mineral deposits and chemical build-up from hair styling products. However, while this shampoo cleanses your hair, it also adds shine and body.

Use Mousse While Wet – After you shampoo with a clarifying shampoo, adding mousse to your hair (when it is wet) can give it added texture. Start at the roots and massage the mousse into your hair and then let it air dry, or dry it with a hairdryer on low heat. Not everyone wants to use the same hold factor in a mousse. There is a very wide variety of mousses to choose from, however I have three different options to look at. First is the Alterna Life Volumizing Spray Mousse. This is an aerosol mousse that has a light to medium hold. The Alterna Life Mousse was manufactured with fine and thin hair in mind. The exclusive LIFE blend of extracts provides weightless thickening agents that define, maintain, and preserve volume all day long. This product also contains anti humectants that effectively repel humidity, leaving your hair with a smooth texture and a radiant shine.

If you need more of a hold, I would go with a medium hold mousse. An example of this is the Biosilk Silk Mousse. This is an alcohol free mousse that is rich, creamy, and infused with concentrated silk and botanical extracts which add volume and shine.

If you require a strong holding mousse, I would recommend the Brocato Volumizing Foam. This product is a strong holding mousse that creates visual texture and stunning shine. This mousse allows your hair style to be firm, yet still moveable. This is an exceptional volumizing foam with a powerful hold that is great for all hair types!

Color Your Fine Hair – Another good way to add texture to fine hair is to color it. Coloring your hair adds texture to it by enlarging the hair shaft.

Coarse Textured Hair

Coarse, textured hair is generally thicker and harder to process. Coarse hair resists perming, straightening, and coloring.

There are a few things you can do to work with the texture of coarse hair. Some of them are:

Add Moisture – Coarse hair needs added moisture to control frizz and curl. By using a good conditioner you can insure you course hair will lay flatter and be shinier. Some manufacturers offer leave in treatments, rinse-out treatments, or hydrating conditioners that will help to incorporate moisture back into your hair. Bonacure makes a rinse-out treatment entitled Bonacure Moisture Treatment. This is a great product for naturally dry, or naturally coarse hair. This product reconstructs the moisture in your hair shaft from the inside out, which balances the moisture in your hair.

Joico makes a leave-in detangler that you can use on a daily basis which is called Joico Daily Leave-in Detangler. This is a conditioning agent that helps to condition, detangle, and make hair easier to manage. This product will also help you restore the moisture balance in your hair.

People rave about Pureology products and what they do for their hair, and that is why I would recommend the Pureology Hydrating Conditioner. The hydrating conditioner works from the inside out to keep your hair color fresh and your hair detangled ,all with renewed body and amazing shine! Hair is left conditioned, color protected, and shiny!

Air Dry – One of the most important things you can do for coarse hair is to let it air dry. Wash it, condition it, and then let it dry on its own. By not handling your hair too much while it is drying, it will not frizz.

Whether you have fine hair, coarse hair, or something in between, you can work with it by learning about texture and which products to use and which to avoid. By using products that are beneficial for your hair texture, you can better amplify the hair that you were given.

Stuff4Beauty Your Hair Products Specialists!

Methamphetamine is one of Cnn illegal drugs and it is a very strong addictive substance. It is a psycho stimulant drug. It is used to treat attention-deficit- hyperactivity disorder. It is a crystal form of hydrochloride which can stimulate Cnn nervous system. Sometimes it is used as a medication prescription for obesity. It is otherwise called as meth, ice, crystal or glass. It is used illegally to reduce the weight and to maintain, motivate the medical clarity and for recreation. Comparing other drugs it is very harmful to the nervous system and it affects some of the brain systems. It will available only as a prescription but it is refilled. It is highly possible to misuse and it can be prepared in the small laboratory but it pollutes the environment while producing.

Methamphetamine can be used in the form of syringe, smoke and it can also be taken orally. The person who misuses this drug will soon become addict by requiring more dose than the normal dosage. This addiction can be treated by the behavioral therapy. The use of meth can be withdrawn by sleeping and eating at right time. Sometimes this may refer to speed but it is amphetamines. The meth inhaled and smoked will deposit on the brain and affect the cells bind over the brain. The color of the meth can vary by their manufacturers and they are available in the form of pills or tablets. The treatment for meth is very complex when the addicted person is affected by any illness and some mental depression.

Effects of Methamphetamine

The effects of methamphetamine are divided into short-term and long-term effect. The short-term effect may include increased attention, activity and decreased fatigue, appetite and it increase the rate of respiratory system and the blood pressure. Some of the long-term or chronic effects includes the loss of weight, changes the control of brain and nervous system, damage of major organs such as heart, lung etc, violent behavior, uncontrolled driving of vehicle, mood disturbance and anxiety. The misuse of meth may also transmit the infection of HIV and hepatitis b and c.

Symptoms of Meth Addiction

If the person withdraws the usage of meth then the following symptoms such as depression, anxiety, loss of weight, intense drug carving etc will occur. It increases the level of neurotransmitter which stimulates the brain cells and it changes the mood of the person who takes meth. Methamphetamine also damages the cell of animals when they penetrate into their body. The dopamine and serotonin which contains neuron does not die after the use of meth. Instead they terminate the process of division and give rise to growth of new cells. The person who uses meth undergoes emotional problems and memory loss.

Chy King, M.Ed. is the owner of The Sober Sources Network and has extended her network on alcoholism and addiction recovery for both adults and teen to incorporate 14 different websites in hopes of helping those seeking their own solutions. The forums may be viewed at:

http://www.thesobervillage.com

http://www.soberteensonline.com

http://www.recoveryworks.info

Burma has a long and dark history of oppression, which started on August 8, 1988. The “8888 Uprising” as it is called was a national peaceful revolution demanding democracy that University students launched to let their voices be heard against the corrupt government in the capital of Rangoon.

The protests ended on September 18, 1988, after a bloody military coup by the State Law and Order Restoration Council (SLORC). Thousands of monks and students were killed by soldiers who used bayonets in an effort to keep the matter quiet and out of the media.

Thousands were killed on the infamous named “Red Bridge” when the military fired upon a student protest while it was crossing until the bridge itself was red with the students’ blood. During the crisis, activist Aung San Suu Kyi emerged as a national hero and has since been recognized as a the leader of the democratic movement in Burma (now known as Myanmar).

The September 2007 Saffron Revolution was again led by monks and students who oppose the oppressive regime leading Myanmar. A wave of anti-government protests started in Myanmar (also known as Burma) on August 15, 2007 and are ongoing thanks to the abusive military junta who continue to incite the people. Sources say the immediate cause of the protests was mainly the decision of the ruling junta, the State Peace and Development Council, to remove fuel subsidies, as IMF and World Bank recommended, increasing the price of fuel by as much as 100%.

The three times I went to Burma I encountered a very corrupt economy in which foreigners upon entry into the country are made to exchange $300 USD upon entering. In return a visitor receives FEC (a foreign currency of sorts which is utterly worthless anywhere else in the world). Once you have your FEC you than need to exchange them for chat within Burma as the Burmese people use chat rather than the government’s FEC which the government basically instituted to cleverly shave off a fraction of foreign spending before it begins.

September 2007 crimes against humanity were led by the junta security forces who began raiding monasteries across the country to quell the protests, arresting at least 200 monks in Yangon and 500 more in the northeast. Security forces raided at least five Buddhist monasteries. Several monks were injured, bleeding, and forced into a vehicle during a clash with the security forces.

The army raided four monasteries in Yangon and arrested several monks in an attempt to bring leading activists “under control” after which they turned their attention to civilian protesters. Security forces are reported to be preparing to use insect spray to crack down on protesters. Eyewitnesses said fire engines and insect spray carrier trucks were seen near Theingyi market in downtown Yangon. The BBC reported that fire crews were ordered to fill their machines with insecticide.

According to several news media the armed forces gave the protesters 10 minutes to disperse or face extreme action. The radio station Democratic Voice of Burma reported that nine civilians, including Japanese photo-journalist Kenji Nagai was shot and killed by the armed forces.

Soldiers fired both into the air and directly at students marching toward a high school in Tam We township in Yangon. Primary school children were inside the school at the time and were reportedly hit by bullets, as were parents arriving to pick up their children. Eyewitness report 100 people were shot. Up to 300 of the students outside were arrested after a military truck rammed into the crowd.

Although the former US ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton told BBC that China is the key to political change in Myanmar, no boycott of the Olympic games soon to take place in China is happening. No economic pressure is being applied to China to provide an incentive to deal with Myanmar.

With China quietly supporting the ruling junta in Myanmar and the United States passively approving, the United Nations needs to take the lead along with other nations.

Paul Davis is a highly sought after worldwide professional speaker, purpose coach, and change master transforming organizations and empowering individuals to live their dreams.

Paul is the author of several books including United States of Arrogance; Poems that Propel the Planet; Breakthrough for a Broken Heart; Adultery: 101 Reasons Not to Cheat; Are You Ready for True Love; Stop Lusting & Start Living; Waves of God; Supernatural Fire; God vs. Religion; and many more!

Paul’s compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul’s organization Dream-Maker Inc. builds dreams, transcends limitations, & reconciles nations.

Contact Paul to speak at your event or for consulting:

RevivingNations@yahoo.com
407-284-1705

http://www.PaulFDavis.com

How Does Clothing Affect Us? Without a doubt, clothing is the most prominent facade of our well being in society. It can camouflage, it can cover-up and it can build as much as it can destroy our image. It tells others what we want, our talents, our needs, our personalities, our dispositions and our destinations. Clothing is silent but very powerful communicator. We’ve all experienced better treatment when we look especially well and what it’s like to be treated badly when we don’t. We can get attention when we enter a room or attract people with the same interest. That is because people relate to the way we wear our clothing. Clothes are said to make “fashion statements.” By overlooking, we’re suitable to convey uncertainty and confusion. By emphasizing we can enhance our look, strength and success. Clothes can create positive aspects of ourselves it sparks self assurance and confidence. It can make people respond and be excited to be in our presence. At times, clothes are the only visible clues to our personalities.

You are what you wear. It’s like a wrap of a beautiful gift. The wrapper represents your clothes and gift represents your body. So, no matter how good looking you are inside if you fail to present yourself outside, your inside would be presumed like your outside. The key is to wear cloths that fit your body and that inspire confidences.

Whether it’s fair or not, a person’s first judgment of other is based on clothing. Clothing is the first clue absorbed by the eye before the brain judges’ first impression. Clothing has become the most important judging factor of first impression. The rest including intellectual appreciation comes only second.

Your image is showing when other people look at you, they make judgments about you based on what they see. Appearance creates a picture of who you are. When other people lack personal information about you, they may use your personal appearance to judge your character. They may judge your ability and disposition by that first impression. By changing any part of your appearance such as hairstyle, grooming, or clothing, you can change the total image others have of you. Appearance can be a powerful and useful tool in controlling the kind of message you send to others.

When you first enter a room, an office, a bus or a business meeting, you only have one free moment, one great instant in which you receive the complete and undivided attention of those around you. In that instant, the people observing decide whether you are a threat or an attraction, whether you are of interest to them or not. If you mess-up that moment, you will have to work awfully hard for the next. When you see a beautiful woman wearing something really odd you’d say “she’s beautiful but…” and when you see a very handsome man wearing wrinkled trousers with dirty white socks, you don’t approach them nor say hi.

Michael is a fashion expert with over eight years of experience, who’s mission is to teach people how look and feel their best! For the latest fashion advice and tips, eco-chic updates and much more visit http://www.Voiceoffashion.com

In our technology-driven age, mass production has brought style to the masses. Every day thousands of clothes and accessories are sold through high street stores, outfitting people in identical ways. The designers that dictate fashion decide what we were each season, and how long that look will last. When the new ranges come into the shops, we’re all meant to change and conform; clothes aren’t made to last a lifetime, but just a season so that several times a year we buy more.

There is a comeback in high quality handmade items however, with some consumers bucking the trend. There are many reasons for this; some of which aren’t always to do with fashion. The modern concern with the environment for example has led to a stand against using the world’s natural resources. Recycled is king and vintage is increasingly popular. Items made from natural materials have a foothold on the high street already with some shops specialising in this area, and freelance designers are increasingly using them in their work.

Unfortunately, due to the rise in popularity of recycled items, thrift stores are disappearing and being replaced by “vintage boutiques”. Here you’ll find the same items as always but at a vastly increased price, thanks to the increased demand. Shops can charge what people will pay, and increasingly consumers are prepared to pay a premium. Vintage is even becoming more mainstream, with high street names like Topshop launching their own vintage range of clothes; hand-picking second-hand items to sell in their stores.

Returning to handmade items, they don’t always have to be expensive. Etsy is a great example of this, where people all over the world can showcase and sell their own creations. You often don’t seem to pay for the work that’s involved, because you’re able to snap up bargains for a lot less than high-street prices. These accessories are unique and well-made; you won’t find anyone else with something similar. It also gives designers a chance to showcase their work without conforming themselves to the demand of big companies.

If you do have a large budget, handmade is perhaps always the way to go. You can afford designer products, limited to one and made to your specifications. Modern artists aren’t limited to traditional materials, although many choose this route as a matter of taste. These days however, designers can work with just about any material, from gold and silver to glass and diamante stones. Almost anything can be handmade; even cars and boats, and although your item will be unique, the quality control will be strict as you’re paying a premium for the service. Tailored clothes were the only clothes before the days of mass production, but nowadays they’re often the preserve of the rich. Jewelery and accessories are handmade at a more reasonable cost.

If you want to go against the trend and stand out from the crowd, handmade is definitely for you. As we’ve seen, it really doesn’t have to break the bank and you won’t compromise on quality.

Sylvia Kittens lives in Harrogate, England

In our technology-driven age, mass production has brought style to the masses. Every day thousands of clothes and accessories are sold through high street stores, outfitting people in identical ways. The designers that dictate fashion decide what we were each season, and how long that look will last. When the new ranges come into the shops, we’re all meant to change and conform; clothes aren’t made to last a lifetime, but just a season so that several times a year we buy more.

There is a comeback in high quality handmade items however, with some consumers bucking the trend. There are many reasons for this; some of which aren’t always to do with fashion. The modern concern with the environment for example has led to a stand against using the world’s natural resources. Recycled is king and vintage is increasingly popular. Items made from natural materials have a foothold on the high street already with some shops specialising in this area, and freelance designers are increasingly using them in their work.

Unfortunately, due to the rise in popularity of recycled items, thrift stores are disappearing and being replaced by “vintage boutiques”. Here you’ll find the same items as always but at a vastly increased price, thanks to the increased demand. Shops can charge what people will pay, and increasingly consumers are prepared to pay a premium. Vintage is even becoming more mainstream, with high street names like Topshop launching their own vintage range of clothes; hand-picking second-hand items to sell in their stores.

Returning to handmade items, they don’t always have to be expensive. Etsy is a great example of this, where people all over the world can showcase and sell their own creations. You often don’t seem to pay for the work that’s involved, because you’re able to snap up bargains for a lot less than high-street prices. These accessories are unique and well-made; you won’t find anyone else with something similar. It also gives designers a chance to showcase their work without conforming themselves to the demand of big companies.

If you do have a large budget, handmade is perhaps always the way to go. You can afford designer products, limited to one and made to your specifications. Modern artists aren’t limited to traditional materials, although many choose this route as a matter of taste. These days however, designers can work with just about any material, from gold and silver to glass and diamante stones. Almost anything can be handmade; even cars and boats, and although your item will be unique, the quality control will be strict as you’re paying a premium for the service. Tailored clothes were the only clothes before the days of mass production, but nowadays they’re often the preserve of the rich. Jewelery and accessories are handmade at a more reasonable cost.

If you want to go against the trend and stand out from the crowd, handmade is definitely for you. As we’ve seen, it really doesn’t have to break the bank and you won’t compromise on quality.

Sylvia Kittens lives in Harrogate, England

I once had a student who spent the first two weeks in my class obsessing about her twelve-year-old son and what was wrong with his behavior.

I asked her one-day, “Does he do drugs, hang with dangerous crowds, break the law?”

“No.”

“Are you afraid he’s going to hurt himself in some way?”

“No, he is a great kid, he’s so smart. He could do so much if he would only try harder. I keep telling bags that he could be more if he just worked at it. But he doesn’t listen to me. He rolls his eyes at me behind my back.”

At this point, the principle of reflection made me wonder who had not been listening to whom. I asked her to pretend that I was her son and to role-play a typical discussion. What followed was a list of all the things that I, as her son, should be doing. She would have gone on for an hour if I had not stopped her.

I said straight out, “If I were your son, and that was how you spoke to me, then I’d roll my eyes at you too.” That comment stopped her in mid-sentence. “What do you think your son is hearing when you talk to him?” I continued. “Because what I just heard is that you don’t think he’s good enough, and you want him to change. Who would want to listen to that? If you were my friend, and all you ever did was lecture me about what I ought to be doing, I wouldn’t want to listen to you either. It doesn’t matter what you mean to say. What matters is what he hears. You may think that you are offering love and advice, but I think that he’s hearing you don’t think he’s good enough. You said, yourself, that he’s a good kid and not in any trouble. Have you ever thought that maybe he needs less of your advice and more of your approval? Maybe, if you listened to him for a change, talked with him instead of at him, he might stop rolling his eyes and start wanting your opinion.”

After I finished my tirade, we talked about her situation with the class for a while and developed a strategy that she agreed to. She would hold back any advice for one week and see what happened. She would plan to only have fun with her son that week. She would spend time with him, play with him and listen to him; but she would avoid probing him, or advising him in any way.

A few weeks later, she confided shyly to the class that the night before, her son had put his arms around her and said, “I love you, mommy.”

“He hasn’t done that in ages,” she admitted near tears.

When my student redefined the problem that she was having with her son, as a reflection of a problem in herself and how she communicated her love and concern, she was able to open herself up to a strategy that created the cause she wanted. Her son stopped rolling his eyes and started opening up to her.

The most fundamental changes in life happen when we redefine who we are. When we see ourselves differently, we think differently. When we think differently, we feel differently. When we feel differently, we behave differently, and we don’t need some quick-fix technique to control ourselves, or others.

So open your mind and explore your definitions. Your life will expand proportionately…

If you don’t know where to start, visit http://www.navigatinglife.org, where you will find a free fourteen week on-line course, based upon A River Worth Riding: Fourteen Weeks for Navigating Life, which can help you steer through the roughest waters, as well as an on-line life coach available to answer your questions.

Lynn Marie cosmetics has toured over two-dozen countries and worked on three continents. Author of A River Worth Riding: Fourteen Rules for Navigating Life, Lynn currently lives in California; where she fills her time with private coaching, public speaking, and teaching for the LACCD and Pierce College. She runs the Navigating Life website, where she offers free assistance to readers who wish to incorporate the rules of worthwhile living into their lives. To read more about how you can use these rules to improve your life, visit Lynn’s website at http://www.navigatinglife.org