Posts Tagged ‘ couples ’

When you are going on your honeymoon, no doubt you want to make the time as romantic as possible. You’ll want to have a honeymoon that leaves you with wonderful memories that will last a lifetime. Romantic honeymoons are very possible. To have the most romantic getaway possible, here are a few tips and ideas.

Tip #1 – Get the Special Honeymoon Suite – It is well worth it to stay in a honeymoon suite on the first night of your lives as a married couple. Even if you can only afford to book it for one night. Go ahead and spend the money at least for one night because the lavish suite is something you’ll never forget.

Tip #2 – Go Somewhere New – If you want romance, you need to embrace adventure as a couple. This is a definite way to make your honeymoon even more romantic. Going somewhere new and different will bring the two of you closer together.

Tip #3 – Bring Some Music – For romantic honeymoons, taking along some of your favorite romantic music is a great way to breathe a little romance into the air. Romantic music can get the both of you in the mood for walking on a beach at night, slow dancing, or simply having a romantic evening together. It’s a grand way to set the mood.

Those are just a few of some of the many things couples can do to create romantic honeymoons. Keep a journal to record the special moments, use candlelight, and have some strawberries with wine to set the romantic mood. The most important thing is to be sure that you have wonderful and romantic time as a couple.

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Is your long distance relationship thriving…or just surviving? Are you madly in love with someone but cannot find a way to live in the same city? How do you support your relationship when you have very real physical distance between you?

I have seen couples fall apart because they could not sustain their relationship due to the distance between them, and I have seen others who find creative, romantic ways to keep the love alive. I know people who had a long distance relationship for years, complained about it, and finally got together in the same city, only to break up months after they lived near each other. Some people have long distance relationships and like it that way. And some couples don’t like the distance at all, but manage to still stay close.

How do they do that? Here are some of the challenges that exist when you have an out-of-town romance, and what you can do about it:

* Commitment

If you have just met, take care to spend enough time to truly know each other before you get in a committed relationship. There is no substitute for face-to-face communication. You need to meet each other’s friends, family, and co-workers. You need to experience good times and stressful ones together. Once you do, decide what your expectations are for your relationship. Be open and honest. How much commitment are you willing to give each other? This clarity is important to minimize misunderstanding.

* Trust

Once you can determine if you are both on the same level of investment in the relationship, trust and honesty become paramount to the success of your future. These elements are at the heart of all lasting unions, but distance challenges the security of your connection.

* Communication

Be dedicated to the way you stay in touch. Phone calls, emails, and chatting on-line are important. Set up a regular time to visit with each other, building a routine. But add some surprises such as, homemade videos, collected poems put in a special book, or self-decorated greeting cards. Stretch your imagination further with a lock of your hair in a unique box; an absorbent piece of cloth with your perfume or after-shave scent; your favorite flower, pressed and framed. If the other person does not call often, make time for you, or send appropriate communications, do not hang on. Let go and get on with your life.

* Plan your reunions.

Decide where to meet, how often, and how you want to spend the time when you see each other. Be very clear about what your expectations are for the time you have together. This is where many relationships break down. His idea of the perfect weekend could be sitting in front of the TV with her at his side, watching football. Hers could be visiting friends, attending a romantic movie, and later sharing secrets of the heart. He may expect her to cook his dinner; she may expect him to take her out. We all have old scripts that play out in new relationships, and unless we communicate what we want from each other, this is a recipe for misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Finally, decide how long you want to live apart, and set a date for the move. It is true that when one of you moves to the other one’s town, you are taking a risk. However, most people say that even when it doesn’t work out, at least they gave love a chance. They didn’t want to spend their life longing to be somewhere else, continuing–a long distance relationship.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

Putting all your energies into the care of a new baby can take its toll on your relationship with your partner. His needs may take a back seat while you focus on your little bundle of joy. The strain won’t show immediately but it can make you drift apart if you don’t give your relationship some attention.

Bodily changes, aches and tiredness are some of the reasons that keep you from nurturing a loving relationship with your partner. While they are seemingly logical reasons for losing touch with one another, those reasons eventually disappear as your baby grows older.

Don’t wait for your marriage or relationship to deteriorate further. There are things that you can do to re-ignite the passion that was there before your baby came along. Here are some tips to get you started:

Act like singles
Go out on dates regularly. You can have your date night when your baby is under the care of an immediate family member or a sitter you can trust. With a young baby, you can’t always have spontaneity with your partner. But that should not keep you from enjoying each other’s company while you are out on your own.

Spend some time preparing for your date by choosing something nice to wear or even agreeing to meet up instead of going to your date venue together. The idea is to simulate a date with someone you just met. This will raise the excitement level a notch higher than if you went out as husband and wife. When you go out on dates, try to have a conversation about each other while keeping discussions about your new baby to a minimum.

Flirt with your partner
Oftentimes, a relationship hits a plateau when things begin to normalize and feel like a special friendship instead of a romantic one. To keep the romantic fire burning, be like two lovebirds that can’t get enough of each other.

Occasional public displays of affection tend to disappear over time as most couples think that the home is the only place to be comfortable with one another. There is nothing more exciting than giving your partner a kiss to show him that you are happy while you are out shopping or taking a walk.

Holding hands while walking is also a simple way to connect while you are out. During the day, surprise your husband with simple messages that show you miss him or long for him. Text messaging is a great way to flirt with your husband without disrupting his work.

Make coming home to you a treat for your husband
While both of you may have had long days away from each other, a simple hug and kiss the moment he enters your home is always a welcome treat. Do it as a matter of routine and your husband will look forward to it as he ends his day at work.

Be unpredictable
You can be whatever you want to be with your husband behind closed doors. This is where a little imagination and some effort on your part will come in. The old routine may still be fine but a man always appreciates the unexpected as something new will leave him wondering what else is in store for him.

Inject some fun into your private lives. Buy new lingerie or put on a sexy wig. Set the mood with scented candles and bubble baths together. The possibilities are endless if you set your mind into creating them.

Always look your best
Men are visual creatures. Most men complain that marriage makes a woman complacent. While women used to spend lots of time prepping for a date when they were single, no such enthusiasm to please their husbands exists once they become domesticated.

Now I realize that having a baby can leave you with little to no enthusiasm to worry about how you look. There is definitely a time when your appearance should be the last thing on your mind. But once you are through the worst of the sleep deprivation and overwhelm of a new baby, just a few minutes a day can make your husband feel better and will also make you feel more confident.

It doesn’t take much time and energy to maintain good hygiene. Simple things like freshening up shortly before you expect your husband to come home and putting on lipstick in a color closest to your skin tone can make you a welcome sight.

You don’t have to watch the passion in your marriage dwindle after your new baby is born. All it takes is a little effort and a lot of imagination to keep the fires burning. While you may presume that having a baby takes away a few sexy points away from you, you will be surprised to know that a new shape and a renewed spunk are extremely sexy to a man.

Salena Kulkarni is the creator of the ‘Secrets of Extraordinary New Moms’ program, which helps new moms feel energized, get back in shape, eliminate emotional overwhelm, and experience fulfillment in 30 days or less! Visit http://www.NewMommyMentor.com to get your FREE audio now.

 
Thursday, November 20th, 2008

I saw a look of resignation on my friend’s face as she said, “I don’t think I’m cut out to be a step mother.” There was a combination of sadness, frustration and resignation. She’d been married to her new husband for almost two years. The struggles started before their marriage, as it usually does when two people, with children from previous marriages decide to “blend families.” After all this time she saw no end in sight.

My friend has two daughters from her previous marriage. Her new husband has two daughters from his previous marriage…and a former wife who appeared to be determined to make things difficult. My friend has a former husband who lives out of state with his new family.

The four girls were all close in age and could possibly have been friends if they met at school, weren’t step siblings and didn’t have parents pulling at them.

Often, we the parents just need to get out of the way. Blended family issues can be resolved sooner and without causing added pain to the children if we allow space and time to work things out. I know from my own first hand meddling. I’ve detailed in my book, “You Used To Live In My House.”

My kids…back when they were kids, when my wife Louisa and I were newlyweds, didn’t need a new mom. Their mother was alive and well. Louisa didn’t want to be their mom. She knew her role and would have been happy to be a step mother. We all moved from Virginia to Colorado together so I thought she should be their new mom. All this while my kids really hadn’t given up hope that their mother and I might some how reconcile. We’d been apart for four years by then and each of the adults knew that wasn’t going to happen.

While I was living in Colorado my kids return to Virginia and to their mother,

I didn’t know what she was saying to them, about me. I didn’t learn that until three years later when they moved to Colorado. By then new roles weren’t so new and were accepted pretty easily. All the while, I knew that Louisa never criticized her sons’ father, even though he’d been virtually absent from their lives for several years.

Eleven years later Louisa received a Happy Step Mom Day card from Kelly on Mother’s Day. All of the ‘kids’ openly express their love for each of us these days, and have for some time. They all get along well with each other.

I can speak for myself and I believe it applies to many step parents, we are so determined that everyone will get a long and like each other immediately, that we make things more difficult than they need to be. Affection and assimilation cannot be forced upon our children. They have to find their own way and all we have to do is get out of the way.

Kids are resilient. I’ll over simplify it with an example of how they overcome the tales of an Easter Bunny and Santa Claus at very impressionable ages. If and when they see the new step parents showing affection and compromise it will be easier for them to move forward with their own feelings.

A friend of ours, Donna Lopez, provided the following testimonial to my book:

“After reading the book, “You Used To Live In My House” I began to think differently of blended families. I realized that it took much more love and faith and work that I ever imagined to sustain one household. I began to appreciate all those families around me that I once took for granted. This book allows us to see this family with such truth and pain and laughter! A recommended read!”

Obviously that’s flattering and I appreciate Donna’s comments. Her comments remain timely.

Don’t look now, but there are increasing numbers of blended families on the horizon. As more couples split and often after a child or two, the newly freed up mom or dad hooks up with that new ’soul mate.’ Bingo, there’s a new family and the new spouse may even have children of their own from a previous relationship.

How do I know? I’m reminded of a question I was asked when I spoke to a Rotary Club not long ago. “What prepared you to write your book?” My answer: “I lived it.”

Back in the day, circa 1981, I met Louisa H. Harrison. She’s been Louisa H. Coons since June 18, 1983 and on that day, my three children and her two children, blended into this new family. Oh, by the way…on the fateful day, they were ages 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.

We’re all the better for it now. And if you read through what I call ‘Tales of the dark side’ (AKA “You Used To Live In My House”) you’ll eventually get to the happiness we enjoy today. Being in a blended family doesn’t have to make any or all of the participants crazy. I’ve only scratched the surface of how I, and sometimes we, went about it the wrong way. If you get to know us we should give you hope.

R. Perry Coons
http://www.youusedtoliveinmyhouse.com

R. Perry Coons has thrown the door wide open with his narrative of the first 25 years of his relationship journey with his wife and family. He says, “If you get to know us, we should give you hope.”

His background is varied, as witnessed by the many personal and professional experiences he shares with his readers…husband, father, grandfather, runner and former radio dj, award winning shopping center marketing director, special events coordinator, entertainment manager, Realtor and self-described coffee achiever. He holds a copyright on a manuscript titled “Surrel Estate” and is working on a novel about a radio dj in the late 60’s. His working title is “Record Player.” Perry lives in Denver, Colorado with his wife Lousia and their Australian Cattle Dog.

A marriage relationship is probably on of the most important relationships in life. This is because through it, you can establish so much including new generations of society. A lot of emphasis has been put on the importance of marriage but, more and more couple are choosing to end their marital bliss. There are so many divorce cases worldwide. In the western world, more than half of marriages will end in separation or divorce. With these alarming statistics, it is vital to ensure that you realize the problem and get the right weapon to fight. Marriage is worth fighting for and, it will require commitment from both partners. One of the biggest problems that a marriage relationship can have is post-honey moon slump. Marriage is made of phases and, you are most happy during your honeymoon period and a short time after that. A period where you get to know the real character of your spouse is when the ordinary becomes a reality. Many couples start to regress.

People who used to talk to each other may begin to stay silent; their sexual life might not be exciting anymore and many other things. To avoid this slump in a marriage relationship, the following advice will suit you just right. The first thing is to avoid prolonged periods of anger. Christians will tell you that the bible says that you can get angry but avoid sin. In other words, it is human to get angry but, your reaction during your anger matters a lot. If you choose to give your partner the silent treatment, it can go on forever especially if your partner is also angry. Anger kills the mood and it can certainly destroy a marriage. Try compromise and even forgiveness. The truth is, most couples will do things that are not acceptable to their partners and, this shows that they are not perfect. If you are both willing to make your marriage work, you can easily do this by being patient, forgiving and understanding of each other.

The other thing that will help you avoid the slump in your marriage relationship is having the will never to withhold sex from your partner. If you want your man to be distant from you, try withholding sex. This does not only apply to men but also to women. Many couples punish each other this way but, in the end, they end up making things even worse. This does not mean that you need to overlook what your partner did wrong. If he or she is apologetic, give them a chance and be mature about it. Your bond will only grow as you make your every day experience worthwhile. Another tip that helps couples a lot is keeping away from activities that may draw you further from your spouse. The more people spend time apart both physically and emotionally, the more they are prone to focusing on other things that may not be of help to the relationship. Therefore, when you have free weekends, do not spend all your time watching football or at a church group, show your partner you care enough to sacrifice time to be companions of each other. Marriage has the potential to be a great haven for joy and happiness.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Marriage Relationship Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Marriage Relationship

 
Sunday, November 16th, 2008

Not everyone can just enter into marriage. You need to meet certain marriage requirements for you to be eligible to marry. Every state will have its own requirements but, there is no much difference when it comes to the most important things. First, there are legal requirements which are deemed as most important. If you do not meet the requirements put in place, you cannot get married. Some of those marriage requirements include the following. You must be of a certain legal age which is usually 18 to get married. This is for the purpose of a consent which can only be given by an adult. In many states, if the couple is not yet 18 and is almost that age, they can get married; with the consent of their parents. The other thing that is vital in many states is the fact that you must not be closely related to the person you are going to marry. For example, people cannot marry their mother, sister, brother, step mother and so on. These legal requirements are tailored to ensure that the standards of marriage are upheld. In many countries, going against this requirement is punishable by law. Another thing that is crucial is a good mental ability for both partners during the time of marriage.

The parties must understand what they are doing and know the consequences of all their actions. There are cases where couples are not sure of what they are doing and end up regretting afterwards. Another vital requirement is that couples must be sober during the time of marriage. This is to make sure that their judgment is not impaired in any way. Many people are not keen on this and, this is because many couples take their marriage day very seriously. Another requirement that will be found in many states and countries include, not being married to someone else. If you were married before, you need to have a certificate of divorce first. Many people have been caught getting married while they have not finalized their previous marriages. Some states require that couples about to get married go through blood tests. Again, this is only a requirement in a few states. In most places, your health issues are personal and private.

You will need to have a marriage license to make your marriage legal. In all states apart from California and Massachusetts, people of the same sex cannot get married. There are so many other requirements you need to know about. The best thing is to look for marriage requirements in your area and then follow them. Other requirements that might not be considered legal requirements are the readiness for marriage. You must be a person who is prepared to enter into wedlock and commit. This is probably one of the greatest requirements that every person should have. If you are getting married abroad, make a point of knowing what will be needed of you. The best way to enter into marital bliss is to meet the necessary criterion that has been set.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Marriage Requirements Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Marriage Requirements

 
Tuesday, November 4th, 2008

Are you and your spouse worried about what’s happening with your savings, your pension, your children’s college funds, or just staying employed? The Dow Jones is under 10,000 and European banks sound as shaky as the US banks. Do you find yourself fearful of your futures together? Do you find yourselves disagreeing with your partner about how to weather this financial meltdown? Do you find yourselves arguing because one of you makes more money and feels like they have more control over how money is spent? When money gets tight as a result of reduced income or increased mortgage payments and is combined with financial fears of the future, those old money arguments (my money vs. your money) may be causing you problems again. It is time for the two of you to have discussions again about money.

In his book Love & Money, Jeff Opdyke says: “It’s not really about the money. It’s about creating another level of intimacy in your relationship and bestowing trust on each other.” He further recommends joint accounts for couples which explicitly demonstrates the trust you have with your spouse.

When we keep secrets from our spouse about how much we make, how we spend money, or even how much money we have, this indicates a measure of distrust in the other person. When times are tough like now, you need to trust and have faith in your legal and romantic partner. All your money and all your debts are consider joint by the state. If you are not considering them joint, you are losing out. You lose resources that your partner brings to solving financial problems. You lose a feeling of honesty about yourself. And you lose some ability to manage your family finances in the best way possible.

If the two of you are not quite ready to combine your accounts, at least try to agree on and be committed to the following:

1. Agree to live within your means, so that expenses do not exceed your income.

2. Agree to open, honest communication about money.

3. Promise not to blame one another, judge each other, or keep secrets about money.

4. Be prepared to listen to your partner and understand their perspective.

You both need to be fully aware of the family gross and net income, to know where household (and individual) money goes each month and to know how much debt you have and the interest costs you are paying.

If you are unable to have a frank and open discussion about your money with your spouse, you may benefit from seeing a marriage counselor. The National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists (www.marriagefriendlytherapist.com) is a good resource for finding a therapist who is invested in helping you save your marriage. If you are unable to curb your spending, you might consider Debtors Anonymous, an organization for people trying to reduce debt and regain solvency. If you need a housing counselor or help with your mortgage, go to the web site of the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (www.hud.gov) and click on the Hope for Homeowners link.

It’s important to realize you are not alone. Many couples and families are struggling. Don’t let your marriage be a casualty of the worst financial disaster most of us have ever seen. You and your spouse are in this together. Get the help you need to keep your marriage stable and safe.

If you decide that you might need marriage counseling, check out my website, http://www.PamLipe.com My specialty is marriage and relationship counseling. For 20 years, I have been helping couples find the love and support they want in their marriages. My therapy practice serves the metropolitan area of Minneapolis/St.Paul, MN.