There is a misconception floating around the internet, within the walls of chatty homes, and gliding down the sidewalks alongside the misinformation highway — that misconception? You have to gain weight in order to build muscle.

Many people mistakenly believe that muscle weighs more than fat; this is simply untrue. This fallacy is destroyed by simple logic — ten pounds equals ten pounds, whether it is fat, muscle, gold, or water. To be fair, though — five cubic inches of muscle would weigh more than five cubic inches of fat; however, this does not mean that muscle weighs more than fat.

Some women, and men as well, are afraid of working out and building muscle because they think that they have to gain weight in order to do so. However, such fears are not founded on sound facts. They believe that if they head to the gym, lift weights, or even take part in anything more than a light cardiovascular activity, that they will inevitably increase their weight and “bulk up”.

Muscle building does not have to be all about “bulking up”; it can be all about strengthening your body and redefining the way that you look. Let’s say, for instance, that you are a male, five foot, nine inches tall and weigh one-hundred and seventy-five pounds. You’re happy with your weight, but you’re not happy with the way that your body looks. By focusing on adding definition to your build, rather than adding obscene amounts of muscle, you can maintain your same weight while completely redefining your shape.

The same can be said for women — if you’re five foot, four inches tall and weigh one-hundred and twenty-five pounds, your current weight may be acceptable to you, but you’re afraid to work out because you hear that ‘muscle weighs more than fat’. The same principal applies here — you can maintain your one-hundred and twenty-five pounds, build muscle, lower your body fat percentage, and still maintain your current weight, albeit with definition and strength rather than with the less-than-toned look that you may currently be sporting.

Bottom line — you do not need to worry about gaining weight when you work to burn fat and build muscle. By building muscle, you will be burning fat, as well as adding definition — and by exercising a little bit of control over your workout routine, you can maintain your current weight and proudly show it off on the new and improved you.

Build Muscle Up answers common muscle-building questions and shows individuals how to build muscles quickly. Learn about muscle weight gain and read reviews on the top muscle-building systems on our website.

A marriage relationship is probably on of the most important relationships in life. This is because through it, you can establish so much including new generations of society. A lot of emphasis has been put on the importance of marriage but, more and more couple are choosing to end their marital bliss. There are so many divorce cases worldwide. In the western world, more than half of marriages will end in separation or divorce. With these alarming statistics, it is vital to ensure that you realize the problem and get the right weapon to fight. Marriage is worth fighting for and, it will require commitment from both partners. One of the biggest problems that a marriage relationship can have is post-honey moon slump. Marriage is made of phases and, you are most happy during your honeymoon period and a short time after that. A period where you get to know the real character of your spouse is when the ordinary becomes a reality. Many couples start to regress.

People who used to talk to each other may begin to stay silent; their sexual life might not be exciting anymore and many other things. To avoid this slump in a marriage relationship, the following advice will suit you just right. The first thing is to avoid prolonged periods of anger. Christians will tell you that the bible says that you can get angry but avoid sin. In other words, it is human to get angry but, your reaction during your anger matters a lot. If you choose to give your partner the silent treatment, it can go on forever especially if your partner is also angry. Anger kills the mood and it can certainly destroy a marriage. Try compromise and even forgiveness. The truth is, most couples will do things that are not acceptable to their partners and, this shows that they are not perfect. If you are both willing to make your marriage work, you can easily do this by being patient, forgiving and understanding of each other.

The other thing that will help you avoid the slump in your marriage relationship is having the will never to withhold sex from your partner. If you want your man to be distant from you, try withholding sex. This does not only apply to men but also to women. Many couples punish each other this way but, in the end, they end up making things even worse. This does not mean that you need to overlook what your partner did wrong. If he or she is apologetic, give them a chance and be mature about it. Your bond will only grow as you make your every day experience worthwhile. Another tip that helps couples a lot is keeping away from activities that may draw you further from your spouse. The more people spend time apart both physically and emotionally, the more they are prone to focusing on other things that may not be of help to the relationship. Therefore, when you have free weekends, do not spend all your time watching football or at a church group, show your partner you care enough to sacrifice time to be companions of each other. Marriage has the potential to be a great haven for joy and happiness.

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What should you do if your wife wants out of your marriage? When a woman first seriously considers divorce she doesn’t arrive at this state of desperation by a process of calm deduction. She is simply reacting to the feeling that she “can’t take it anymore.” Sometimes your wife’s decision to leave you may be her way of trying to make you change, but more often it is a desperate effort to survive. She cannot endure anymore heartache, so she has reached out for the separation (or divorce) like a drowning man reaching out for a life jacket. How did this come about? Often it is due to the husband’s negligence in hurting their wives.

How Husbands Injure Their Wives

How may you as a husband inadvertently hurt your wife? Obviously it is when you do not love her as you should. This is shown in the following ways:

1. Not appreciating or acknowledging her.

2. Comparing her with other women

3. Taking her for granted (“Oh, never mind…she will understand” or “…I’m sure she won’t mind”)

4. Having to be right all the time

5. Making her feel vulnerable, alone or isolated, for example by not helping out at home or not standing up for her.

6. Destroying her self-esteem through harsh or rude words and actions that demean her.

7. Not paying enough attention to her, for example by giving more time and focus on someone or something else other than her.

8. Having intimate friendships with a member(s) of the opposite sex (it may or may not involve having an affair).

9. Being too demanding on her, for example by insisting that she be almost totally subservient to your every wish

10. Not taking the trouble to understand her.

Your wife’s main source of security or comfort is you, her husband. When you do any of the above things (or other similar ones), her sense of security and self-worth are severely threatened. The problem is most wives feel that they have communicated their hurt to their husbands but most husbands have not realized it. She felt like she was trying to get you to understand but you thought she was just being emotional or overreacting. My experience is that most women leave their husbands because they expected to feel loved, protected and cherished but their husbands unwittingly have sent the message that they are not. If this happens repeatedly over a long period of time, your wife will very likely walk out on you. In such a situation, how can we bring about reconciliation?

The Path to Reconciliation

Firstly, do not make excuses for your actions or words that have hurt her. It’s pointless to try to make her understand you. Simply acknowledge them and ask for her forgiveness. I know that it takes two to tango, meaning that she also probably contributed in some way to how you acted. But now is not the time to blame her. You have to ignore her faults for now. Be a man and take responsibility for your own mistakes, own up to it and humble yourself by sincerely apologizing. This will go a long way in softening her hardened heart.

Secondly, listen to her without correcting her. She doesn’t have to be proved right or shown to be wrong. Do not try to talk her out of her feelings or belittle her emotions and behavior. This will only make her more hurt and angry.

Thirdly, understand her hurt condition. Do so by empathizing with her. She just wants you to understand her feelings. Relay her feelings back to her. Comfort her and let her know you understand how she feels.

Fourthly, assure her of your commitment to her. Change whatever is wrong with your attitudes, actions or words. As her husband you have the responsibility to restore her sense of self-esteem, security, confidence and trust in you.

Lastly, put into action your commitments to her. What you have said you will do, make sure you actually do it.

Conclusion

I have always maintained that it is the husband who should primarily be responsible for ensuring a successful marriage relationship. Therefore if anything is wrong with your marriage, you as the husband must be pro-active in setting things right. Only by doing so will you be able to save your marriage.

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Most men in are in a subculture best described as emotionally retarded. No one teaches you the intricacies of getting over a breakup. “Walk it off and move on”, is the extent of relationship advice most men understand.

The following tips offer a logical, very male point of view to cope with a breakup.

Constructive Not Destructive Behavior

When someone tells you to be a man, they may imply “have a few beers”. It’ll ease your heart ache for one night, but has no beneficial impact on your life.

Engaging in destructive behavior is a fools errand. Over spending, getting drunk, hooking up with the first girl you meet offers only short term relief without offering a long term solution.

Turning to alcohol can also directly tarnish your image. Getting drunk only clouds your judgment enough to make unwise decisions. Have you ever called an ex girlfriend while you were drunk? It’s not pretty.

Focus your immediate energy on building your confidence. Engage activities where you excel and dominate. Get back to feeling in control and return to the status of alpha male.

Regaining confidence is vital to getting over a breakup.

Advice For Men If you Want Your Girlfriend Back

The pain of a breakup is difficult to mask especially for men. Confronting emotion is not second nature for most, so at a moment of weakness you may feel the urge to confess your true, inner most thoughts.

There’s nothing wrong with being emotional, just don’t show it to the girl who just dumped you. You want to maintain your dignity and confidence. Portray yourself as a worthy candidate for her affection.

Women want security, comfort and, to a lesser degree, protection. Groveling, begging, and crying on her shoulder will only gain her pity, not her love.

If you’ve recently separated and are having trouble getting over a breakup, the relationship guide for men by T.W. Jackson offers valuable insight. You’ll learn what you should and should not do after a breakup.

Videos, articles, and additional resources are also available at the Magic Of Making Up

If you’ve found this article, I have to assume that you either strongly suspect or know for sure that your spouse has had an affair. I know from experience that in all likelihood you’re experiencing a slew of overwhelming feelings (likely none of them positive) like betrayal, shock, severe hurt, and intense pain. You may also blame yourself, wonder how you could have been so naive, or blame your spouse entirely for his or her actions.  Every single one of these questions and responses are perfectly natural and normal.  You’ve been dealt a harsh blow and there is no right or wrong answer. The days following learning about an affair can go by in a daze or the blink of an eye and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or lost.  This article will provide tips and prompts to help you deal with these feelings and sort out / deal with the affair.

Don’t Blame Yourself, Beat Yourself Up Or Second Guess Yourself: Until an affair actually happened to me, I used to wonder how in the world a wife could blame herself for a husband’s affair.  I just did not get that at all.  But then, in the days after my husband’s affair (once my shock and rage at him wore off) I started to wonder where in the world I went wrong. How could I be so stupid? Was I not exciting enough? Pretty enough? Sexy enough? A good enough wife and mother? Did I not meet his needs or give him what he needed to be happy? Did he have to go elsewhere for excitement or satisfaction?

I have a friend who kind of went through this same sort of thing but in the opposite realm. When she found out about her husband’s affair – she completed overcompensated. She wanted this thing fixed immediately so she sucked it up and put all of the blame squarely on her shoulders and made drastic changes to herself and her bedroom.  The “crises mode” of the situation actually created a spark between her and her husband. Then, she hated herself because she felt that she was a “door mat” for just wanting her husband back. She asked herself where was her self respect? How could she allow him to do this? So she felt negatively about herself just as I did and her self esteem was hit as hard as mine was, but for different reasons.

Both of these reactions cause all sorts of internal bad feelings that doesn’t help you heal at all. Although these feelings are so perfectly normal and understandable it’s important to understand that no matter what you did or didn’t do – the affair is not your fault. It just is not.  Your spouse is the one who made the decision to be unfaithful.  Whether he / she is going through a mid life crises or he / she thinks their needs are not being met or he’s / she’s having self esteem issues, how they chose to deal with these problems was a decision that THEY made.

There are many spouses with issues who chose not to cheat but to instead communicate and work with their wives and husbands to work through these issues.

When You Are Ready, Evaluate And Understand Exactly Why The Infidelity Happened And Your Feelings On What You Want To Happen Now: I will always maintain that a spouse who cheats is the guilty party.  However, each marriage has certain factors that can sometimes contribute to infidelity.  This is not always the case. Sometimes it’s a simple self esteem issue or stress manifesting itself, but sometimes there can be issues in a marriage or communication style that contributes to infidelity. 

Whether you want to save the marriage or not, it can be helpful to hear (when you are calm and ready) just exactly why the infidelity happened.  However, you don’t have to take these reasons for face value.  Really listen to what your spouse is saying and honestly evaluate if these issues they’re bringing up have any merit or are valid. 

Sometimes, a spouse will just make excuses or refuse to take responsibility, but sometimes, you will actually get the truth as painful as it may be.  In my own case, my husband was not feeling heard in a highly stressful situation.  At first I thought this was all just a silly excuse, but when I evaluated more honestly and closely, I had to admit there was a few slivers of truth there.

What you chose to do with this information is completely up to you.  If you don’t want to save the marriage, at least it is a learning experience that you may revisit later in a future relationship.  If you do want to save the marriage, this information will be invaluable for you in the future so that you can address these things to make the marriage stronger and ensure the infidelity doesn’t reoccur.

Now, it’s important that you really take some honest time on your own when you can be calm and reflective (this may take time) to determine what you really want.  It may be that your spouse has been a good one up until this point and you still love him or her and ultimately want to save the marriage. Or, it may be that a pattern of betrayal and dishonestly is emerging that is a deal breaker for you.  Either answer is valid and OK.

Define what is your best case scenario that, if you could achieve it, would help you heal. For some, this is to just pick up and move on by yourself, without letting this one event ruin the rest of your life.  For some, it’s to get the marriage back to a loving and trusting place. Whatever your “best case scenario” is, always promise yourself that you will keep this in mind from this point forward.

Because if ultimately you want to save your marriage, then it doesn’t make sense to continue to lash out at your spouse and continue to punish them months and months after they’ve said they’re sorry or allow an unhealthy obsession with everything having to do with the affair (or the other woman) to continue to sabotage your marriage and your happiness. If being happily married and at peace again is really your goal, try your best not to engage in behaviors that are going to keep this from happening (while still being true to yourself.)

Don’t Hesitate To Get Help To Deal With The Infidelity If You Need It: An affair can be heavy burden on the party who was cheated on. Your self esteem is likely going to take a huge hit. Although it may feel weird to do so, take this time to focus on yourself and your extreme self care.  See friends. Pursue those things you love.  Do what makes you happy.  This will make you feel better and will show both you and your spouse that you have enough self respect that this isn’t going to beat you. 

You may ultimately need some to help with your healing and with dealing with the infidelity.  In my own experience, although I wanted to save my marriage and to forgive my husband, I was stuck.  I would feel forgiving toward him one second and rage at him the next.  He was patient with me and I was trying to be patient with him, but we couldn’t move forward. 

It’s normal to have difficulty in the early days after learning about the affair, but if you get stuck and can’t move past it, don’t hesitate to get the help you need. There is no shame in it.  Ultimately, I needed out side resources to get me out of this cycle that was just holding me back.  Once I had this, I was able to slowly move forward and today, although it took some work and effort, I can honestly say it hasn’t beaten me in the least.

Dealing with the infidelity in my marriage was very difficult for a time. With a lot hard work and effort, our marriage and my self esteem recovered. I now know myself, my husband and my marriage much more intimately. I no longer worry that he is going to cheat again. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://saving-my-marriage-after-the-affair.blogspot.com/

Having a panic attack can be a frightening experience. I’ve had panic attacks myself for years. There are some tips though that helped me overcome my attacks most of the time. While panic attacks are certainly frightening, they are physically harmless. All that happens during an attack is triggered by your thoughts, mostly subconsciously.

The following tips will help you during a panic attack. Please remember though that these tips won’t help you overcome the underlying disorder; they will only help you regain control when having a panic attack. You should still consult a psychotherapist or buy a professional self-help course to work on the causes – the triggers that cause your panic attacks.

Tips for Panic Attacks:

• Distract yourself: Count down from 1000 or solve math problems to occupy your mind. Don’t focus on the panic attack and don’t try to fight your way out of it. This will only make it last longer due to an increased level of adrenaline.
• Splash your face with cool water.
• Listen to relaxing music while telling yourself that those attacks have never hurt you in the past and won’t hurt you this time either. Tell yourself those symptoms you feel are just caused by your thoughts and that they are not medically harmful.
• Watch TV to distract yourself.
• If you are breathing rapidly, breathe slowly in and out of a paper bag. You are probably over-breathing and taking in too much oxygen, which can make you feel dizzy.
• Talk to someone (or phone someone). If the other person knows about your panic attacks tell them you are just having one and tell them what you are feeling right now.
• Don’t sit down, do something physical.

These simple tips for panic attacks helped me many times, and I hope they will help you, too. Always remember those symptoms you feel are just caused by your brain and are not medically harmful or dangerous.

Panic attacks are more common than you might think. Fortunately, there are several professional self-help courses that can help you overcome your panic attacks. Click here for more information on treating panic attacks at home.

Can you feel when your horse’s hind legs are on the ground? This is an important skill to develop because you want to time your leg aids so that you give them when your horse’s hind leg is on the ground…specifically just as it’s getting ready to push off. That’s the only time you can influence a hind leg.

I feel where the hind feet are by business my horse’s hips. When a particular hind foot is on the ground, my horse’s hip is higher. It feels like my corresponding collection is being pushed forward.

Here are some tips to help you learn to feel when a hind leg is on the ground:

1. As you walk, close your eyes. Focus, let’s say, on your inside seatbone. Some people describe the feeling as their seatbone being “higher”. Others describe it as feeling like it’s being “pushed forward”. Each time you feel your seatbone being pushed forward or higher, say the words. “Now, Now, Now”. That way you can get into the timing of when that hind leg is on the ground.

2. Ask a friend to call out “Now” each time a certain hind foot is on the ground. Coordinate what your friend says with the feeling under your seat.

3. If you’re working alone, sneak a peek at your horse’s shadow or a mirror if you have one. Check that you’re feeling the right thing by calling out the footfall and then looking at the shadow or mirror to see if you’re right.

4. Watch other horses and riders and notice where both the horse’s hip and the rider’s hip are when a particular hind leg is on the ground.

5. Teach yourself how to feel when the inside hind leg is on the ground in the canter by watching your horse’s mane. It flips up during the second beat of the canter when the inside hind leg is on the ground. Say “Now” each time you see it flip up. Then you can coordinate what you’re seeing and the word “Now” with what you’re feeling under your seat.

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