Posts Tagged ‘friends’
Friday, December 12th, 2008
A wedding would not be completely possible and, most of all, successful if not for some ardent supporters. One of them will be your bridesmaids. They are more than just a bunch of girls who will walk down the aisle with you. They are there to offer you support during your wedding ceremony. That is why, it is only right that you think about getting bridesmaid gifts.
- Bridesmaid bags. What kind of lady does not easily fall in love with a bag? Surely, whether you are having a tote, handbag, shoulder bag, or even a traveling one as your bridesmaid presents, it will surely be appreciated by the girls. You can also add some personal touch to your bridesmaid gifts by perhaps using their names as brand tags.
- Bridesmaid jewelry. Diamonds will always be a girl’s best friend. If you have a very small number of bridesmaids and they are all special to you, you can purchase even just a small-carat diamond earring or necklace. However, if you are on a tight budget, any funky or lady jewelry will still be suitable.
- Bridesmaid apparel and shirts. It would be fun seeing “Maid of Honor” all across the tees and blouses of your girlfriends. Your bridesmaid apparel does not have to be costly. You can just purchase plain-colored shirts and ask someone to print the words all across them. It does not only make a very unique gift, but it is also extremely useful to your bridesmaids.
Nevertheless, if you want to be on the safe side, you can simply ask them about their ideal bridesmaid gifts. This way, you are sure that your presents will be appreciated and suit their personality and preference. You can also have a good idea on how much you would likely spend for presents to your bridesmaids.
Regina Watson is the owner of Elegant Wedding Impressions She sells a variety of wedding favors at affordable prices. Elegant Wedding Favors carries cheap wedding favors and unique wedding favors. At Elegant Wedding Impressions you will be able to find a variety of quality wedding accessories such as guest books, Unity Candles, toasting flutes, wedding decorations, ring pillows, bridesmaid gifts and groomsmen gifts.
Tags: Best Friend, Books, bra, brides, Budget, Cheap, cia, dea, diamonds, fall, Fri, friends, gifts, girl, girlfriend, girlfriends, girls, heir, impressions, jewelry, lace, lady, love, lows, Mai, men, name, names, Personal, personal touch, personality, presents, safe side, shirts, shopping, shopping list, Smal, Success, Target, Tight Budget, Travel, variety, watson, wedding
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Monday, November 24th, 2008
Is your long distance relationship thriving…or just surviving? Are you madly in love with someone but cannot find a way to live in the same city? How do you support your relationship when you have very real physical distance between you?
I have seen couples fall apart because they could not sustain their relationship due to the distance between them, and I have seen others who find creative, romantic ways to keep the love alive. I know people who had a long distance relationship for years, complained about it, and finally got together in the same city, only to break up months after they lived near each other. Some people have long distance relationships and like it that way. And some couples don’t like the distance at all, but manage to still stay close.
How do they do that? Here are some of the challenges that exist when you have an out-of-town romance, and what you can do about it:
* Commitment
If you have just met, take care to spend enough time to truly know each other before you get in a committed relationship. There is no substitute for face-to-face communication. You need to meet each other’s friends, family, and co-workers. You need to experience good times and stressful ones together. Once you do, decide what your expectations are for your relationship. Be open and honest. How much commitment are you willing to give each other? This clarity is important to minimize misunderstanding.
* Trust
Once you can determine if you are both on the same level of investment in the relationship, trust and honesty become paramount to the success of your future. These elements are at the heart of all lasting unions, but distance challenges the security of your connection.
* Communication
Be dedicated to the way you stay in touch. Phone calls, emails, and chatting on-line are important. Set up a regular time to visit with each other, building a routine. But add some surprises such as, homemade videos, collected poems put in a special book, or self-decorated greeting cards. Stretch your imagination further with a lock of your hair in a unique box; an absorbent piece of cloth with your perfume or after-shave scent; your favorite flower, pressed and framed. If the other person does not call often, make time for you, or send appropriate communications, do not hang on. Let go and get on with your life.
* Plan your reunions.
Decide where to meet, how often, and how you want to spend the time when you see each other. Be very clear about what your expectations are for the time you have together. This is where many relationships break down. His idea of the perfect weekend could be sitting in front of the TV with her at his side, watching football. Hers could be visiting friends, attending a romantic movie, and later sharing secrets of the heart. He may expect her to cook his dinner; she may expect him to take her out. We all have old scripts that play out in new relationships, and unless we communicate what we want from each other, this is a recipe for misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Finally, decide how long you want to live apart, and set a date for the move. It is true that when one of you moves to the other one’s town, you are taking a risk. However, most people say that even when it doesn’t work out, at least they gave love a chance. They didn’t want to spend their life longing to be somewhere else, continuing–a long distance relationship.
Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
Tags: bet, cards, challenges, cia, Coach, columnist, Coul, couples, creative, Dating, dea, ears, element, Elements, face, fall, feelings, Fri, friends, heart, heir, home, honesty, how to, imagination, Insight, investment, letter, lot, love, Mai, mail, man, meet, men, met, mmi, movie, old, People, perfume, phone call, phone calls, Rate, relationship, relationships, reunions, risk, single, singles, sit, Stress, Success, sun, surprise, taking a risk, Target, tips, work, Yea
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Thursday, November 20th, 2008
I saw a look of resignation on my friend’s face as she said, “I don’t think I’m cut out to be a step mother.” There was a combination of sadness, frustration and resignation. She’d been married to her new husband for almost two years. The struggles started before their marriage, as it usually does when two people, with children from previous marriages decide to “blend families.” After all this time she saw no end in sight.
My friend has two daughters from her previous marriage. Her new husband has two daughters from his previous marriage…and a former wife who appeared to be determined to make things difficult. My friend has a former husband who lives out of state with his new family.
The four girls were all close in age and could possibly have been friends if they met at school, weren’t step siblings and didn’t have parents pulling at them.
Often, we the parents just need to get out of the way. Blended family issues can be resolved sooner and without causing added pain to the children if we allow space and time to work things out. I know from my own first hand meddling. I’ve detailed in my book, “You Used To Live In My House.”
My kids…back when they were kids, when my wife Louisa and I were newlyweds, didn’t need a new mom. Their mother was alive and well. Louisa didn’t want to be their mom. She knew her role and would have been happy to be a step mother. We all moved from Virginia to Colorado together so I thought she should be their new mom. All this while my kids really hadn’t given up hope that their mother and I might some how reconcile. We’d been apart for four years by then and each of the adults knew that wasn’t going to happen.
While I was living in Colorado my kids return to Virginia and to their mother,
I didn’t know what she was saying to them, about me. I didn’t learn that until three years later when they moved to Colorado. By then new roles weren’t so new and were accepted pretty easily. All the while, I knew that Louisa never criticized her sons’ father, even though he’d been virtually absent from their lives for several years.
Eleven years later Louisa received a Happy Step Mom Day card from Kelly on Mother’s Day. All of the ‘kids’ openly express their love for each of us these days, and have for some time. They all get along well with each other.
I can speak for myself and I believe it applies to many step parents, we are so determined that everyone will get a long and like each other immediately, that we make things more difficult than they need to be. Affection and assimilation cannot be forced upon our children. They have to find their own way and all we have to do is get out of the way.
Kids are resilient. I’ll over simplify it with an example of how they overcome the tales of an Easter Bunny and Santa Claus at very impressionable ages. If and when they see the new step parents showing affection and compromise it will be easier for them to move forward with their own feelings.
A friend of ours, Donna Lopez, provided the following testimonial to my book:
“After reading the book, “You Used To Live In My House” I began to think differently of blended families. I realized that it took much more love and faith and work that I ever imagined to sustain one household. I began to appreciate all those families around me that I once took for granted. This book allows us to see this family with such truth and pain and laughter! A recommended read!”
Obviously that’s flattering and I appreciate Donna’s comments. Her comments remain timely.
Don’t look now, but there are increasing numbers of blended families on the horizon. As more couples split and often after a child or two, the newly freed up mom or dad hooks up with that new ‘soul mate.’ Bingo, there’s a new family and the new spouse may even have children of their own from a previous relationship.
How do I know? I’m reminded of a question I was asked when I spoke to a Rotary Club not long ago. “What prepared you to write your book?” My answer: “I lived it.”
Back in the day, circa 1981, I met Louisa H. Harrison. She’s been Louisa H. Coons since June 18, 1983 and on that day, my three children and her two children, blended into this new family. Oh, by the way…on the fateful day, they were ages 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.
We’re all the better for it now. And if you read through what I call ‘Tales of the dark side’ (AKA “You Used To Live In My House”) you’ll eventually get to the happiness we enjoy today. Being in a blended family doesn’t have to make any or all of the participants crazy. I’ve only scratched the surface of how I, and sometimes we, went about it the wrong way. If you get to know us we should give you hope.
R. Perry Coons
http://www.youusedtoliveinmyhouse.com
R. Perry Coons has thrown the door wide open with his narrative of the first 25 years of his relationship journey with his wife and family. He says, “If you get to know us, we should give you hope.”
His background is varied, as witnessed by the many personal and professional experiences he shares with his readers…husband, father, grandfather, runner and former radio dj, award winning shopping center marketing director, special events coordinator, entertainment manager, Realtor and self-described coffee achiever. He holds a copyright on a manuscript titled “Surrel Estate” and is working on a novel about a radio dj in the late 60′s. His working title is “Record Player.” Perry lives in Denver, Colorado with his wife Lousia and their Australian Cattle Dog.
Tags: backgroun, bet, bett, cia, Comments, compromise, Coul, couples, Diffe, E Book, ears, experiences, face, faith, fate, feelings, Fre, Fri, friends, frustration, girl, girls, Hadn, heir, household, inc, Irs, journey, laugh, love, lows, Mai, man, market, marketing, marriage, married, men, met, mom, old, pants, parents, People, Personal, profession, promis, promise, Rate, realtor, relationship, rent, santa claus, scratch, shopping, Soul Mate, step parents, Target, testimonial, truth, witness, work, writ, Wrong Way, Yea
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Monday, November 17th, 2008
A lot of the time when you hear of someone getting divorced, they have an attorney – it’s really not necessary. The reason most people get an attorney is to ensure that they are protected and that the divorce is going to be fair for them as well as their spouse. However, attorneys are expensive and if you can avoid hiring one, you can save thousands of dollars. Here are some tips on how to get a divorce without hiring an attorney.
Do It Yourself
You can easily file for divorce on your own without the aid of an attorney. It’s as easy as filling out the necessary forms. You can obtain forms from your local civil court division. Just make sure you have the correct forms for your state so you won’t experience any problems or delays with your divorce proceedings. Another thing you want to check on is the filing fees. Although they are pretty inexpensive, you want to be prepared so that things go smoothly when you go to file your papers.
Have a Paralegal Draft Up the Forms for You
Another great way to get a divorce without an attorney is to hire a paralegal or legal assistant to draft up the forms for you. This is a great option if you feel uncomfortable filling out and filing the forms yourself. He or she can ensure that you’ve covered everything and make the chances of a problem or hitch very low. You can ask friends for a recommendation or check your local phone book. If you use the latter method, call around and make sure you’re comfortable with the paralegal before you hire them to work for you. Also, keep in mind that the person you’re hiring isn’t able to render legal advice as this requires specific legal training.
Seek a Mediator
Mediation is another option for those who don’t want to hire an attorney. With mediation, you and your spouse are able to calmly and effectively decide who gets what and how the division of property and assets will work. Because you will need a trained mediator to help you sort things out, even the most bitter and hostile of spouses can work together to come up with a solution that will work for both parties. You won’t need a lawyer and you can avoid the circus of courtroom litigation. An added bonus is the fact that you decide where your stuff goes rather than some judge who knows very little about you and your situation. Mediation is a great way to get divorced without an attorney.
By using these methods, you are able to seek a divorce without the help of an attorney. Not only can this save you thousands of dollars but you have the potential of saving yourself a lot of heartache as well. Good luck.
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Tags: bonus, courtroom, divorce, Dollar, E Book, Fre, Fri, friends, good luck, heart, heck, heir, how to, Jud, large, lawyer, legal advice, lot, mediation, men, met, paralegal, People, phone book, Proble, proceedings, Prope, reason, sets, sit, Stu, Stuff, Target, thousands of dollars, tips, train, Training, work
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Saturday, November 15th, 2008
What should you do if your wife wants out of your marriage? When a woman first seriously considers divorce she doesn’t arrive at this state of desperation by a process of calm deduction. She is simply reacting to the feeling that she “can’t take it anymore.” Sometimes your wife’s decision to leave you may be her way of trying to make you change, but more often it is a desperate effort to survive. She cannot endure anymore heartache, so she has reached out for the separation (or divorce) like a drowning man reaching out for a life jacket. How did this come about? Often it is due to the husband’s negligence in hurting their wives.
How Husbands Injure Their Wives
How may you as a husband inadvertently hurt your wife? Obviously it is when you do not love her as you should. This is shown in the following ways:
1. Not appreciating or acknowledging her.
2. Comparing her with other women
3. Taking her for granted (“Oh, never mind…she will understand” or “…I’m sure she won’t mind”)
4. Having to be right all the time
5. Making her feel vulnerable, alone or isolated, for example by not helping out at home or not standing up for her.
6. Destroying her self-esteem through harsh or rude words and actions that demean her.
7. Not paying enough attention to her, for example by giving more time and focus on someone or something else other than her.
8. Having intimate friendships with a member(s) of the opposite sex (it may or may not involve having an affair).
9. Being too demanding on her, for example by insisting that she be almost totally subservient to your every wish
10. Not taking the trouble to understand her.
Your wife’s main source of security or comfort is you, her husband. When you do any of the above things (or other similar ones), her sense of security and self-worth are severely threatened. The problem is most wives feel that they have communicated their hurt to their husbands but most husbands have not realized it. She felt like she was trying to get you to understand but you thought she was just being emotional or overreacting. My experience is that most women leave their husbands because they expected to feel loved, protected and cherished but their husbands unwittingly have sent the message that they are not. If this happens repeatedly over a long period of time, your wife will very likely walk out on you. In such a situation, how can we bring about reconciliation?
The Path to Reconciliation
Firstly, do not make excuses for your actions or words that have hurt her. It’s pointless to try to make her understand you. Simply acknowledge them and ask for her forgiveness. I know that it takes two to tango, meaning that she also probably contributed in some way to how you acted. But now is not the time to blame her. You have to ignore her faults for now. Be a man and take responsibility for your own mistakes, own up to it and humble yourself by sincerely apologizing. This will go a long way in softening her hardened heart.
Secondly, listen to her without correcting her. She doesn’t have to be proved right or shown to be wrong. Do not try to talk her out of her feelings or belittle her emotions and behavior. This will only make her more hurt and angry.
Thirdly, understand her hurt condition. Do so by empathizing with her. She just wants you to understand her feelings. Relay her feelings back to her. Comfort her and let her know you understand how she feels.
Fourthly, assure her of your commitment to her. Change whatever is wrong with your attitudes, actions or words. As her husband you have the responsibility to restore her sense of self-esteem, security, confidence and trust in you.
Lastly, put into action your commitments to her. What you have said you will do, make sure you actually do it.
Conclusion
I have always maintained that it is the husband who should primarily be responsible for ensuring a successful marriage relationship. Therefore if anything is wrong with your marriage, you as the husband must be pro-active in setting things right. Only by doing so will you be able to save your marriage.
Discover the steps anyone can take to save your marriage in TWO FREE reports, “Practical Tips on Improving Your Marriage” and “Above Life’s Turmoil”. Visit http://www.savemarriagestoday.com These reports contain time-tested and proven ways to enhance your relationship with your partner.
Tags: cia, commitments, conclusion, confidence, desperation, discover, divorce, Emoti, emotion, emotions, empathizing, Excuse, feelings, firstly, focus, for her, Fre, Fri, friends, heart, heir, home, inc, intima, intimate, Irs, knowledge, love, lpi, Mai, man, marriage, meaning, men, met, mistake, mmi, period of time, Proble, Rate, relationship, sit, stake, store, Success, t pay, Target, tips, turmoil, woman, women
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Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
Break ups are an unfortunate part of life for every woman. We’ve all had our hearts broken at times by a man we were head over heels crazy for. In most instances we take the break up in stride. We may mourn the loss for a few days, share our sorrows with our girlfriends and then we move on. It’s not always that easy though. Some relationships are too important to get over that quickly. In fact, you may feel that your ex boyfriend was actually your one true love. If you do happen to feel that way, you’ve likely thought about winning him back. The easy answer to the question of how do you get a guy back is be emotionally strong.
Men expect women to fall apart in stressful emotional situations. After a split they assume that the woman, if she’s still in love, will beg for another chance. You may have actually been tempted to do just that. It’s an easy trap to fall into. Your emotions take control and before you know it you’re calling your ex and crying on the phone to him. This is not going to help you in anyway achieve the goal of reuniting with your ex. Behavior like this can actually cause him to run as far away from you as he possibly can. You really want to put on a brave face. This will really help you get a guy back because he’ll see that you’re mature and can keep yourself together.
Another thing that will really help you get a guy back is to agree with him when he says you need time apart. Don’t help him pack his suitcase and don’t hold the door open for him, but agree that a split may be good for you both. Again, men jump to the conclusion that if a woman loves them, she’ll fight tooth and nail to keep them. Men want to feel that, it gives them some reassurance about how you feel. If you do the exact opposite and welcome the break he’s going to go into a tailspin. Many relationships have actually been fixed just because the man who first mentioned the idea of a break up got worried when his girlfriend agreed to it. Act as if you’re okay with the break up and he’ll start to think about what he can be doing to win you back.
It’s obviously important that you think through each and every move when you are trying to get your boyfriend back. Most women have no idea that everything they say and do after a break up potentially impacts the chance of a reunion. To find out more about what steps are necessary to get your boyfriend back, including what not to do, visit this helpful site!
There are proven and effective ways to win back your ex boyfriend. Don’t let your emotions guide you through this difficult time. Find out what you need to be doing to ensure you get him back forever.
Tags: boy, bra, brave face, break ups, conclusion, Control, dea, Emoti, emotion, emotional situations, emotions, face, fall, few days, Fri, friends, girl, girlfriend, girlfriends, head over heels, heart, hearts, inc, instances, Irs, love, man, mature, men, old, reassurance, relationship, relationships, sit, squ, squidoo, Stress, strong men, suitcase, tailspin, Target, tooth and nail, true love, ups, woman, women
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Tuesday, October 14th, 2008
All About Pregnancy Announcements Cards – Spread the Great News and Job!
Pregnancy announcements are a great way to reach all of the friends and relatives of a mother-to-be. They will appreciate hearing directly from the parents-to-be, rather than hearing word of mouth about a pregnancy. If possible, pregnancy cards should be sent before any baby shower invitations are sent. As a general rule, expecting parents should try to send personalized pregnancy announcements around the 10th or 12th weeks of pregnancy. After all, the exciting news is bound to spread like wildfire, and the proud parents-to-be should try to tell as many people as possible directly!
The styles and trends in custom cards are similar to birth announcements. Modern designs, cute images of baby items or a pregnant mom silhouette are all popular. Stork announcements are also a charming option. If the cards are sent after the parents know the gender of the baby, printable pregnancy announcements can be geared for a boy or girl as appropriate. If parents know the nursery room theme or colors, the announcement can give the recipients a sneak peak of the nursery. This kind of personalization is great for the mother-to-be that has many out of town friends and relatives. The more the recipient feels they know about the new baby, the more special they feel.
By sending pregnancy announcement cards, parents are also saving themselves some time when they get to the announcement of the baby. The name and address list for the mailings should be virtually the same as the list for the printed birth announcements. Organization is key after the baby is born so already having a list of recipients from the announcements can be sleep saving! Parents will also get out all of the kinks with the cards – they will know how many announcement cards they need to send, are guaranteed not to miss anyone important (they will find out who they missed quite quickly if they miss them with the announcement!) and they will have a system down to stuff envelopes and address announcements quickly.
The joy of pregnancy should be shared with all of the family and friends. Pregnancy cards can be a way to show gratitude, keep in touch with distant loved ones and tell them a little bit about the family that is expecting the baby. The announcements usually indicate the expected birth date, but if parents choose to only announce the month, season or major holiday around the expected date, that is also a nice option. If it is not the first child, cards can also be worded with the siblings-to-be announcing the expected baby. Often times the older siblings are very excited about their new baby sibling and feel extra special if their names are on the announcement cards.
Whatever style pregnancy card is used, the important thing to remember is the joy and excitement of the new baby. Sharing that joy by an announcement spreads the joy around! Some websites have lots of unique pregnancy announcements wording verses, wording ideas and sayings to get your cards just the way you want.
About the Author: Sarah Porter is Author of several articles including About Pregnancy Announcements, Unique Pregnancy Announcements, Affordable Pregnancy Announcements Cards and more.
Tags: baby, boy, boy or girl, cards, cia, cute, dea, dress, E Mail, excitement, family and friends, Fri, friends, gender, girl, Gratitude, heir, images, inc, invitation, Invitations, Irs, Job, little bit, lot, love, Mai, mail, man, many people, men, mom, name, names, old, older, parents, People, Personal, proud parents, recipient, Relatives, rent, signs, sit, sleep, Stu, Stuff, style, Target, trend, trends, word of mouth
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Sunday, October 12th, 2008
If you’ve found this article, I have to assume that you either strongly suspect or know for sure that your spouse has had an affair. I know from experience that in all likelihood you’re experiencing a slew of overwhelming feelings (likely none of them positive) like betrayal, shock, severe hurt, and intense pain. You may also blame yourself, wonder how you could have been so naive, or blame your spouse entirely for his or her actions. Every single one of these questions and responses are perfectly natural and normal. You’ve been dealt a harsh blow and there is no right or wrong answer. The days following learning about an affair can go by in a daze or the blink of an eye and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or lost. This article will provide tips and prompts to help you deal with these feelings and sort out / deal with the affair.
Don’t Blame Yourself, Beat Yourself Up Or Second Guess Yourself: Until an affair actually happened to me, I used to wonder how in the world a wife could blame herself for a husband’s affair. I just did not get that at all. But then, in the days after my husband’s affair (once my shock and rage at him wore off) I started to wonder where in the world I went wrong. How could I be so stupid? Was I not exciting enough? Pretty enough? Sexy enough? A good enough wife and mother? Did I not meet his needs or give him what he needed to be happy? Did he have to go elsewhere for excitement or satisfaction?
I have a friend who kind of went through this same sort of thing but in the opposite realm. When she found out about her husband’s affair – she completed overcompensated. She wanted this thing fixed immediately so she sucked it up and put all of the blame squarely on her shoulders and made drastic changes to herself and her bedroom. The “crises mode” of the situation actually created a spark between her and her husband. Then, she hated herself because she felt that she was a “door mat” for just wanting her husband back. She asked herself where was her self respect? How could she allow him to do this? So she felt negatively about herself just as I did and her self esteem was hit as hard as mine was, but for different reasons.
Both of these reactions cause all sorts of internal bad feelings that doesn’t help you heal at all. Although these feelings are so perfectly normal and understandable it’s important to understand that no matter what you did or didn’t do – the affair is not your fault. It just is not. Your spouse is the one who made the decision to be unfaithful. Whether he / she is going through a mid life crises or he / she thinks their needs are not being met or he’s / she’s having self esteem issues, how they chose to deal with these problems was a decision that THEY made.
There are many spouses with issues who chose not to cheat but to instead communicate and work with their wives and husbands to work through these issues.
When You Are Ready, Evaluate And Understand Exactly Why The Infidelity Happened And Your Feelings On What You Want To Happen Now: I will always maintain that a spouse who cheats is the guilty party. However, each marriage has certain factors that can sometimes contribute to infidelity. This is not always the case. Sometimes it’s a simple self esteem issue or stress manifesting itself, but sometimes there can be issues in a marriage or communication style that contributes to infidelity.
Whether you want to save the marriage or not, it can be helpful to hear (when you are calm and ready) just exactly why the infidelity happened. However, you don’t have to take these reasons for face value. Really listen to what your spouse is saying and honestly evaluate if these issues they’re bringing up have any merit or are valid.
Sometimes, a spouse will just make excuses or refuse to take responsibility, but sometimes, you will actually get the truth as painful as it may be. In my own case, my husband was not feeling heard in a highly stressful situation. At first I thought this was all just a silly excuse, but when I evaluated more honestly and closely, I had to admit there was a few slivers of truth there.
What you chose to do with this information is completely up to you. If you don’t want to save the marriage, at least it is a learning experience that you may revisit later in a future relationship. If you do want to save the marriage, this information will be invaluable for you in the future so that you can address these things to make the marriage stronger and ensure the infidelity doesn’t reoccur.
Now, it’s important that you really take some honest time on your own when you can be calm and reflective (this may take time) to determine what you really want. It may be that your spouse has been a good one up until this point and you still love him or her and ultimately want to save the marriage. Or, it may be that a pattern of betrayal and dishonestly is emerging that is a deal breaker for you. Either answer is valid and OK.
Define what is your best case scenario that, if you could achieve it, would help you heal. For some, this is to just pick up and move on by yourself, without letting this one event ruin the rest of your life. For some, it’s to get the marriage back to a loving and trusting place. Whatever your “best case scenario” is, always promise yourself that you will keep this in mind from this point forward.
Because if ultimately you want to save your marriage, then it doesn’t make sense to continue to lash out at your spouse and continue to punish them months and months after they’ve said they’re sorry or allow an unhealthy obsession with everything having to do with the affair (or the other woman) to continue to sabotage your marriage and your happiness. If being happily married and at peace again is really your goal, try your best not to engage in behaviors that are going to keep this from happening (while still being true to yourself.)
Don’t Hesitate To Get Help To Deal With The Infidelity If You Need It: An affair can be heavy burden on the party who was cheated on. Your self esteem is likely going to take a huge hit. Although it may feel weird to do so, take this time to focus on yourself and your extreme self care. See friends. Pursue those things you love. Do what makes you happy. This will make you feel better and will show both you and your spouse that you have enough self respect that this isn’t going to beat you.
You may ultimately need some to help with your healing and with dealing with the infidelity. In my own experience, although I wanted to save my marriage and to forgive my husband, I was stuck. I would feel forgiving toward him one second and rage at him the next. He was patient with me and I was trying to be patient with him, but we couldn’t move forward.
It’s normal to have difficulty in the early days after learning about the affair, but if you get stuck and can’t move past it, don’t hesitate to get the help you need. There is no shame in it. Ultimately, I needed out side resources to get me out of this cycle that was just holding me back. Once I had this, I was able to slowly move forward and today, although it took some work and effort, I can honestly say it hasn’t beaten me in the least.
Dealing with the infidelity in my marriage was very difficult for a time. With a lot hard work and effort, our marriage and my self esteem recovered. I now know myself, my husband and my marriage much more intimately. I no longer worry that he is going to cheat again. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://saving-my-marriage-after-the-affair.blogspot.com/
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Monday, April 7th, 2008
Personalized Handbags and Purses
It is usually very hard to buy for a women. Particularly if you are in the situation of being a man with a woman friend. You do not want your gift to send the wrong message but you do not want it to be insipid and cheap either. If you need to purchase a gift for a woman and your tearing you hair out as to what, why not try a personalized handbag. Handbags are the perfect gift for nearly any occasion. Women tend to love them and if they already have one, there is no problem in getting them another. Remember, you can never have too many bags, gloves or shoes. By buying a personalized handbag, that special lady will feel all the more loved. If this woman is just a friend then purses are a safe gift to give in this situation as well.
Personalized hand bags come in all shapes and styles. For practical use, you may consider a nylon handbag with the person’s 3 initials embroidered on the front. These are great for everyday use and usually have several compartments for all of the objects women tend to carry with them. Personalized tote bags are also a great idea. Their large size makes them perfect for those days out shopping or traveling. They are tough, durable as well as lovely looking and elegant. Again, initials or names are the perfect added touch for this gift.
Personalized gifts can be fun, but also show that you put some thought into the person. Handbags lend them selves perfectly to personalization. They are also the perfect gift for wives, girlfriends, good friends and mothers. If you are struggling for a good present for an approaching birthday or other special occasion, consider a personalized handbag. The gift and your idea will be greatly valued.
Feel free to check out coach handbags and purses website to find handbags and purses for every occasion.
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