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There are many warning signs of an affair in a marriage and if you suspect that your spouse is being unfaithful, you’ll want proof. People embroiled in adulterous affairs often think they are too clever to be caught, but everyone lets things slip at some point. If you are married to someone who you think may have taken on a lover outside of your marriage, look for these signals that indicate that they are no longer being faithful to you.

One of the most obvious signs of an affair is a change in intimacy within the marriage. At first thought you may believe that someone who is cheating is going to want to be intimate less often. That’s actually not always the case. In fact, many men and women who are sleeping with someone else will actually want to make love more often with their spouse. This may be to overcompensate for the guilt they are feeling. If your spouse’s interest in sex with you has changed, that’s a sign that something else may be at play within your marriage.

The most common form of communication these days is the cell phone. If you suspect that your spouse isn’t being faithful pay special attention to their cell phone behavior. It’s much safer, in the eyes of the adulterer, to have their lover call their cell. Therefore one of the signs of an affair in your marriage is how your spouse handles those calls. If they repeatedly excuse themselves to use the phone, they are having conversations they don’t want you to hear. Also pay more attention at how often they simply ignore calls. If it’s happening often chances are good that it’s their lover calling and since you are present your spouse obviously can’t take that call.

It’s often hard to know whether your spouse is indeed committing adultery. Many people can have a long term affair without anyone suspecting a thing. In fact, sixty percent of married men and forty percent of married women will be unfaithful. For telltale signs of a cheating spouse, and how to get irrefutable and undeniable proof of the affair within moments visit this helpful site.

Although the aftermath of finding out whether or not your spouse is cheating can be devastating, it’s much better to know. You owe it to yourself and your children to know the truth.

Are you and your spouse worried about what’s happening with your savings, your pension, your children’s college funds, or just staying employed? The Dow Jones is under 10,000 and European banks sound as shaky as the US banks. Do you find yourself fearful of your futures together? Do you find yourselves disagreeing with your partner about how to weather this financial meltdown? Do you find yourselves arguing because one of you makes more money and feels like they have more control over how money is spent? When money gets tight as a result of reduced income or increased mortgage payments and is combined with financial fears of the future, those old money arguments (my money vs. your money) may be causing you problems again. It is time for the two of you to have discussions again about money.

In his book Love & Money, Jeff Opdyke says: “It’s not really about the money. It’s about creating another level of intimacy in your relationship and bestowing trust on each other.” He further recommends joint accounts for couples which explicitly demonstrates the trust you have with your spouse.

When we keep secrets from our spouse about how much we make, how we spend money, or even how much money we have, this indicates a measure of distrust in the other person. When times are tough like now, you need to trust and have faith in your legal and romantic partner. All your money and all your debts are consider joint by the state. If you are not considering them joint, you are losing out. You lose resources that your partner brings to solving financial problems. You lose a feeling of honesty about yourself. And you lose some ability to manage your family finances in the best way possible.

If the two of you are not quite ready to combine your accounts, at least try to agree on and be committed to the following:

1. Agree to live within your means, so that expenses do not exceed your income.

2. Agree to open, honest communication about money.

3. Promise not to blame one another, judge each other, or keep secrets about money.

4. Be prepared to listen to your partner and understand their perspective.

You both need to be fully aware of the family gross and net income, to know where household (and individual) money goes each month and to know how much debt you have and the interest costs you are paying.

If you are unable to have a frank and open discussion about your money with your spouse, you may benefit from seeing a marriage counselor. The National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists (www.marriagefriendlytherapist.com) is a good resource for finding a therapist who is invested in helping you save your marriage. If you are unable to curb your spending, you might consider Debtors Anonymous, an organization for people trying to reduce debt and regain solvency. If you need a housing counselor or help with your mortgage, go to the web site of the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (www.hud.gov) and click on the Hope for Homeowners link.

It’s important to realize you are not alone. Many couples and families are struggling. Don’t let your marriage be a casualty of the worst financial disaster most of us have ever seen. You and your spouse are in this together. Get the help you need to keep your marriage stable and safe.

If you decide that you might need marriage counseling, check out my website, http://www.PamLipe.com My specialty is marriage and relationship counseling. For 20 years, I have been helping couples find the love and support they want in their marriages. My therapy practice serves the metropolitan area of Minneapolis/St.Paul, MN.