I saw a look of resignation on my friend’s face as she said, “I don’t think I’m cut out to be a step mother.” There was a combination of sadness, frustration and resignation. She’d been married to her new husband for almost two years. The struggles started before their marriage, as it usually does when two people, with children from previous marriages decide to “blend families.” After all this time she saw no end in sight.

My friend has two daughters from her previous marriage. Her new husband has two daughters from his previous marriage…and a former wife who appeared to be determined to make things difficult. My friend has a former husband who lives out of state with his new family.

The four girls were all close in age and could possibly have been friends if they met at school, weren’t step siblings and didn’t have parents pulling at them.

Often, we the parents just need to get out of the way. Blended family issues can be resolved sooner and without causing added pain to the children if we allow space and time to work things out. I know from my own first hand meddling. I’ve detailed in my book, “You Used To Live In My House.”

My kids…back when they were kids, when my wife Louisa and I were newlyweds, didn’t need a new mom. Their mother was alive and well. Louisa didn’t want to be their mom. She knew her role and would have been happy to be a step mother. We all moved from Virginia to Colorado together so I thought she should be their new mom. All this while my kids really hadn’t given up hope that their mother and I might some how reconcile. We’d been apart for four years by then and each of the adults knew that wasn’t going to happen.

While I was living in Colorado my kids return to Virginia and to their mother,

I didn’t know what she was saying to them, about me. I didn’t learn that until three years later when they moved to Colorado. By then new roles weren’t so new and were accepted pretty easily. All the while, I knew that Louisa never criticized her sons’ father, even though he’d been virtually absent from their lives for several years.

Eleven years later Louisa received a Happy Step Mom Day card from Kelly on Mother’s Day. All of the ‘kids’ openly express their love for each of us these days, and have for some time. They all get along well with each other.

I can speak for myself and I believe it applies to many step parents, we are so determined that everyone will get a long and like each other immediately, that we make things more difficult than they need to be. Affection and assimilation cannot be forced upon our children. They have to find their own way and all we have to do is get out of the way.

Kids are resilient. I’ll over simplify it with an example of how they overcome the tales of an Easter Bunny and Santa Claus at very impressionable ages. If and when they see the new step parents showing affection and compromise it will be easier for them to move forward with their own feelings.

A friend of ours, Donna Lopez, provided the following testimonial to my book:

“After reading the book, “You Used To Live In My House” I began to think differently of blended families. I realized that it took much more love and faith and work that I ever imagined to sustain one household. I began to appreciate all those families around me that I once took for granted. This book allows us to see this family with such truth and pain and laughter! A recommended read!”

Obviously that’s flattering and I appreciate Donna’s comments. Her comments remain timely.

Don’t look now, but there are increasing numbers of blended families on the horizon. As more couples split and often after a child or two, the newly freed up mom or dad hooks up with that new ‘soul mate.’ Bingo, there’s a new family and the new spouse may even have children of their own from a previous relationship.

How do I know? I’m reminded of a question I was asked when I spoke to a Rotary Club not long ago. “What prepared you to write your book?” My answer: “I lived it.”

Back in the day, circa 1981, I met Louisa H. Harrison. She’s been Louisa H. Coons since June 18, 1983 and on that day, my three children and her two children, blended into this new family. Oh, by the way…on the fateful day, they were ages 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.

We’re all the better for it now. And if you read through what I call ‘Tales of the dark side’ (AKA “You Used To Live In My House”) you’ll eventually get to the happiness we enjoy today. Being in a blended family doesn’t have to make any or all of the participants crazy. I’ve only scratched the surface of how I, and sometimes we, went about it the wrong way. If you get to know us we should give you hope.

R. Perry Coons
http://www.youusedtoliveinmyhouse.com

R. Perry Coons has thrown the door wide open with his narrative of the first 25 years of his relationship journey with his wife and family. He says, “If you get to know us, we should give you hope.”

His background is varied, as witnessed by the many personal and professional experiences he shares with his readers…husband, father, grandfather, runner and former radio dj, award winning shopping center marketing director, special events coordinator, entertainment manager, Realtor and self-described coffee achiever. He holds a copyright on a manuscript titled “Surrel Estate” and is working on a novel about a radio dj in the late 60′s. His working title is “Record Player.” Perry lives in Denver, Colorado with his wife Lousia and their Australian Cattle Dog.

One such leading lady is Diane von Furstenberg (DVF), named President of the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) in 2006, and well-known fashion designer. DVF began her legacy in 1970 with a thirty thousand dollar investment, and by 1973 was known for her revolutionary design of the “wrap dress,” which is on display in the Costume Institute section of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. After several decades of successful businesses, to include a cosmetic line, publishing house, design and marketing studio and home-shopping venture – DVF has created a line of women’s high-end apparel, and was also The International Center in New York’s Award of Excellence recipient. With such a long and distinguished career DVF is truly a leading lady in the fashion industry.

Wielding the command to make or break designers is an awesome responsibility in the fashion industry, and there are those who are of the opinion that the Editor-in-Chief of Vogue, Anna Wintour, has just such powers. Despite Vogue’s status as the top publication in prestige and circulation among fashion magazines, Wintour has chosen to use her powers for the positive and has brought the magazine to a broader audience by giving marriage tips and mentoring struggling designers. “I have always believed that it is important to understand Vogue’s mission in broad and socially responsible terms,” says Wintour, who has spearheaded several functions creating jobs and benefiting charities. To wield such power for the benefit of others is why she has been chosen as one of our leading ladies.

Another leading lady of fashion magazines is Linda Wells, Editor-in-Chief of Allure. While most fashion magazines highlight trend setting runway designs and beauty tips, this powerhouse editor, from Greenwich deals with the hard hitting issues that women face in this day and time. “We were the first women’s magazine ever to write about the dangers of breast implants,” Wells states. “We did the first story on models who were addicted to heroin.” This revolutionary approach for a women’s fashion magazine has sky rocketed Allure’s circulation to award winning status from the advertising and publishing community. With an impressive career legacy which include (just to name a few) editorial assistant at Vogue, beauty editor for The New York Times Magazine, guest appearances on Oprah and “Entertainment Tonight” – her leading lady status is not at all surprising.

Our next leading lady of fashion has a reputation for being unique and groundbreaking in her knowledge of fashion, and her approach as editor-in-chief of Harper’s Bazaar. The notable Glenda Bailey, who also served as the editor of Marie Claire’s U.S. edition in 1996, after serving as the founding editor for eight years for the British Marie Claire in 1988, brought the magazine to such heights as to be awarded the status of Adweek’s Top 10 Hottest Magazines four years in a row. Along with three Magazine Editor of the Year Awards, five time winner of Magazine of the Year, and Amnesty International Awards winner twice, Bailey earned a fashion design degree from Kingston University in England. Awards of this magnitude are indicative of the formidable influence that this leading lady of fashion exhibits.

The last, legacy perfume certainly in no way least of our leading ladies of fashion is Fern Mallis, Senior VP of New York’s IMG Fashion, one of the leading fashion event planners. She has earned this position due to her reputation by serving as Executive Director in 1993 on the Council of Fashion Designers of America, and as the organizational genius behind the first “Fashion Week” which was known as 7th on Sixth at that time. With her ability to coordinate eighty temperamental top designers with her pleasant and calm personality along with her ability to handle the paparazzi; such multi-million dollar events such as the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York is in the capable hands of this high-powered fashion trend setter. Fashion Week in New York is a defining event in the fashion world, making this multi-million dollar extravaganza a feather in the cap of our phenomenal leading lady Fern Mallis.

Skyler Nelson
Fashion Questions and Answers
http://www.fashionqanda.com
877-STYL-411

The intense competition in the fashion industry makes it important for any fashion designer to showcase the designs to a larger audience. This shoes be done by creating fashion sketches and displaying them on the Internet. The sketches give an insight to the fashion fraternity and also to the common audience on the concept behind a particular fashion design. It is a way of communicating the theme to the people associated with the apparel industry. Hence, they are extremely important for any fashion designer.

Fashion sketches are illustrations made by professional artists and designed in a way that they can be easily displayed on the Internet. They portray the true creative genius of the designer. sweater can be considered a blue print of the final product. The perfection in making sketches is a prerequisite as they serve as the main marketing tool of the fashion professionals. The sketches reflect trends and the value added features of the design. They can also be used to evaluate the various patters used by different designers.

Fashion sketches are important, since they are the preliminary designs that have to be taken to the different apparel manufacturers in the market. The sketches are then used to select the different fabric samples from the wide range on offer.

Computers are increasingly being used for the purpose of making fashion design sketches. Several software are now available that assist the designers in making the drawings. While some still prefer the traditional hand-drawn sketches, others choose to opt for the speed and convenience of computer-aided designing. Hand-drawn sketches can also be fed into the computer with the help of a scanner.

The art of making fashion design sketches is important for creating a niche in the highly competitive fashion industry. Fashion designers can make their presence felt only if their sketches are different and original. Good quality sketches are the only means of establishing a firm foothold in the fashion industry.

Fashion Design provides detailed information on Fashion Design, Fashion Design Schools, Fashion Design Programs, Fashion Design Games and more. Fashion Design is affiliated with Fabric Hammocks.