Are you and your spouse worried about what’s happening with your savings, your pension, your children’s college funds, or just staying employed? The Dow Jones is under 10,000 and European banks sound as shaky as the US banks. Do you find yourself fearful of your futures together? Do you find yourselves disagreeing with your partner about how to weather this financial meltdown? Do you find yourselves arguing because one of you makes more money and feels like they have more control over how money is spent? When money gets tight as a result of reduced income or increased mortgage payments and is combined with financial fears of the future, those old money arguments (my money vs. your money) may be causing you problems again. It is time for the two of you to have discussions again about money.

In his book Love & Money, Jeff Opdyke says: “It’s not really about the money. It’s about creating another level of intimacy in your relationship and bestowing trust on each other.” He further recommends joint accounts for couples which explicitly demonstrates the trust you have with your spouse.

When we keep secrets from our spouse about how much we make, how we spend money, or even how much money we have, this indicates a measure of distrust in the other person. When times are tough like now, you need to trust and have faith in your legal and romantic partner. All your money and all your debts are consider joint by the state. If you are not considering them joint, you are losing out. You lose resources that your partner brings to solving financial problems. You lose a feeling of honesty about yourself. And you lose some ability to manage your family finances in the best way possible.

If the two of you are not quite ready to combine your accounts, at least try to agree on and be committed to the following:

1. Agree to live within your means, so that expenses do not exceed your income.

2. Agree to open, honest communication about money.

3. Promise not to blame one another, judge each other, or keep secrets about money.

4. Be prepared to listen to your partner and understand their perspective.

You both need to be fully aware of the family gross and net income, to know where household (and individual) money goes each month and to know how much debt you have and the interest costs you are paying.

If you are unable to have a frank and open discussion about your money with your spouse, you may benefit from seeing a marriage counselor. The National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists (www.marriagefriendlytherapist.com) is a good resource for finding a therapist who is invested in helping you save your marriage. If you are unable to curb your spending, you might consider Debtors Anonymous, an organization for people trying to reduce debt and regain solvency. If you need a housing counselor or help with your mortgage, go to the web site of the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (www.hud.gov) and click on the Hope for Homeowners link.

It’s important to realize you are not alone. Many couples and families are struggling. Don’t let your marriage be a casualty of the worst financial disaster most of us have ever seen. You and your spouse are in this together. Get the help you need to keep your marriage stable and safe.

If you decide that you might need marriage counseling, check out my website, http://www.PamLipe.com My specialty is marriage and relationship counseling. For 20 years, I have been helping couples find the love and support they want in their marriages. My therapy practice serves the metropolitan area of Minneapolis/St.Paul, MN.

If you’ve found this article, I have to assume that you either strongly suspect or know for sure that your spouse has had an affair. I know from experience that in all likelihood you’re experiencing a slew of overwhelming feelings (likely none of them positive) like betrayal, shock, severe hurt, and intense pain. You may also blame yourself, wonder how you could have been so naive, or blame your spouse entirely for his or her actions.  Every single one of these questions and responses are perfectly natural and normal.  You’ve been dealt a harsh blow and there is no right or wrong answer. The days following learning about an affair can go by in a daze or the blink of an eye and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or lost.  This article will provide tips and prompts to help you deal with these feelings and sort out / deal with the affair.

Don’t Blame Yourself, Beat Yourself Up Or Second Guess Yourself: Until an affair actually happened to me, I used to wonder how in the world a wife could blame herself for a husband’s affair.  I just did not get that at all.  But then, in the days after my husband’s affair (once my shock and rage at him wore off) I started to wonder where in the world I went wrong. How could I be so stupid? Was I not exciting enough? Pretty enough? Sexy enough? A good enough wife and mother? Did I not meet his needs or give him what he needed to be happy? Did he have to go elsewhere for excitement or satisfaction?

I have a friend who kind of went through this same sort of thing but in the opposite realm. When she found out about her husband’s affair – she completed overcompensated. She wanted this thing fixed immediately so she sucked it up and put all of the blame squarely on her shoulders and made drastic changes to herself and her bedroom.  The “crises mode” of the situation actually created a spark between her and her husband. Then, she hated herself because she felt that she was a “door mat” for just wanting her husband back. She asked herself where was her self respect? How could she allow him to do this? So she felt negatively about herself just as I did and her self esteem was hit as hard as mine was, but for different reasons.

Both of these reactions cause all sorts of internal bad feelings that doesn’t help you heal at all. Although these feelings are so perfectly normal and understandable it’s important to understand that no matter what you did or didn’t do – the affair is not your fault. It just is not.  Your spouse is the one who made the decision to be unfaithful.  Whether he / she is going through a mid life crises or he / she thinks their needs are not being met or he’s / she’s having self esteem issues, how they chose to deal with these problems was a decision that THEY made.

There are many spouses with issues who chose not to cheat but to instead communicate and work with their wives and husbands to work through these issues.

When You Are Ready, Evaluate And Understand Exactly Why The Infidelity Happened And Your Feelings On What You Want To Happen Now: I will always maintain that a spouse who cheats is the guilty party.  However, each marriage has certain factors that can sometimes contribute to infidelity.  This is not always the case. Sometimes it’s a simple self esteem issue or stress manifesting itself, but sometimes there can be issues in a marriage or communication style that contributes to infidelity. 

Whether you want to save the marriage or not, it can be helpful to hear (when you are calm and ready) just exactly why the infidelity happened.  However, you don’t have to take these reasons for face value.  Really listen to what your spouse is saying and honestly evaluate if these issues they’re bringing up have any merit or are valid. 

Sometimes, a spouse will just make excuses or refuse to take responsibility, but sometimes, you will actually get the truth as painful as it may be.  In my own case, my husband was not feeling heard in a highly stressful situation.  At first I thought this was all just a silly excuse, but when I evaluated more honestly and closely, I had to admit there was a few slivers of truth there.

What you chose to do with this information is completely up to you.  If you don’t want to save the marriage, at least it is a learning experience that you may revisit later in a future relationship.  If you do want to save the marriage, this information will be invaluable for you in the future so that you can address these things to make the marriage stronger and ensure the infidelity doesn’t reoccur.

Now, it’s important that you really take some honest time on your own when you can be calm and reflective (this may take time) to determine what you really want.  It may be that your spouse has been a good one up until this point and you still love him or her and ultimately want to save the marriage. Or, it may be that a pattern of betrayal and dishonestly is emerging that is a deal breaker for you.  Either answer is valid and OK.

Define what is your best case scenario that, if you could achieve it, would help you heal. For some, this is to just pick up and move on by yourself, without letting this one event ruin the rest of your life.  For some, it’s to get the marriage back to a loving and trusting place. Whatever your “best case scenario” is, always promise yourself that you will keep this in mind from this point forward.

Because if ultimately you want to save your marriage, then it doesn’t make sense to continue to lash out at your spouse and continue to punish them months and months after they’ve said they’re sorry or allow an unhealthy obsession with everything having to do with the affair (or the other woman) to continue to sabotage your marriage and your happiness. If being happily married and at peace again is really your goal, try your best not to engage in behaviors that are going to keep this from happening (while still being true to yourself.)

Don’t Hesitate To Get Help To Deal With The Infidelity If You Need It: An affair can be heavy burden on the party who was cheated on. Your self esteem is likely going to take a huge hit. Although it may feel weird to do so, take this time to focus on yourself and your extreme self care.  See friends. Pursue those things you love.  Do what makes you happy.  This will make you feel better and will show both you and your spouse that you have enough self respect that this isn’t going to beat you. 

You may ultimately need some to help with your healing and with dealing with the infidelity.  In my own experience, although I wanted to save my marriage and to forgive my husband, I was stuck.  I would feel forgiving toward him one second and rage at him the next.  He was patient with me and I was trying to be patient with him, but we couldn’t move forward. 

It’s normal to have difficulty in the early days after learning about the affair, but if you get stuck and can’t move past it, don’t hesitate to get the help you need. There is no shame in it.  Ultimately, I needed out side resources to get me out of this cycle that was just holding me back.  Once I had this, I was able to slowly move forward and today, although it took some work and effort, I can honestly say it hasn’t beaten me in the least.

Dealing with the infidelity in my marriage was very difficult for a time. With a lot hard work and effort, our marriage and my self esteem recovered. I now know myself, my husband and my marriage much more intimately. I no longer worry that he is going to cheat again. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://saving-my-marriage-after-the-affair.blogspot.com/

One such leading lady is Diane von Furstenberg (DVF), named President of the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) in 2006, and well-known fashion designer. DVF began her legacy in 1970 with a thirty thousand dollar investment, and by 1973 was known for her revolutionary design of the “wrap dress,” which is on display in the Costume Institute section of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. After several decades of successful businesses, to include a cosmetic line, publishing house, design and marketing studio and home-shopping venture – DVF has created a line of women’s high-end apparel, and was also The International Center in New York’s Award of Excellence recipient. With such a long and distinguished career DVF is truly a leading lady in the fashion industry.

Wielding the command to make or break designers is an awesome responsibility in the fashion industry, and there are those who are of the opinion that the Editor-in-Chief of Vogue, Anna Wintour, has just such powers. Despite Vogue’s status as the top publication in prestige and circulation among fashion magazines, Wintour has chosen to use her powers for the positive and has brought the magazine to a broader audience by giving marriage tips and mentoring struggling designers. “I have always believed that it is important to understand Vogue’s mission in broad and socially responsible terms,” says Wintour, who has spearheaded several functions creating jobs and benefiting charities. To wield such power for the benefit of others is why she has been chosen as one of our leading ladies.

Another leading lady of fashion magazines is Linda Wells, Editor-in-Chief of Allure. While most fashion magazines highlight trend setting runway designs and beauty tips, this powerhouse editor, from Greenwich deals with the hard hitting issues that women face in this day and time. “We were the first women’s magazine ever to write about the dangers of breast implants,” Wells states. “We did the first story on models who were addicted to heroin.” This revolutionary approach for a women’s fashion magazine has sky rocketed Allure’s circulation to award winning status from the advertising and publishing community. With an impressive career legacy which include (just to name a few) editorial assistant at Vogue, beauty editor for The New York Times Magazine, guest appearances on Oprah and “Entertainment Tonight” – her leading lady status is not at all surprising.

Our next leading lady of fashion has a reputation for being unique and groundbreaking in her knowledge of fashion, and her approach as editor-in-chief of Harper’s Bazaar. The notable Glenda Bailey, who also served as the editor of Marie Claire’s U.S. edition in 1996, after serving as the founding editor for eight years for the British Marie Claire in 1988, brought the magazine to such heights as to be awarded the status of Adweek’s Top 10 Hottest Magazines four years in a row. Along with three Magazine Editor of the Year Awards, five time winner of Magazine of the Year, and Amnesty International Awards winner twice, Bailey earned a fashion design degree from Kingston University in England. Awards of this magnitude are indicative of the formidable influence that this leading lady of fashion exhibits.

The last, legacy perfume certainly in no way least of our leading ladies of fashion is Fern Mallis, Senior VP of New York’s IMG Fashion, one of the leading fashion event planners. She has earned this position due to her reputation by serving as Executive Director in 1993 on the Council of Fashion Designers of America, and as the organizational genius behind the first “Fashion Week” which was known as 7th on Sixth at that time. With her ability to coordinate eighty temperamental top designers with her pleasant and calm personality along with her ability to handle the paparazzi; such multi-million dollar events such as the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York is in the capable hands of this high-powered fashion trend setter. Fashion Week in New York is a defining event in the fashion world, making this multi-million dollar extravaganza a feather in the cap of our phenomenal leading lady Fern Mallis.

Skyler Nelson
Fashion Questions and Answers
http://www.fashionqanda.com
877-STYL-411

While a number clothing medical experts have said that infant shoes are necessary for babies, commonsense would say that this is not completely true. Babies need the protection of infant shoes on their feet, especially since they are still unable to discern the hazards around them. Infant shoes also have other purposes, such as providing warmth for their feet.

Unfortunately, it is difficult to find the right shoes for babies. The feet of a newly-born are different from regular feet, not just size but also in proportion. Unlike the regular developed feet, which are rectangular in proportion, infant feet are square-shaped. The width of an infant’s feet is as the as its length, making them wider than what the regular feet should look like. However, many shoe manufacturers do not consider this when developing this kind of infant clothing. Therefore, it is usually hard for parents to find infant shoes would fit perfectly on their children.

But while it could be difficult to find the right kind of infant shoes, it is extremely important since the littlest detail in a baby’s growth can alter or hinder their development. Children’s clothing and practically any kind of baby apparel can affect certain growth areas. In particular, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, giving a baby the wrong fit of shoes can make their first step harder. Parents, therefore, should not shop blindly-especially when it comes to children’s clothing, especially for infants.

Parents should first make sure that the infant shoes provide enough safe for the infant’s feet. These are for two reasons-the infant’s irregularly-shaped feet and the growth of the infant’s feet. This also provides comfort since tight-fitting shoes can cause cuts and sores, making them painful to wear. But do not buy shoes that are too large since they can cause the infant to marriage and trip.

The growth of the infant’s feet is rapid and fast, so parents should expect to a new pair of shoes every three to four months, until the body of the infant has developed.

Lace-up shoes are also a poor choice of infant shoes; this kind of infant clothing should be reserved when the infants are old enough to tie their own shoes. The lace of these shoes can also cause the infant to trip and fall, so they are very risky. Instead, parents can but soft-sole Velcro infant shoes, which are suitable for infants from those who are just starting to crawl to those who are beginning to walk. Soft-sole shoes are ideal because they flexible and light, making it easier for the infant to learn how to walk.

The most important consideration when buying infant shoes is the comfort and protection it can give. Later on, when the infant has grown, parents will have a wider range of choices. But until then, parents should prioritize shoes that provide comfort and protection.

Looking for the best clothes for your children without burning your pockets? Then, visit http://www.childclothingoutlet.com/ This site will offer you an in-depth and complete information about your baby’s and toddler’s clothing needs.