Is your long distance relationship thriving…or just surviving? Are you madly in love with someone but cannot find a way to live in the same city? How do you support your relationship when you have very real physical distance between you?

I have seen couples fall apart because they could not sustain their relationship due to the distance between them, and I have seen others who find creative, romantic ways to keep the love alive. I know people who had a long distance relationship for years, complained about it, and finally got together in the same city, only to break up months after they lived near each other. Some people have long distance relationships and like it that way. And some couples don’t like the distance at all, but manage to still stay close.

How do they do that? Here are some of the challenges that exist when you have an out-of-town romance, and what you can do about it:

* Commitment

If you have just met, take care to spend enough time to truly know each other before you get in a committed relationship. There is no substitute for face-to-face communication. You need to meet each other’s friends, family, and co-workers. You need to experience good times and stressful ones together. Once you do, decide what your expectations are for your relationship. Be open and honest. How much commitment are you willing to give each other? This clarity is important to minimize misunderstanding.

* Trust

Once you can determine if you are both on the same level of investment in the relationship, trust and honesty become paramount to the success of your future. These elements are at the heart of all lasting unions, but distance challenges the security of your connection.

* Communication

Be dedicated to the way you stay in touch. Phone calls, emails, and chatting on-line are important. Set up a regular time to visit with each other, building a routine. But add some surprises such as, homemade videos, collected poems put in a special book, or self-decorated greeting cards. Stretch your imagination further with a lock of your hair in a unique box; an absorbent piece of cloth with your perfume or after-shave scent; your favorite flower, pressed and framed. If the other person does not call often, make time for you, or send appropriate communications, do not hang on. Let go and get on with your life.

* Plan your reunions.

Decide where to meet, how often, and how you want to spend the time when you see each other. Be very clear about what your expectations are for the time you have together. This is where many relationships break down. His idea of the perfect weekend could be sitting in front of the TV with her at his side, watching football. Hers could be visiting friends, attending a romantic movie, and later sharing secrets of the heart. He may expect her to cook his dinner; she may expect him to take her out. We all have old scripts that play out in new relationships, and unless we communicate what we want from each other, this is a recipe for misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Finally, decide how long you want to live apart, and set a date for the move. It is true that when one of you moves to the other one’s town, you are taking a risk. However, most people say that even when it doesn’t work out, at least they gave love a chance. They didn’t want to spend their life longing to be somewhere else, continuing–a long distance relationship.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

Individual style should be applauded. It takes guts, personality and confidence to pull off certain looks, and anyone who expresses their individual style with gusto should be proud. But there are a few fashion no-no’s that should really be avoided at all costs, because, let’s face it, they just don’t look good on anyone. Be a fashion do by following these fashion don’ts.

1. Socks And Sandals
Just don’t do it, it really doesn’t look good. I understand wanting to be comfortable, but if socks are truly necessary, put on a pair of cute tennies or slip ons. Better yet, find a pair of sandals that are comfortable enough to wear without socks. Oh, and don’t even think about wearing black socks up to your knees with shorts and any type of shoes. I won’t even get into my opinion on Crocs at this point, but let’s just say that unless you’re gardening, I wouldn’t recommend those either.

2. Your Underwear Peeking Out Of Your Pants
Ok, So Brittany Spears did it, and so did various other teen stars and it was cool for a while. Let me give you a hint: unless you actually look like Brittany Spears, you probably can’t pull it off. Even if you can pull it off, there’s a difference between letting your thong hang out on stage in front of thousands of fans an paparazzi, and showing it off at the grocery store or in line at the movie theater. Trust me, no one wants to see it, and people are probably making fun of you as soon as you’re out of earshot.

3. Wearing The Baggiest Clothes You Can Find
No matter what size you are, you are going to look better in clothes that actually fit you, rather than big, baggy clothes meant to hide your figure. Beauty is not size dependent, and most people will tell you that a person of any size who looks fashionable and put together always looks better than someone in baggy clothes that looks like they are wearing a tent. Find a style that works for your body type, and that you like and be proud of it. The more confident you are in your own body and style, the more people will be drawn to you and appreciate you for who you are and your individual style. Sit on a bench at the mall for a couple of hours watching people go by. Who looks great, and who looks like a slob? Find a role model and try to emulate them. If all else fails, watch a few dozen episodes of What Not To Wear, and see resistant fashion disasters morph into beautiful, put together people.

4. Over-accessorizing, or Not Accessorizing at All
Even the best outfit can benefit from a few well placed accessories. A great handbag, and nice necklace and some simple earrings can easily take an outfit from ok to fabulous. They don’t have to match, they just have to be in the same or a complimentary color family. But a word of warning: don’t overdo it. Great big dangly earrings, 4 necklaces, 3 inches of arm bangles and a huge, sparkly handbag is going just a bit overboard. Keep it simple, but interesting, and make sure that your accessories compliment your outfit, not overpower it.

5. Being Self Conscious About Your Style
Above all, find a style that you love (and of course that follows all of the above mentioned rules). Wear colors that make you happy, and styles that make you feel beautiful. The absolute worst thing you can do is wear clothes that make you feel uncomfortable, or that you don’t love. Clothes and accessories are meant to be fun, that’s why there are so many choices. Don’t buy something just because it’s on sale, all of those meaningless purchases could be traded for one fantastic piece that you adore, and will last a long time. Buy pieces that are classic, as well as a few trendier items that can be mixed and matched. You will never regret spending a little more on a great pair of black pants that will last for years, and you can update them every season with a new top or some jewelry.

Find your inner diva, and express your style for the world to admire by following these simple rules. A Little fashion knowledge can go a long way in allowing you to express yourself to the world in a positive, confident way.

Visit http://www.missy-j.com for fashionable, affordable accessories, and http:http://www.missyjblog.blogspot.com for more fashion advice and ideas.