I saw a look of resignation on my friend’s face as she said, “I don’t think I’m cut out to be a step mother.” There was a combination of sadness, frustration and resignation. She’d been married to her new husband for almost two years. The struggles started before their marriage, as it usually does when two people, with children from previous marriages decide to “blend families.” After all this time she saw no end in sight.

My friend has two daughters from her previous marriage. Her new husband has two daughters from his previous marriage…and a former wife who appeared to be determined to make things difficult. My friend has a former husband who lives out of state with his new family.

The four girls were all close in age and could possibly have been friends if they met at school, weren’t step siblings and didn’t have parents pulling at them.

Often, we the parents just need to get out of the way. Blended family issues can be resolved sooner and without causing added pain to the children if we allow space and time to work things out. I know from my own first hand meddling. I’ve detailed in my book, “You Used To Live In My House.”

My kids…back when they were kids, when my wife Louisa and I were newlyweds, didn’t need a new mom. Their mother was alive and well. Louisa didn’t want to be their mom. She knew her role and would have been happy to be a step mother. We all moved from Virginia to Colorado together so I thought she should be their new mom. All this while my kids really hadn’t given up hope that their mother and I might some how reconcile. We’d been apart for four years by then and each of the adults knew that wasn’t going to happen.

While I was living in Colorado my kids return to Virginia and to their mother,

I didn’t know what she was saying to them, about me. I didn’t learn that until three years later when they moved to Colorado. By then new roles weren’t so new and were accepted pretty easily. All the while, I knew that Louisa never criticized her sons’ father, even though he’d been virtually absent from their lives for several years.

Eleven years later Louisa received a Happy Step Mom Day card from Kelly on Mother’s Day. All of the ‘kids’ openly express their love for each of us these days, and have for some time. They all get along well with each other.

I can speak for myself and I believe it applies to many step parents, we are so determined that everyone will get a long and like each other immediately, that we make things more difficult than they need to be. Affection and assimilation cannot be forced upon our children. They have to find their own way and all we have to do is get out of the way.

Kids are resilient. I’ll over simplify it with an example of how they overcome the tales of an Easter Bunny and Santa Claus at very impressionable ages. If and when they see the new step parents showing affection and compromise it will be easier for them to move forward with their own feelings.

A friend of ours, Donna Lopez, provided the following testimonial to my book:

“After reading the book, “You Used To Live In My House” I began to think differently of blended families. I realized that it took much more love and faith and work that I ever imagined to sustain one household. I began to appreciate all those families around me that I once took for granted. This book allows us to see this family with such truth and pain and laughter! A recommended read!”

Obviously that’s flattering and I appreciate Donna’s comments. Her comments remain timely.

Don’t look now, but there are increasing numbers of blended families on the horizon. As more couples split and often after a child or two, the newly freed up mom or dad hooks up with that new ‘soul mate.’ Bingo, there’s a new family and the new spouse may even have children of their own from a previous relationship.

How do I know? I’m reminded of a question I was asked when I spoke to a Rotary Club not long ago. “What prepared you to write your book?” My answer: “I lived it.”

Back in the day, circa 1981, I met Louisa H. Harrison. She’s been Louisa H. Coons since June 18, 1983 and on that day, my three children and her two children, blended into this new family. Oh, by the way…on the fateful day, they were ages 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.

We’re all the better for it now. And if you read through what I call ‘Tales of the dark side’ (AKA “You Used To Live In My House”) you’ll eventually get to the happiness we enjoy today. Being in a blended family doesn’t have to make any or all of the participants crazy. I’ve only scratched the surface of how I, and sometimes we, went about it the wrong way. If you get to know us we should give you hope.

R. Perry Coons
http://www.youusedtoliveinmyhouse.com

R. Perry Coons has thrown the door wide open with his narrative of the first 25 years of his relationship journey with his wife and family. He says, “If you get to know us, we should give you hope.”

His background is varied, as witnessed by the many personal and professional experiences he shares with his readers…husband, father, grandfather, runner and former radio dj, award winning shopping center marketing director, special events coordinator, entertainment manager, Realtor and self-described coffee achiever. He holds a copyright on a manuscript titled “Surrel Estate” and is working on a novel about a radio dj in the late 60′s. His working title is “Record Player.” Perry lives in Denver, Colorado with his wife Lousia and their Australian Cattle Dog.

Individual style should be applauded. It takes guts, personality and confidence to pull off certain looks, and anyone who expresses their individual style with gusto should be proud. But there are a few fashion no-no’s that should really be avoided at all costs, because, let’s face it, they just don’t look good on anyone. Be a fashion do by following these fashion don’ts.

1. Socks And Sandals
Just don’t do it, it really doesn’t look good. I understand wanting to be comfortable, but if socks are truly necessary, put on a pair of cute tennies or slip ons. Better yet, find a pair of sandals that are comfortable enough to wear without socks. Oh, and don’t even think about wearing black socks up to your knees with shorts and any type of shoes. I won’t even get into my opinion on Crocs at this point, but let’s just say that unless you’re gardening, I wouldn’t recommend those either.

2. Your Underwear Peeking Out Of Your Pants
Ok, So Brittany Spears did it, and so did various other teen stars and it was cool for a while. Let me give you a hint: unless you actually look like Brittany Spears, you probably can’t pull it off. Even if you can pull it off, there’s a difference between letting your thong hang out on stage in front of thousands of fans an paparazzi, and showing it off at the grocery store or in line at the movie theater. Trust me, no one wants to see it, and people are probably making fun of you as soon as you’re out of earshot.

3. Wearing The Baggiest Clothes You Can Find
No matter what size you are, you are going to look better in clothes that actually fit you, rather than big, baggy clothes meant to hide your figure. Beauty is not size dependent, and most people will tell you that a person of any size who looks fashionable and put together always looks better than someone in baggy clothes that looks like they are wearing a tent. Find a style that works for your body type, and that you like and be proud of it. The more confident you are in your own body and style, the more people will be drawn to you and appreciate you for who you are and your individual style. Sit on a bench at the mall for a couple of hours watching people go by. Who looks great, and who looks like a slob? Find a role model and try to emulate them. If all else fails, watch a few dozen episodes of What Not To Wear, and see resistant fashion disasters morph into beautiful, put together people.

4. Over-accessorizing, or Not Accessorizing at All
Even the best outfit can benefit from a few well placed accessories. A great handbag, and nice necklace and some simple earrings can easily take an outfit from ok to fabulous. They don’t have to match, they just have to be in the same or a complimentary color family. But a word of warning: don’t overdo it. Great big dangly earrings, 4 necklaces, 3 inches of arm bangles and a huge, sparkly handbag is going just a bit overboard. Keep it simple, but interesting, and make sure that your accessories compliment your outfit, not overpower it.

5. Being Self Conscious About Your Style
Above all, find a style that you love (and of course that follows all of the above mentioned rules). Wear colors that make you happy, and styles that make you feel beautiful. The absolute worst thing you can do is wear clothes that make you feel uncomfortable, or that you don’t love. Clothes and accessories are meant to be fun, that’s why there are so many choices. Don’t buy something just because it’s on sale, all of those meaningless purchases could be traded for one fantastic piece that you adore, and will last a long time. Buy pieces that are classic, as well as a few trendier items that can be mixed and matched. You will never regret spending a little more on a great pair of black pants that will last for years, and you can update them every season with a new top or some jewelry.

Find your inner diva, and express your style for the world to admire by following these simple rules. A Little fashion knowledge can go a long way in allowing you to express yourself to the world in a positive, confident way.

Visit http://www.missy-j.com for fashionable, affordable accessories, and http:http://www.missyjblog.blogspot.com for more fashion advice and ideas.

By the end of the First World War, many changes in fashion came about. Short bobs became in, as well as pinafores worn above the knee. Corsets were gone, and women suddenly dressed like boys. The androgynous style soon became the in thing by the year 1925. Sportswear became hot trends among men and women, with popular designers Jean Patou with Coco Chanel helping popularize the athletic look.

Chanel was one of the most popular fashion movers of the era, as she was responsible for introducing chic and futuristic designs. She helped in making popular the bob hairstyle, use of jersey knit among women, as well as use of the little black dress. She also made popular the use of jewelry and knitwear among her clients.

Another popular French designer of the era was Jeanne Lanvin, who was responsible for introducing intricate trimmings, as well as impressive embroideries and decorations. By the middle of the decade she had manufactured an impressive line of products ranging from men’s wear, sportswear, and lingerie.

Still another renowned designer of the decade was Jean Patou. While hers was never mainstream, Patou’s style was eccentric and original. She was known for her garments with clean lines, emphasized by luxury and practicality.

Men’s wear became emphasized youthfulness and relaxation. Formality was being forgotten, as men preferred to show off their youthfulness. They wore short suit jackets, as well as short tuxedo, sweaters and short pants. Another trend was the London cut, made popular by the English tailor Scholte.

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Have you committed a fashion crime or two with your business clothing? Who hasn’t? From overcoming the dreaded muffin top bulge to covering up peek-a-boo lingerie, these expert tips will help you overcome common wardrobe blunders.

1. Revealing too much, as in baring your midriff: Blame it on Britney Spears, but low-rise pants are amongst the biggest business no no’s in a professional environment. To prevent the world from getting a view of your midriff, add a tank or close-fitting shirt under your top layer. You’ll stay warmer while adding visual interest to an outfit.

2. Over-the-pants bulge: Otherwise known as the muffin top, this is the spillover effect from pants that are too tight at the waist. What to do? Go one size up. We all like to think we are a size smaller than we really are, but when it comes to pants, you always look slimmer when they fit well and don’t create any bulges.

3. Visible lingerie: Good lingerie should be invisible. Wear nude, not white undergarments with white pants or a white shirt. To get rid of panty lines, check out some of the newer styles of seamless underwear.

4. Gaping blouse: If your favorite blouse is gaping at the seams, here’s a quick fix: a small piece of double-sided tape placed between each button will keep gaps closed and prevent any embarrassing peek-a-boo moments.

5. Too tight clothing: Painted-on pants, and too tight tops are not for the workplace. Wear clothing that fits, but is not overly revealing

6. Frumpy and forgettable: Ditch the dowdy pants and sweaters that are functional but boring, like the turtleneck paired with Mom Jeans. These items don’t flatter you, and project the message that you have no style.

7. Still in high school: A miniskirt, cartoon t-shirt and big hair make you look like you never left high school. They lessen your authority and professionalism in the workplace.

8. Senior citizen pastels, cheesy fabrics, and shapeless cuts make it seem like you’re too old to care – not a good sign for the office.

Do you know the biggest business image mistakes? Find out with these free reports:

7 Business Casual Crimes and How to Solve Them, and 13 Foods that Can Sabotage a Business Meal, when you sign up for my Communication Capsules Ezine at: http://www.Impressforsuccess.com/signup.html

From Lynda Goldman, author of 30 books including How to Make a Million Dollar First Impression

Some women choose to work up until the day they deliver their baby, while others stop working a month to a couple of weeks before. Regardless of which one you are, you need to have maternity work clothes after you pass the three and a half to four month point in your pregnancy. As soon as your regular clothes begin to become uncomfortable, it is time for you to purchase maternity clothes.

You would be wise to purchase clothing that is proper for the season. Clothing that can be layered is always a good option. You can add or take off layers with the changing weather. This is a good way to stretch your budget and moderate your own changing body temperature.

It’s key to mix and match clothes for work. Fashion mavens want to look as good while they’re pregnant as they did before, and why shouldn’t they? Purchase several pairs of pants in neutral shades, such as tan, black, gray, navy and brown. A nice skirt, such as an A-line style in a neutral color, coupled with a jacket that goes with several different outfits, as well as a dress and an array of tops are really all that you need. Ensure that your bottoms are made from soft, stretchy fabrics that are breathable. Be creative if possible. Choose something with just a hint of color for summer months, but make sure it will match with as many of your separates as possible.

When it is cold outside, you may wish to consider several sweaters layered. The inner layer is often a V-neck or crew neck item, with an outer layer consisting of a long sleeved cardigan of the same color. Stylish enough for work, casual enough for an evening out. Add some attractive dark pants and new accessories, and people will certainly look twice!

Ever imagined how much better and amazing you can look even in a simple nice dress with just the right kind of accessories. No matter what your size is, it doesn’t matter if you are wearing right earrings, necklaces, bracelets etc. These accessories in general are meant to add value to your appearance but they do wonder when they are appropriately matched to your outfit.

During pregnancy, shoes can really make a difference. Even in the early stages of pregnancy, your feet can ache painfully, so when you go shopping for shoes, try to remember this and choose wisely. Black is a great choice of color as it goes great with dresses, shirts and pants. You can choose either a closed pump or a sling-back. Other shoes that are acceptable to wear to work are ballerina flats. Remember that as your pregnancy progresses, your feet might swell, so make sure that the shoes you buy are wider than you usually wear.

Always buy work clothes that are made of soft material that can breath. Make sure you avoid clothes with complicated fasteners or any irritating zippers, buttons or inseams. Aim for fashionable clothes that do not look too girlish or childish.

Andrea writes about Plus Size Clothing. Visit us for plus size deals on a Plus Size Prom Dresses at http://plus-size.discountsonline.com

Think about people’s shirts. You are probably picturing white dress shirts, golf shirts, t-shirts, sports shirts such as basketball and football jerseys, women’s blouses, maybe even branching out into sweaters but what is the one shirt that almost everyone can recognize and identify with a particular profession? If you are in the medical profession then you know the answer because you are wearing one. That’s right it is scrub tops and people all over the world can recognize them as something doctors, nurses, dentists, technologists, surgeons, and other healthcare professionals wear while working.

If you figure just about everyone goes to see a doctor for one reason or another and just about everywhere in the world people wear scrubs, then it stands as reason to believe the most recognized shirt in the world would be a scrubs shirt. Of course, not all scrubs shirts look alike anymore. It used to be a standard white and then green, now you can get metro scrubs in different colors and patterns. There are designer scrubs, scrubs with school logos that come in school colors, custom made scrubs, form fitting scrubs, and plus size scrubs. Even though you can get all of these different scrubs, they all still look similar enough that you can almost always recognize scrubs on medical professionals even when they are not in the office, hospital or clinic.

One of the benefits about buying scrubs today is that you can buy them online which means anyone from anywhere in the world can buy the same scrubs. If you live in Africa and you were a graduate of Notre Dame you can get your school colors and logo on your next set of scrubs. If you want custom logos for your office or hospital, you can order that from anywhere in the world. You are not limited much due to your location any longer; the internet is an equalizer for fashion.

Along with scrub shirts you can order other accessories that mix and match with the shirts including of course the scrubs pants. Along with the pants you can get jackets, hats and shoes. All of these are also available on the internet.

Without any market surveys to back up this claim it is still suggested that scrub tops are the most recognized shirts in the world. Now that they come in metro scrubs and plus size scrubs your choices are endless when it comes to mixing and matching colorful scrubs, even though they might not be as recognizable as the old standard green scrubs.

The following are travel packing tips based on experience. I have gone to other countries for a month or more with nothing but a carry-on bag that weighed ten pounds. In fact, my number one travel tip is to go light whenever you can. The simplify of traveling light makes almost any trip more enjoyable.

Unfortunately, going with only carry-on luggage is getting more difficult due to the newest rules about what you can actually carry on a plane. If you do want to keep it to just one bag that goes with you on the plane, check the latest regulations and leave behind anything that isn’t allowed. It doesn’t add that much expense to a trip to just buy these things at your destination.

In fact, buying things as you go is a great way to simplify packing. Why bring twenty things just in case you need them, and then have to lug them around for the sake of the six you actually use? If it is a vacation in particular, why not plan just a little extra expense, and buy necessities as you travel? Many have found that this is more practical and relaxing than over-planning a trip and over-weighting the luggage.

Some Other Travel Packing Tips

- Jewelry and other valuables are usually not covered by the luggage insurance the airline provides. Pack these items in your carry-on bag.

- Silk shirts can be rolled carefully so they will wrinkle less in soft-sided luggage.

- To conserve space, buy low-bulk items for travel. A down coat, for example, will compress to a fourth of the size of other coats, and keep you just as warm.

- Lightweight travel pants, made of soft nylon derivatives are very light, tough, and pack small. They are often found where they sell outdoor gear, but some styles are dressy enough for use almost anywhere.

- To bring more in less space, set aside your thinnest socks, lightest clothes and smallest items for travel. A small hairbrush may work just as well as a large one, for example. You might get to bring many more potentially useful items, and still have a smaller bag in this way.

- If you buy a bulky gift for a family member or friend back home, you may want to send it to them instead of carrying it around for weeks while traveling.

- Don’t overstuff your luggage. remember that it may be opened and inspected, and the security officials may not know how to fit it all back in.

- Don’t pack important documents, like passports and identification, in your luggage. Carry these on your person, preferably in a security pouch or interior pocket.

- Be careful when packing shampoo, perfume, skin cream and other liquids. Plane cargo areas are often not pressurized fully, so the tops can pop off of bottles and other containers. For added safety, pack such items in a sealed ziplock bag.

- Carry a list of what is in your luggage, in case you need to file a claim for lost bags.

In addition to using the travel packing tips above, have a good packing routine. For example, start by considering every circumstance you may be in during your trip, and making a list of items you’ll need. Then, after packing, consider each item, and remove anything that really isn’t likely to be used – especially if it can be easily obtained at your destination.

Copyright Steve Gillman. For travel stories, tips and a free Travel Secrets Ebook, visit http://www.everythingabouttravel.com

However it may seem from past experiences, it is not really that much more difficult to shop for jeans just because you are limited to the large sizes. The frustrating reality is that locating flattering, comfortable dungarees is a daunting proposition for any woman of any size, even the skinniest one. A pair of jeans might look all right in the dressing room of the department store, but they can make you feel like you’re trapped in a denim straitjacket when you’re wearing them for hours. But finding just the right large size jeans for you doesn’t necessarily have to entail a miserable shopping experience. Keep the following pointers in mind on your next shopping trip for jeans.

Don’t assume that you must wear baggy jeans just because you are a plus sized woman. Always keep in mind that plus sized and oversized are not synonymous terms. Learn to love your body instead of constantly trying to hide it. While you body may not be perfect, whose really is? Trying to hide your hips and legs behind baggy jeans only makes you look frumpy, and make you look bigger, too. There are different jean types for different bodies, and you should find jeans that fit your body. Talk to a professional, or even consider having your jeans professionally tailored for the perfect fit.

We’ve all heard the old wives’ tale that wearing black makes us look slimmer. This adage may hold true for people who aren’t over weight, but it does little for a plus size figure trying to wear a pair of black jeans. There are certain colors that you should definitely wear because they go well with your skin tones and flatter your face, but to look slimmer, you need to concentrate on tailoring, cut and style instead of color. As hard as it may be to break with the popular notion of always buying black, it really isn’t always the best choice. It’s only one choice out of many colors of plus size jeans on the market.

As with everything else, each individual has specific items that are better suited to their frame. This aphorism also applies to denim pants and skirts. Look at yourself in the mirror, or even better, go to a tailor. Take note of where your mass rests, and what sort of plus sized jeans will compliment your frame. Think about what pieces you can reveal, and which should be covered.

Some always find it hard to find plus size jeans. But, it can be made easier with a little effort put into searching for the most flattering plus size jeans for your body. Be very careful in your search and never hesitate to try out new designers. It will pay off well at the end of the day.

Andrea writes about Plus Size Clothing. Visit us for plus size deals on Plus Size Maternity Clothes at http://plus-size.discountsonline.com