my happy blog

I saw a look of resignation on my friend’s face as she said, “I don’t think I’m cut out to be a step mother.” There was a combination of sadness, frustration and resignation. She’d been married to her new husband for almost two years. The struggles started before their marriage, as it usually does when two people, with children from previous marriages decide to “blend families.” After all this time she saw no end in sight.

My friend has two daughters from her previous marriage. Her new husband has two daughters from his previous marriage…and a former wife who appeared to be determined to make things difficult. My friend has a former husband who lives out of state with his new family.

The four girls were all close in age and could possibly have been friends if they met at school, weren’t step siblings and didn’t have parents pulling at them.

Often, we the parents just need to get out of the way. Blended family issues can be resolved sooner and without causing added pain to the children if we allow space and time to work things out. I know from my own first hand meddling. I’ve detailed in my book, “You Used To Live In My House.”

My kids…back when they were kids, when my wife Louisa and I were newlyweds, didn’t need a new mom. Their mother was alive and well. Louisa didn’t want to be their mom. She knew her role and would have been happy to be a step mother. We all moved from Virginia to Colorado together so I thought she should be their new mom. All this while my kids really hadn’t given up hope that their mother and I might some how reconcile. We’d been apart for four years by then and each of the adults knew that wasn’t going to happen.

While I was living in Colorado my kids return to Virginia and to their mother,

I didn’t know what she was saying to them, about me. I didn’t learn that until three years later when they moved to Colorado. By then new roles weren’t so new and were accepted pretty easily. All the while, I knew that Louisa never criticized her sons’ father, even though he’d been virtually absent from their lives for several years.

Eleven years later Louisa received a Happy Step Mom Day card from Kelly on Mother’s Day. All of the ‘kids’ openly express their love for each of us these days, and have for some time. They all get along well with each other.

I can speak for myself and I believe it applies to many step parents, we are so determined that everyone will get a long and like each other immediately, that we make things more difficult than they need to be. Affection and assimilation cannot be forced upon our children. They have to find their own way and all we have to do is get out of the way.

Kids are resilient. I’ll over simplify it with an example of how they overcome the tales of an Easter Bunny and Santa Claus at very impressionable ages. If and when they see the new step parents showing affection and compromise it will be easier for them to move forward with their own feelings.

A friend of ours, Donna Lopez, provided the following testimonial to my book:

“After reading the book, “You Used To Live In My House” I began to think differently of blended families. I realized that it took much more love and faith and work that I ever imagined to sustain one household. I began to appreciate all those families around me that I once took for granted. This book allows us to see this family with such truth and pain and laughter! A recommended read!”

Obviously that’s flattering and I appreciate Donna’s comments. Her comments remain timely.

Don’t look now, but there are increasing numbers of blended families on the horizon. As more couples split and often after a child or two, the newly freed up mom or dad hooks up with that new ‘soul mate.’ Bingo, there’s a new family and the new spouse may even have children of their own from a previous relationship.

How do I know? I’m reminded of a question I was asked when I spoke to a Rotary Club not long ago. “What prepared you to write your book?” My answer: “I lived it.”

Back in the day, circa 1981, I met Louisa H. Harrison. She’s been Louisa H. Coons since June 18, 1983 and on that day, my three children and her two children, blended into this new family. Oh, by the way…on the fateful day, they were ages 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.

We’re all the better for it now. And if you read through what I call ‘Tales of the dark side’ (AKA “You Used To Live In My House”) you’ll eventually get to the happiness we enjoy today. Being in a blended family doesn’t have to make any or all of the participants crazy. I’ve only scratched the surface of how I, and sometimes we, went about it the wrong way. If you get to know us we should give you hope.

R. Perry Coons
http://www.youusedtoliveinmyhouse.com

R. Perry Coons has thrown the door wide open with his narrative of the first 25 years of his relationship journey with his wife and family. He says, “If you get to know us, we should give you hope.”

His background is varied, as witnessed by the many personal and professional experiences he shares with his readers…husband, father, grandfather, runner and former radio dj, award winning shopping center marketing director, special events coordinator, entertainment manager, Realtor and self-described coffee achiever. He holds a copyright on a manuscript titled “Surrel Estate” and is working on a novel about a radio dj in the late 60′s. His working title is “Record Player.” Perry lives in Denver, Colorado with his wife Lousia and their Australian Cattle Dog.

Not everyone can just enter into marriage. You need to meet certain marriage requirements for you to be eligible to marry. Every state will have its own requirements but, there is no much difference when it comes to the most important things. First, there are legal requirements which are deemed as most important. If you do not meet the requirements put in place, you cannot get married. Some of those marriage requirements include the following. You must be of a certain legal age which is usually 18 to get married. This is for the purpose of a consent which can only be given by an adult. In many states, if the couple is not yet 18 and is almost that age, they can get married; with the consent of their parents. The other thing that is vital in many states is the fact that you must not be closely related to the person you are going to marry. For example, people cannot marry their mother, sister, brother, step mother and so on. These legal requirements are tailored to ensure that the standards of marriage are upheld. In many countries, going against this requirement is punishable by law. Another thing that is crucial is a good mental ability for both partners during the time of marriage.

The parties must understand what they are doing and know the consequences of all their actions. There are cases where couples are not sure of what they are doing and end up regretting afterwards. Another vital requirement is that couples must be sober during the time of marriage. This is to make sure that their judgment is not impaired in any way. Many people are not keen on this and, this is because many couples take their marriage day very seriously. Another requirement that will be found in many states and countries include, not being married to someone else. If you were married before, you need to have a certificate of divorce first. Many people have been caught getting married while they have not finalized their previous marriages. Some states require that couples about to get married go through blood tests. Again, this is only a requirement in a few states. In most places, your health issues are personal and private.

You will need to have a marriage license to make your marriage legal. In all states apart from California and Massachusetts, people of the same sex cannot get married. There are so many other requirements you need to know about. The best thing is to look for marriage requirements in your area and then follow them. Other requirements that might not be considered legal requirements are the readiness for marriage. You must be a person who is prepared to enter into wedlock and commit. This is probably one of the greatest requirements that every person should have. If you are getting married abroad, make a point of knowing what will be needed of you. The best way to enter into marital bliss is to meet the necessary criterion that has been set.

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Love comes in the most unexpected time. When I was young, I would always tell my family that I will get married at the age of 25. By that time, I am through with my studies and probably working already. I promise to help my family after I finish school. I dream a lot of dreams actually. I planned my life. I intend to finish my studies at a short time. I go to school even during summer to shorten the time of my studies. I fared well in school. I was always a pride and joy of my parents. But I failed miserably. I got pregnant when I was 19 and graduating already in college. You could just imagine the dismay in my parents’ face. I failed them terribly. All my dreams were shattered just because I hurried in life.

Is there a right time to get married? Certainly YES. Actually, it is not apt to say that one has to be 25 and above to get married. It is a must that one has to be prepared financially and psychologically before plunging into marriage. Marriage can wait. Keep your values as much as possible. It is so easy to get married but very tough to stay married. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. It is a point of no return especially here in the Philippines. Divorce is not legal here and annulment costs so much. If you have no means and you want to get out of marriage, you can’t easily get out. You’re doomed. So for those who are in a hurry, you better think twice. Life is so complicated as it is. Nothing compares to a life with no responsibilities and carefree. Stay happy. As the song goes…wise men say only fools rush in…Don’t be one.

You might be surprised to learn that just about every human being has 100,000 strands of hair on their heads. However, because of differences in texture, some people appear to have less hair, and some people appear to have a whole lot more.

What is texture?
Texture is the circumference of each individual strand of hair. If you have fine hair then your hair has a small circumference and you appear to have less hair on your head. Conversely, if you have coarse hair then your hair has a larger circumference and this bulk makes you appear to have a lot more hair than someone with finer hair texture.

Ultimately, the texture of your hair is simply a matter of genetics; if your parents have coarse hair, you will also, if they have finer hair, you will too. However, thankfully the hair care industry has developed ways you can enhance and modify your hair’s natural texture to achieve the popular styling choices you desire.

Fine Textured Hair

Fine textured hair is generally straight and can appear limp because of residues from hair care products. It can easily be processed by perming and coloring. However, it is important to not over-process fine hair because it can be easily damaged.

There are many things you can do to enhance the texture of fine hair. Some of them are:

Use a Clarifying Shampoo – To reduce residues and oils you should use a clarifying shampoo on fine hair. This will strip off the residue left by shampoos, conditioners, and styling products. Kenra manufactures a shampoo called: Kenra Clarifying Shampoo. Kenra’s Clarifying Shampoo is ideal for removing mineral deposits and chemical build-up from hair styling products. However, while this shampoo cleanses your hair, it also adds shine and body.

Use Mousse While Wet – After you shampoo with a clarifying shampoo, adding mousse to your hair (when it is wet) can give it added texture. Start at the roots and massage the mousse into your hair and then let it air dry, or dry it with a hairdryer on low heat. Not everyone wants to use the same hold factor in a mousse. There is a very wide variety of mousses to choose from, however I have three different options to look at. First is the Alterna Life Volumizing Spray Mousse. This is an aerosol mousse that has a light to medium hold. The Alterna Life Mousse was manufactured with fine and thin hair in mind. The exclusive LIFE blend of extracts provides weightless thickening agents that define, maintain, and preserve volume all day long. This product also contains anti humectants that effectively repel humidity, leaving your hair with a smooth texture and a radiant shine.

If you need more of a hold, I would go with a medium hold mousse. An example of this is the Biosilk Silk Mousse. This is an alcohol free mousse that is rich, creamy, and infused with concentrated silk and botanical extracts which add volume and shine.

If you require a strong holding mousse, I would recommend the Brocato Volumizing Foam. This product is a strong holding mousse that creates visual texture and stunning shine. This mousse allows your hair style to be firm, yet still moveable. This is an exceptional volumizing foam with a powerful hold that is great for all hair types!

Color Your Fine Hair – Another good way to add texture to fine hair is to color it. Coloring your hair adds texture to it by enlarging the hair shaft.

Coarse Textured Hair

Coarse, textured hair is generally thicker and harder to process. Coarse hair resists perming, straightening, and coloring.

There are a few things you can do to work with the texture of coarse hair. Some of them are:

Add Moisture – Coarse hair needs added moisture to control frizz and curl. By using a good conditioner you can insure you course hair will lay flatter and be shinier. Some manufacturers offer leave in treatments, rinse-out treatments, or hydrating conditioners that will help to incorporate moisture back into your hair. Bonacure makes a rinse-out treatment entitled Bonacure Moisture Treatment. This is a great product for naturally dry, or naturally coarse hair. This product reconstructs the moisture in your hair shaft from the inside out, which balances the moisture in your hair.

Joico makes a leave-in detangler that you can use on a daily basis which is called Joico Daily Leave-in Detangler. This is a conditioning agent that helps to condition, detangle, and make hair easier to manage. This product will also help you restore the moisture balance in your hair.

People rave about Pureology products and what they do for their hair, and that is why I would recommend the Pureology Hydrating Conditioner. The hydrating conditioner works from the inside out to keep your hair color fresh and your hair detangled ,all with renewed body and amazing shine! Hair is left conditioned, color protected, and shiny!

Air Dry – One of the most important things you can do for coarse hair is to let it air dry. Wash it, condition it, and then let it dry on its own. By not handling your hair too much while it is drying, it will not frizz.

Whether you have fine hair, coarse hair, or something in between, you can work with it by learning about texture and which products to use and which to avoid. By using products that are beneficial for your hair texture, you can better amplify the hair that you were given.

Stuff4Beauty Your Hair Products Specialists!

All About Pregnancy Announcements Cards – Spread the Great News and Job!

Pregnancy announcements are a great way to reach all of the friends and relatives of a mother-to-be. They will appreciate hearing directly from the parents-to-be, rather than hearing word of mouth about a pregnancy. If possible, pregnancy cards should be sent before any baby shower invitations are sent. As a general rule, expecting parents should try to send personalized pregnancy announcements around the 10th or 12th weeks of pregnancy. After all, the exciting news is bound to spread like wildfire, and the proud parents-to-be should try to tell as many people as possible directly!

The styles and trends in custom cards are similar to birth announcements. Modern designs, cute images of baby items or a pregnant mom silhouette are all popular. Stork announcements are also a charming option. If the cards are sent after the parents know the gender of the baby, printable pregnancy announcements can be geared for a boy or girl as appropriate. If parents know the nursery room theme or colors, the announcement can give the recipients a sneak peak of the nursery. This kind of personalization is great for the mother-to-be that has many out of town friends and relatives. The more the recipient feels they know about the new baby, the more special they feel.

By sending pregnancy announcement cards, parents are also saving themselves some time when they get to the announcement of the baby. The name and address list for the mailings should be virtually the same as the list for the printed birth announcements. Organization is key after the baby is born so already having a list of recipients from the announcements can be sleep saving! Parents will also get out all of the kinks with the cards – they will know how many announcement cards they need to send, are guaranteed not to miss anyone important (they will find out who they missed quite quickly if they miss them with the announcement!) and they will have a system down to stuff envelopes and address announcements quickly.

The joy of pregnancy should be shared with all of the family and friends. Pregnancy cards can be a way to show gratitude, keep in touch with distant loved ones and tell them a little bit about the family that is expecting the baby. The announcements usually indicate the expected birth date, but if parents choose to only announce the month, season or major holiday around the expected date, that is also a nice option. If it is not the first child, cards can also be worded with the siblings-to-be announcing the expected baby. Often times the older siblings are very excited about their new baby sibling and feel extra special if their names are on the announcement cards.

Whatever style pregnancy card is used, the important thing to remember is the joy and excitement of the new baby. Sharing that joy by an announcement spreads the joy around! Some websites have lots of unique pregnancy announcements wording verses, wording ideas and sayings to get your cards just the way you want.

About the Author: Sarah Porter is Author of several articles including About Pregnancy Announcements, Unique Pregnancy Announcements, Affordable Pregnancy Announcements Cards and more.

The second stage during a child’s development (those ages one to three, normally called toddlers) is one of the most important stages in a child’s life. This is when they learn how to talk and how to walk and when they start to understand the implications of things around them. This includes the toddler clothes they are wearing. They can now easily detect if the toddler clothes they are wearing makes you happy or unpleased. Toddlers also begin to have preference towards clothing, preference that may be channeled by what they feel and how people react. A toddler’s growth is also rapid-so this is when you may have to buy clothes more frequently. Also, at this age, children are more active and curious of their surroundings, so they tend to explore and, in the process, hurt themselves due to insufficient protection.

Because of this, they need a particular set of toddler clothes in order to fit their physical and physiological needs.

You have to first consider that rate at which toddlers grow. You have to buy toddler clothes that accommodate this growth. Therefore, you will have to buy adjustable and flexible toddler clothes such as two-piece outfits, garments without waistlines or with elastic waistlines, and basically clothes with fabrics that stretch. Shirts and blouses should also have long tails to accommodate their growth. Many parents buy clothes one season earlier (for example, buying winter toddler clothes during summer or fall). However, these clothes bought months in advance may no longer fit, since the growth development of toddlers is extremely rapid. It is wise to buy the clothes during the season or, if you really want to save money, buy the clothes at least a size bigger to anticipate the growth of your child.

You should also avoid toddler clothes that are potential fire hazards. Toddler clothes such as those with loose-fitting styles or airy fabrics, or those with loose sleeves and ruffles may be prone to fire. While you can teach your toddler not to play fire and any materials that can create flame (such as matches and lighters), wearing toddler clothes such as fit clothes, clothes with narrow sleeves, and or those made of tightly woven fabrics reduce the chance of catching fire.

Lastly, you should choose items that are easily to clean. Not only does this make your job easier; easy-to-clean clothes have a longer shelf life than those that require intensive cleaning. Hence, you should buy clothes that are machine washable, are durable to abrasions, can stretch, and those made from fabrics that no longer require ironing. Meanwhile, clothes sewn with smaller stitches and those that are satin-stitch reinforced are durable, making them appropriate for toddlers.

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While a number clothing medical experts have said that infant shoes are necessary for babies, commonsense would say that this is not completely true. Babies need the protection of infant shoes on their feet, especially since they are still unable to discern the hazards around them. Infant shoes also have other purposes, such as providing warmth for their feet.

Unfortunately, it is difficult to find the right shoes for babies. The feet of a newly-born are different from regular feet, not just size but also in proportion. Unlike the regular developed feet, which are rectangular in proportion, infant feet are square-shaped. The width of an infant’s feet is as the as its length, making them wider than what the regular feet should look like. However, many shoe manufacturers do not consider this when developing this kind of infant clothing. Therefore, it is usually hard for parents to find infant shoes would fit perfectly on their children.

But while it could be difficult to find the right kind of infant shoes, it is extremely important since the littlest detail in a baby’s growth can alter or hinder their development. Children’s clothing and practically any kind of baby apparel can affect certain growth areas. In particular, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, giving a baby the wrong fit of shoes can make their first step harder. Parents, therefore, should not shop blindly-especially when it comes to children’s clothing, especially for infants.

Parents should first make sure that the infant shoes provide enough safe for the infant’s feet. These are for two reasons-the infant’s irregularly-shaped feet and the growth of the infant’s feet. This also provides comfort since tight-fitting shoes can cause cuts and sores, making them painful to wear. But do not buy shoes that are too large since they can cause the infant to marriage and trip.

The growth of the infant’s feet is rapid and fast, so parents should expect to a new pair of shoes every three to four months, until the body of the infant has developed.

Lace-up shoes are also a poor choice of infant shoes; this kind of infant clothing should be reserved when the infants are old enough to tie their own shoes. The lace of these shoes can also cause the infant to trip and fall, so they are very risky. Instead, parents can but soft-sole Velcro infant shoes, which are suitable for infants from those who are just starting to crawl to those who are beginning to walk. Soft-sole shoes are ideal because they flexible and light, making it easier for the infant to learn how to walk.

The most important consideration when buying infant shoes is the comfort and protection it can give. Later on, when the infant has grown, parents will have a wider range of choices. But until then, parents should prioritize shoes that provide comfort and protection.

Looking for the best clothes for your children without burning your pockets? Then, visit http://www.childclothingoutlet.com/ This site will offer you an in-depth and complete information about your baby’s and toddler’s clothing needs.