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Having a husband in prison is a stigma in our society. However it is possible to cope and get through this difficult time in your life. Let me help you along the way and give you a few tips.

I myself am a “Prison Wife.” My husband has been in the prison system for the past 22 months. He was first in a minimum security unit, a place called “THE FARM, ” with open doors, and no barbed wire. Now, he is in a half-way house, hoping to come back home the summer of 2005.

The “Prison Wife” is the forgotten one, as she waits at home for her husband. Our society takes care of the sick, the dyimg, the homeless, but the prisoner’s wife is alone and forgotten.

She is faced with insurmountable problems….financial,emotional, psychological, social, stigmatization, health problems to face alone, children to take care of. She keeps the household “together,” until her husband comes home. She works, pays the bills, pays the mortgage or rent, the car payments, insurances. She takes care of the children, repairs for the house, and just about everything else under the sun. Holidays and birthdays come and go. She is alone and lonely, most often faced with depression.
Most find it difficult to even face another day. She lives in hiding because she is afraid the neighbors may find out. So she lies and says he is on a “business” trip, to protect herself…after all, the neighbors would be shocked to know a criminal’s wife lives next door to them. And, what does she tell the children? No one wants to let their child play with a criminal’s child.

When her husband leaves for prison, the wife goes through a period of “grieving.” She goes through the same “grieving process” that a widow goes through. The only difference is that the widow can eventually move on, while the prison wife cannot. The Prison Wife is a “wife,” without a husband. She cannot go out and socialize, and it is difficult to make new friends, as she feels she is being “unfaithful” to her husband.

After a certain amount of time (months or even years), it is acceptable in our socity for the widow to step out, and start dating and even re-marry. The Prison Wife who is faithful and dedicated to her husband does not have this option….some women wait years for their man to return…10 , even 20 or more years.

There are close to 2 million prisoners in our country….that makes me wonder just how many wives and loved ones are left behind and forgotten. We think about the prisoner, but never, ever, think about those left behind…..the wives, the children, the mothers, the girlfriends, to name a few. Those loved ones, who did not commit a crime, except the crime of “loving a criminal.” They did not commit a crime, and yet they are punished.

When their husband goes to prison, they are not notified by the prison system where their husbamnd is. I believe there should be some notification system in this country. The wife must sit and wait, until her husband is able to place a collect call to her.

There should be support systems in this country for prison wives. There should be follow-up programs for families of the incarcerated, to see how they are coping.

I will now give you some tips on how to get through this period of your life. It is from my own personal experience, and I hope it can help you………..after all, just remember, you are not alone……….there are so many of us out there experiencing the same feelings and emotions…the same problems.

“Ways To Cope”

1. Take one day at a time……..Do not think too far in advance. Try to get “through one more day.”

2. Plan small projects for each day, and try to reach a goal. For instance, I put all our photos in photo albums, during the first few weeks of my husband’s incarceration. When that project was complete, I started cleaning out drawers and closets.

3. Organize tour life…………I re-organized bills and mail, using folders and envelopes, and I kept logs, writing everything down.

4. Keep pictures of your husband around the house….I had pictures in every room. I even had one posted on the refridgerator door.

5. Join a church group. I started baking cakes for the monthly cake sale. I enjoyed doing it, and felt I was contributing something to society.

6. Get involved…acquire hobbies. Knitting, needle-point, gardening, writing, keeping a diary….anything. just do something, even if you force yourself to do it. As time goes on, it will get easier, and you will begin to enjoy it. I planted an “Angel Garden,” outside in the yard, with angel statues, and flowers. I also began writing poetry, stories and letters to the editor. I also began writing a journal, which became a very important part of my life.

7. Keep in close contact with your husband….Accept phone calls (if you can afford it, as prison phone calls are extrememly expensive), send your husband letters, cards,magazine and newspaper clippings, and computer print-outs of thingd that interest him. Send him pictures (old and new)…Men in prison love to look at pictures from home. It helps them from becoming homesick. My husband has almost 100 pictures that he keeps in photo albums, and loves to share with the inmates, and show them our family and home. If I change something around in the household,or buy anything new, iI take a picture and send it to him, so he always feels connected to our home. I also tkae pictures of the pets, the garden, and the cars.

8. Keep a notebook near the phone at all times. Jot down things you want to discuss with your husband when he calls. Remember, those are 15 minute calls, and there is a lot to say in a short period of time, so get organized beforehand.

9. Cry when you have to, but also try to stay focused. Do not be torn apart by the prison system. You are still a person, and a wife…and you need to be supportive to your husband.

10. Try to stay healthy. Eat right, avoid junk food and alcohol. Exercise. Try walking. After all, you want to be physically fit when your husband comes home!

I hope this article will be of some help to the wives and loved ones of prisoners, as they await their loved one while he is in prison.

My name is Frances Russo,RN,BSN,MA. I am a retired Registered Nurse,who is now legally- blind , and does free-lance writing, as a hobby. I enjoy writing short stories for magazines and poetry. During my life, I enjoyed education, and international travel, having travelled to 28 countries. I’ve lived in Manhattan, California, Las Vegas, and New Jersey. My husband is currently within the prison system, and I enjoy writing a journal, which has become quite popular. It is called “Reflections Of A Prison Wife.” Please visit my web-site! http://journals.aol.com/crystalmoon222/reflectionsofaprisonwife/

Over 5800 have read my journal, leaving comments and identifying with it. They find strength in my journal. I have recently been interviewed by 2 newspapers, and my story will soon be published , along with photos (ASBURY PARK PRESS AND THE PRESS OF ATLANTIC CITY). My journal is the basis of a book I am writing.

Is your long distance relationship thriving…or just surviving? Are you madly in love with someone but cannot find a way to live in the same city? How do you support your relationship when you have very real physical distance between you?

I have seen couples fall apart because they could not sustain their relationship due to the distance between them, and I have seen others who find creative, romantic ways to keep the love alive. I know people who had a long distance relationship for years, complained about it, and finally got together in the same city, only to break up months after they lived near each other. Some people have long distance relationships and like it that way. And some couples don’t like the distance at all, but manage to still stay close.

How do they do that? Here are some of the challenges that exist when you have an out-of-town romance, and what you can do about it:

* Commitment

If you have just met, take care to spend enough time to truly know each other before you get in a committed relationship. There is no substitute for face-to-face communication. You need to meet each other’s friends, family, and co-workers. You need to experience good times and stressful ones together. Once you do, decide what your expectations are for your relationship. Be open and honest. How much commitment are you willing to give each other? This clarity is important to minimize misunderstanding.

* Trust

Once you can determine if you are both on the same level of investment in the relationship, trust and honesty become paramount to the success of your future. These elements are at the heart of all lasting unions, but distance challenges the security of your connection.

* Communication

Be dedicated to the way you stay in touch. Phone calls, emails, and chatting on-line are important. Set up a regular time to visit with each other, building a routine. But add some surprises such as, homemade videos, collected poems put in a special book, or self-decorated greeting cards. Stretch your imagination further with a lock of your hair in a unique box; an absorbent piece of cloth with your perfume or after-shave scent; your favorite flower, pressed and framed. If the other person does not call often, make time for you, or send appropriate communications, do not hang on. Let go and get on with your life.

* Plan your reunions.

Decide where to meet, how often, and how you want to spend the time when you see each other. Be very clear about what your expectations are for the time you have together. This is where many relationships break down. His idea of the perfect weekend could be sitting in front of the TV with her at his side, watching football. Hers could be visiting friends, attending a romantic movie, and later sharing secrets of the heart. He may expect her to cook his dinner; she may expect him to take her out. We all have old scripts that play out in new relationships, and unless we communicate what we want from each other, this is a recipe for misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Finally, decide how long you want to live apart, and set a date for the move. It is true that when one of you moves to the other one’s town, you are taking a risk. However, most people say that even when it doesn’t work out, at least they gave love a chance. They didn’t want to spend their life longing to be somewhere else, continuing–a long distance relationship.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

If you suspect infidelity and you want to find out the truth you need to know how to avoid breaking the law in the process. Here are some key tips to legally find the truth.

Before we provide some tips, we advocate trying to save your relationship if you find your mate has been cheating. This should involve some form of professional counseling or meeting with your church minister to talk things out. Above all, do not attempt to punish the cheating mate by taking matters into your own hands. This will only result in serious ramifications for everyone involved. Do not allow your emotions to overrule your common sense.

You also need to check laws in your State (USA) or country to make sure you are not in violation. An unmasked mate could cause you a great deal of legal trouble so proceed with due diligence. If you spy on your mate with one of the many electronic surveillance devices, you risk breaking the law. You want to avoid using devices such as so-called room “bugs,” and video or telephone recording devices. Many devices actually violate federal law and can only be used by licensed professionals or by court order. You need to employ other methods to get at the truth.

Now that you know some of the legal and personal ramifications, here are some tips to help you catch a cheating mate.

If your mate uses a computer, you can install Internet tracking software on the computer that will allow you to know where your mate surfs and what they are typing when they are online. This can help you keep track of them and quietly satisfy your curiosity about whether they are actually cheating. Internet tracking software is not expensive and beats the higher cost of hiring a private investigator. This is the best way to know what your mate is doing when he or she is online.

To build an airtight case against the cheater, you need to have abundant proof. Where you find one sign of infidelity, there are usually several other corroborating signs just waiting to be found. Cheaters nearly always display multiple telltale signs. Knowing what to look for is the key.

For example, duplicate gifts are especially suspicious. You should question when two identical gifts, or receipts indicating that two identical items were bought, show up on billing statements. This is a common trick. The cheater will be ready to explain why two pairs of diamond earrings, or two identical gold bracelets show up on a credit card statement. For example, they may claim it is a billing error. However, it is common to find that an affair partner is the recipient of the second gift.

If you suspect workplace infidelity, offer to attend all company parties with your mate. If your mate gives an excuse as to why you cannot attend, this is a warning sign. If you are permitted to go, observe how your mate interacts socially with co-workers. This can reveal the presence or absence of a workplace affair. If the suspected cheater is romantically involved with someone on their job, their body language and behavior around the affair partner will give them away.

A cheating mate will usually communicate with his or her affair partner in some way on Christmas Day. It may be a phone call, an e-mail, a text message, or even a quick visit to drop off a Christmas gift. If you have previously found signs of infidelity, the telltale signs found during the Christmas season could provide the final proof that you are dealing with a cheating mate who is indeed having an affair.

Remember, you might be wrong so gather a significant amount of evidence before confronting your mate! If you accuse them of infidelity without any proof, and they are innocent, you can do serious damage to the relationship. The trust will be broken, both ways and broken trust is almost impossible to restore.

Find out if you have a cheating mate. Jim DeSantis is an award winning broadcast journalist who provides a Free ebook Catch A Cheating Mate – here! No email or signup required. It’s an instant free PDF!

Although Texas ranks the highest among U.S. states in the number of uninsured residents, obtaining affordable Texas medical insurance is easier and more affordable than you think. Here are answers to five common questions about getting health insurance in Texas.

1. I’m young and healthy. Why should I spend money for medical insurance that I’ll never use?

Having insurance is like carrying an umbrella. You may not need it most of the time, but when there’s a torrential downpour you’ll be glad you have it. Even young and healthy people have accidents, seasonal illnesses, and sometimes tragic health issues. If you wind up having a serious medical condition, it can become very difficult to obtain Texas medical insurance, or your preexisting condition may be excluded from your coverage. In addition, you can get much lower premiums when you’re young and healthy, so health insurance provides excellent protection at very little cost.

2. Is there a benefit to using a health insurance agency, as opposed to getting quotes for policies on my own or going through a single agent?

A health insurance agency provides a number of benefits. First, they have established relationships with many, many insurance companies. This means that they have access to all of the best Texas medical insurance plans in the marketplace, while not having a bias toward any single insurer. This is in contrast to some individual agents, who work on behalf of one or two companies, and who will try and push you to sign up with their company. While you can research various plans on your own, a health insurance agency will do the legwork for you and present you will all available options, at no charge to you.

3. What’s the most important feature to consider when buying health insurance?

There are two important features that people often overlook: the lifetime maximum coverage and the maximum out-of-pocket expense. Although your more immediate concerns might be co-payments for doctors’ visits and prescription coverage, if you or a family member experiences a catastrophic illness, your overall coverage and out-of-pocket costs are much more crucial. Look for a policy that offers lifetime maximum coverage of $3 million or more, and a yearly out-of-pocket maximum in the $2,000 to $3,000 range.

4. Can I trust online comparisons for Texas health insurance?

Yes. The law requires that identical plans have identical pricing, regardless of whether you go directly through the insurer or use a health insurance agency. In other words, if you’re looking at the XYZ company’s Plan A, you will receive the same quote whether you get it online, place a phone call, or visit an insurance agency or company. Keep in mind though, that the price you pay may depend upon a number of variables, including your age, your gender, whether or not you smoke, and any pre-existing medical conditions that you may have. The final price is in large part determined by your medical history.

5. What’s the difference between an HMO and a PPO?

When it comes to Texas medical insurance, a health maintenance organization (HMO) requires that, for non-emergency services, you use their physicians and hospitals. A preferred provider organization (PPO) allows you to visit any health care provider, but gives you more benefits if you use health care professionals and services within their network.

Chris Robertson is an author of Majon International, one of the worlds MOST popular internet marketing companies on the web. Learn more about Health Insurance Questions or Majon’s Health and Beauty directory.