Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
Monday, November 24th, 2008
Is your long distance relationship thriving…or just surviving? Are you madly in love with someone but cannot find a way to live in the same city? How do you support your relationship when you have very real physical distance between you?
I have seen couples fall apart because they could not sustain their relationship due to the distance between them, and I have seen others who find creative, romantic ways to keep the love alive. I know people who had a long distance relationship for years, complained about it, and finally got together in the same city, only to break up months after they lived near each other. Some people have long distance relationships and like it that way. And some couples don’t like the distance at all, but manage to still stay close.
How do they do that? Here are some of the challenges that exist when you have an out-of-town romance, and what you can do about it:
* Commitment
If you have just met, take care to spend enough time to truly know each other before you get in a committed relationship. There is no substitute for face-to-face communication. You need to meet each other’s friends, family, and co-workers. You need to experience good times and stressful ones together. Once you do, decide what your expectations are for your relationship. Be open and honest. How much commitment are you willing to give each other? This clarity is important to minimize misunderstanding.
* Trust
Once you can determine if you are both on the same level of investment in the relationship, trust and honesty become paramount to the success of your future. These elements are at the heart of all lasting unions, but distance challenges the security of your connection.
* Communication
Be dedicated to the way you stay in touch. Phone calls, emails, and chatting on-line are important. Set up a regular time to visit with each other, building a routine. But add some surprises such as, homemade videos, collected poems put in a special book, or self-decorated greeting cards. Stretch your imagination further with a lock of your hair in a unique box; an absorbent piece of cloth with your perfume or after-shave scent; your favorite flower, pressed and framed. If the other person does not call often, make time for you, or send appropriate communications, do not hang on. Let go and get on with your life.
* Plan your reunions.
Decide where to meet, how often, and how you want to spend the time when you see each other. Be very clear about what your expectations are for the time you have together. This is where many relationships break down. His idea of the perfect weekend could be sitting in front of the TV with her at his side, watching football. Hers could be visiting friends, attending a romantic movie, and later sharing secrets of the heart. He may expect her to cook his dinner; she may expect him to take her out. We all have old scripts that play out in new relationships, and unless we communicate what we want from each other, this is a recipe for misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Finally, decide how long you want to live apart, and set a date for the move. It is true that when one of you moves to the other one’s town, you are taking a risk. However, most people say that even when it doesn’t work out, at least they gave love a chance. They didn’t want to spend their life longing to be somewhere else, continuing–a long distance relationship.
Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
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Sunday, November 16th, 2008
A marriage relationship is probably on of the most important relationships in life. This is because through it, you can establish so much including new generations of society. A lot of emphasis has been put on the importance of marriage but, more and more couple are choosing to end their marital bliss. There are so many divorce cases worldwide. In the western world, more than half of marriages will end in separation or divorce. With these alarming statistics, it is vital to ensure that you realize the problem and get the right weapon to fight. Marriage is worth fighting for and, it will require commitment from both partners. One of the biggest problems that a marriage relationship can have is post-honey moon slump. Marriage is made of phases and, you are most happy during your honeymoon period and a short time after that. A period where you get to know the real character of your spouse is when the ordinary becomes a reality. Many couples start to regress.
People who used to talk to each other may begin to stay silent; their sexual life might not be exciting anymore and many other things. To avoid this slump in a marriage relationship, the following advice will suit you just right. The first thing is to avoid prolonged periods of anger. Christians will tell you that the bible says that you can get angry but avoid sin. In other words, it is human to get angry but, your reaction during your anger matters a lot. If you choose to give your partner the silent treatment, it can go on forever especially if your partner is also angry. Anger kills the mood and it can certainly destroy a marriage. Try compromise and even forgiveness. The truth is, most couples will do things that are not acceptable to their partners and, this shows that they are not perfect. If you are both willing to make your marriage work, you can easily do this by being patient, forgiving and understanding of each other.
The other thing that will help you avoid the slump in your marriage relationship is having the will never to withhold sex from your partner. If you want your man to be distant from you, try withholding sex. This does not only apply to men but also to women. Many couples punish each other this way but, in the end, they end up making things even worse. This does not mean that you need to overlook what your partner did wrong. If he or she is apologetic, give them a chance and be mature about it. Your bond will only grow as you make your every day experience worthwhile. Another tip that helps couples a lot is keeping away from activities that may draw you further from your spouse. The more people spend time apart both physically and emotionally, the more they are prone to focusing on other things that may not be of help to the relationship. Therefore, when you have free weekends, do not spend all your time watching football or at a church group, show your partner you care enough to sacrifice time to be companions of each other. Marriage has the potential to be a great haven for joy and happiness.
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Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
If you are a woman, you may have experienced a decrease in your libido and you are looking to find ways to increase it. A decrease in libido can adversely affect your relationship with your husband or partner. However, in order to improve your libido it is important to determine what the cause was for the decrease.
For some women, libido decreases when they are feeling stressed, are depressed, experience anxiety or were victims of rape or other sexual abuse. These are all psychological problems and the way to increase libido if you suffer from any of these issues is to seek psychological counseling. Some women will only need short term counseling while others may need long term counseling in order to achieve the desired results.
Women’s libidos can be affected by the physical ailments such as alcoholism and drug abuse, anemia and diabetes. If you are suffering from any of these diseases, it is best to see your doctor. Your physician knows you and can help you battle any of these illnesses, all of which can decrease your libido.
Women who are unhappy in their relationships with their partners are often not as interested in sex as they once were. Sometimes communication is the answer. If you can talk to your partner about how you feel or about the issues that are troubling you then your libido will increase.
If you see a doctor regarding your decreased libido, he will probably check your hormone levels. Hormones affect female libido and if a woman’s hormones are out of kilt, she will show effects of a decreased libido. If you are not interested in taking hormones, then you can look into increasing your libido by taking some herbs. There are plenty of natural remedies on the market that are specifically designed to increase female libido.
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Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
Break ups are an unfortunate part of life for every woman. We’ve all had our hearts broken at times by a man we were head over heels crazy for. In most instances we take the break up in stride. We may mourn the loss for a few days, share our sorrows with our girlfriends and then we move on. It’s not always that easy though. Some relationships are too important to get over that quickly. In fact, you may feel that your ex boyfriend was actually your one true love. If you do happen to feel that way, you’ve likely thought about winning him back. The easy answer to the question of how do you get a guy back is be emotionally strong.
Men expect women to fall apart in stressful emotional situations. After a split they assume that the woman, if she’s still in love, will beg for another chance. You may have actually been tempted to do just that. It’s an easy trap to fall into. Your emotions take control and before you know it you’re calling your ex and crying on the phone to him. This is not going to help you in anyway achieve the goal of reuniting with your ex. Behavior like this can actually cause him to run as far away from you as he possibly can. You really want to put on a brave face. This will really help you get a guy back because he’ll see that you’re mature and can keep yourself together.
Another thing that will really help you get a guy back is to agree with him when he says you need time apart. Don’t help him pack his suitcase and don’t hold the door open for him, but agree that a split may be good for you both. Again, men jump to the conclusion that if a woman loves them, she’ll fight tooth and nail to keep them. Men want to feel that, it gives them some reassurance about how you feel. If you do the exact opposite and welcome the break he’s going to go into a tailspin. Many relationships have actually been fixed just because the man who first mentioned the idea of a break up got worried when his girlfriend agreed to it. Act as if you’re okay with the break up and he’ll start to think about what he can be doing to win you back.
It’s obviously important that you think through each and every move when you are trying to get your boyfriend back. Most women have no idea that everything they say and do after a break up potentially impacts the chance of a reunion. To find out more about what steps are necessary to get your boyfriend back, including what not to do, visit this helpful site!
There are proven and effective ways to win back your ex boyfriend. Don’t let your emotions guide you through this difficult time. Find out what you need to be doing to ensure you get him back forever.
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Monday, September 1st, 2008
Corsets have been around for a very long time – centuries, in fact, or perhaps even longer. The very first indication of corset usage was discovered at a Neolithic archaeological site in England. The find was a picture of women wearing a corset type piece of clothing made from animal hides. So they’ve definitely been around for quite a while!
Corsets popped up again in the history books at around 1700 BC. The Minoans were quite fond of the style, and it was used on both men and women to tighten the waist. Their corset design left the breasts exposed. The use of corsets continued on throughout history, from Ancient Egypt to Greece.
Throughout the centuries improvements to the corset were made. In the 13th century, corsets were worked directly into gowns, as the era favored a smaller look. In the 14th century, a number of new fabrics began to grow in popularity (more details at http://www.SpicyRelationships.com/lingerie/ ). These fabrics were more free flowing than that which was used before, and corsets were used to provide a tight shape back to the top.
In the 16th century, they even used steel in the corsets. Many noble women were ordered to have a waist size that was not bigger than 13 inches – it was rather extreme, but the demands of fashion often are. This was also a time when the corset began to separate from the gown as well. The look for skirts leaned towards a full, heavy fall, while the top needed to be tight and form fitting. Because of how elaborate the corsets and undergarments became during this time, gowns were often designed to strategically flash the corsets or otherwise reveal them.
The 18th century as a huge time for corset improvement. The main cause of this? A doctor inventing the metal eyelet. This meant that corsets could end up even tighter (much to the chagrin of the ladies, I’m sure). While they remained popular in the 19th century, it wasn’t until the 20th century that Madonna popularized corsets once again.
And today? Today corsets are used for lingerie, outerwear, fetish wear, and just about anything you can imagine! They are definitely a staple in fashion, and just keep getting better and better. The best thing about it? With modern corsets, you can actually breath!
Eden Tuin is editor of SpicyRelationships.com. Whether you need something different in bed, or need to make sure you keep your lover happy while you are abroad, you’ll find it all at http://www.SpicyRelationships.com“>SpicyRelationships.com
For more lingerie articles: http://www.SpicyRelationships.com/lingerie/
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