For many years skincare has been the sole preserve of the ladies. After all, men don’t need it, do they?

As I came downstairs to breakfast the other day, my wife stroked my cheek lovingly.

‘Your skin is so soft!’ she said almost wonderingly. ‘I really don’t know how you manage it!’

Now my wife is a dear, dear woman but she thinks that a soft skin is only achievable by using amounts of night cream, day cream, anti-wrinkle cream (not that she has any anyway!), protein cream and just about any other cream that the cosmetic companies can dream up.

She, like many other ladies, is convinced that many men have made a pact with the Prince of Darkness in return for facial skin that is not only soft but free from spots and blemishes. I will probably be marked for use as a bridge support filler or receive a nice pair of concrete overshoes from the League For Excessively Scratchy Chins for revealing the truth but I can contain myself no longer: men really do use skincare products!

There. I’ve said it. What a relief to finally ‘come out’ (about men’s skin, that is). The thing that is different about men’s facial skincare and that used by women is that men don’t pay anywhere near as much for theirs – and that’s because men do something to their faces every day that women never, ever do. They shave.

Now I know women shave their legs and sometimes other unmentionable bits. All we men know that. But they don’t do it every day. So why does that make a difference?

Oh, well, the cat’s out of the bag now so I may as well tell you everything. The act of shaving, when done daily, is an excellent exfoliant. A razor doesn’t only take away the stubble from the chins and cheeks of the average male, it also removes quite a few of the old dermal cells. This tends to leave our homely pans soft and smooth – especially if you use (as an increasing number of today’s guys do) a straight razor.

That’s the reason why – when we’re freshly planed off – the facial skin of your everyday male is as soft as a woman’s that has had enough cream on it to make a raspberry pavlova. The only problem is that it doesn’t last. Hence the tendency in recent years for an increasing number of guys to reach for the bottle.

The skincare-for-men bottle, that is. I’m not convinced that I am the first to have uttered this truth as to the original method of skincare for men – shaving – and doubtless the cosmetic companies’ intelligence task force has been keeping their ear well and truly stuck to the floor over the years. So what do we have now? You got it in one – cream for men.

Oh, they don’t call it ‘cream’. Far too girly. It’s called ‘rejuvenating facial cream’ or something equally crafty – it simply wouldn’t do to call it ‘day cream’ or ‘cool night cream’, would it? It’s done like this. After we men have carefully eradicated all traces of stubble, in proper manly fashion with some horribly sharp steel, we are smiled at from some webpage by an incredible hunk with biceps like footballs and a six-pack made of very large ballbearings who suggests that it would be a good idea to – moisturise our skin!

And do you know what the worst thing about it is? Yep. It works. Guess what I got for Christmas last year? Worse still, guess what I bought recently? Resistance, as has been said, was futile.

The male skincare culture steamroller is gathering momentum. We poor males, hapless victims of our own primitive but effective skincare method, have been sucked into mainstream skincare by forces we can hardly comprehend. What happened to the good old days when the only perfume men wore was good, honest sweat and we all changed our socks once a week even if they were reasonably pong-free? When boxer shorts were things boxers wore and after-shave lotion was considered only fit for wearing on a hot date?

Don’t know about you but I sure thank my lucky stars they’re firmly in the past! Now where’s my anti-aging wrinkle-destroying masculine protein emollient?

Steve Dempster is a recent and happy convert to modern men’s skincare and doesn’t mind anymore who knows it. Learn more here about shaving and skincare products for men.

I saw a look of resignation on my friend’s face as she said, “I don’t think I’m cut out to be a step mother.” There was a combination of sadness, frustration and resignation. She’d been married to her new husband for almost two years. The struggles started before their marriage, as it usually does when two people, with children from previous marriages decide to “blend families.” After all this time she saw no end in sight.

My friend has two daughters from her previous marriage. Her new husband has two daughters from his previous marriage…and a former wife who appeared to be determined to make things difficult. My friend has a former husband who lives out of state with his new family.

The four girls were all close in age and could possibly have been friends if they met at school, weren’t step siblings and didn’t have parents pulling at them.

Often, we the parents just need to get out of the way. Blended family issues can be resolved sooner and without causing added pain to the children if we allow space and time to work things out. I know from my own first hand meddling. I’ve detailed in my book, “You Used To Live In My House.”

My kids…back when they were kids, when my wife Louisa and I were newlyweds, didn’t need a new mom. Their mother was alive and well. Louisa didn’t want to be their mom. She knew her role and would have been happy to be a step mother. We all moved from Virginia to Colorado together so I thought she should be their new mom. All this while my kids really hadn’t given up hope that their mother and I might some how reconcile. We’d been apart for four years by then and each of the adults knew that wasn’t going to happen.

While I was living in Colorado my kids return to Virginia and to their mother,

I didn’t know what she was saying to them, about me. I didn’t learn that until three years later when they moved to Colorado. By then new roles weren’t so new and were accepted pretty easily. All the while, I knew that Louisa never criticized her sons’ father, even though he’d been virtually absent from their lives for several years.

Eleven years later Louisa received a Happy Step Mom Day card from Kelly on Mother’s Day. All of the ‘kids’ openly express their love for each of us these days, and have for some time. They all get along well with each other.

I can speak for myself and I believe it applies to many step parents, we are so determined that everyone will get a long and like each other immediately, that we make things more difficult than they need to be. Affection and assimilation cannot be forced upon our children. They have to find their own way and all we have to do is get out of the way.

Kids are resilient. I’ll over simplify it with an example of how they overcome the tales of an Easter Bunny and Santa Claus at very impressionable ages. If and when they see the new step parents showing affection and compromise it will be easier for them to move forward with their own feelings.

A friend of ours, Donna Lopez, provided the following testimonial to my book:

“After reading the book, “You Used To Live In My House” I began to think differently of blended families. I realized that it took much more love and faith and work that I ever imagined to sustain one household. I began to appreciate all those families around me that I once took for granted. This book allows us to see this family with such truth and pain and laughter! A recommended read!”

Obviously that’s flattering and I appreciate Donna’s comments. Her comments remain timely.

Don’t look now, but there are increasing numbers of blended families on the horizon. As more couples split and often after a child or two, the newly freed up mom or dad hooks up with that new ‘soul mate.’ Bingo, there’s a new family and the new spouse may even have children of their own from a previous relationship.

How do I know? I’m reminded of a question I was asked when I spoke to a Rotary Club not long ago. “What prepared you to write your book?” My answer: “I lived it.”

Back in the day, circa 1981, I met Louisa H. Harrison. She’s been Louisa H. Coons since June 18, 1983 and on that day, my three children and her two children, blended into this new family. Oh, by the way…on the fateful day, they were ages 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.

We’re all the better for it now. And if you read through what I call ‘Tales of the dark side’ (AKA “You Used To Live In My House”) you’ll eventually get to the happiness we enjoy today. Being in a blended family doesn’t have to make any or all of the participants crazy. I’ve only scratched the surface of how I, and sometimes we, went about it the wrong way. If you get to know us we should give you hope.

R. Perry Coons
http://www.youusedtoliveinmyhouse.com

R. Perry Coons has thrown the door wide open with his narrative of the first 25 years of his relationship journey with his wife and family. He says, “If you get to know us, we should give you hope.”

His background is varied, as witnessed by the many personal and professional experiences he shares with his readers…husband, father, grandfather, runner and former radio dj, award winning shopping center marketing director, special events coordinator, entertainment manager, Realtor and self-described coffee achiever. He holds a copyright on a manuscript titled “Surrel Estate” and is working on a novel about a radio dj in the late 60′s. His working title is “Record Player.” Perry lives in Denver, Colorado with his wife Lousia and their Australian Cattle Dog.

Traditionally, brides were extremely limited in their sexy bridal sweater choices. Women were expected to legacy perfume demure and virginal on their wedding nights, and bridal lingerie choices reflected that innocence. Today, however, while supporting the wedding gown remains a key function, style choices have exploded. Provided here is a guide to new and daring sexy bridal lingerie.

Buy the Dress First

Keep in mind that your bridal lingerie should be matched to the wedding dress. Therefore, it is important to buy your gown first. When dress-shopping, it is easy to take along several styles of your regular lingerie. This will allow you to try on the gown over multiple alternatives, helping you to decide what works best under your particular dress.

When shopping for your sexy bridal lingerie, it would be impractical to take the wedding dress along. Instead, bring the pieces that you wore when you purchased the gown. Sometimes it is helpful to bring along photos of the gown, which can help you more accurately remember such details as neckline and waist cinching.

Buy Multiple Items

Even with photos, it can be difficult to know precisely how your wedding gown will look over a particular piece of sexy bridal lingerie. If you have any doubts, buy multiple styles of the same basic piece. Although it may be difficult or impossible to return lingerie, you are sure to find a use for the extras on your honeymoon.

Be Decadent

Today’s sexy bridal lingerie is daring and sensual. Remember that is the first lingerie your new husband will see after the wedding ceremony. Whether it is your first time together or you have been living together for years, daring lingerie is a great way to kick off the honeymoon. Look for barely-there thong panties, a see-through bustier or a plunging neckline on a sexy chemise.

Why Not Wear Black?

A white wedding dress need not mean demure white lingerie. Wedding gowns are heavy, impossible to see through. Therefore, give yourself and your groom a hidden secret with forbidden black sexy bridal lingerie. Share the secret with your man before the ceremony or let him be shocked later that night. The choice is yours.

Sexy, Supportive and Comfortable

In today’s lingerie market, it is possible to find bridal lingerie that is not only supportive enough to hold up the dress and sexy enough to make a splash on the wedding night, but also surprisingly comfortable. Look for pieces with soft, sensual linings. Boning and underwire should be carefully encased in soft padding to prevent chafing. Remember, no matter how good the lingerie looks, red welts and scratches are not sexy.

Don’t Forget the Honeymoon

While your sexy bridal lingerie is perhaps the most important, you will have an entire honeymoon full of opportunities to show off your body. Keep the wedding theme alive with a variety of bridal lingerie styles, or scrap them altogether for something a bit wild. Either way, your lingerie choices can help to ensure a honeymoon to remember.

Amanda Cotterill has been involved in the sexy bridal lingerie market for many years. This article outlines the benefits of choosing bridal lingerie as if that needed much explaining! Please include this credit if you use this article.