Posts Tagged ‘Stress’
Monday, November 24th, 2008
Is your long distance relationship thriving…or just surviving? Are you madly in love with someone but cannot find a way to live in the same city? How do you support your relationship when you have very real physical distance between you?
I have seen couples fall apart because they could not sustain their relationship due to the distance between them, and I have seen others who find creative, romantic ways to keep the love alive. I know people who had a long distance relationship for years, complained about it, and finally got together in the same city, only to break up months after they lived near each other. Some people have long distance relationships and like it that way. And some couples don’t like the distance at all, but manage to still stay close.
How do they do that? Here are some of the challenges that exist when you have an out-of-town romance, and what you can do about it:
* Commitment
If you have just met, take care to spend enough time to truly know each other before you get in a committed relationship. There is no substitute for face-to-face communication. You need to meet each other’s friends, family, and co-workers. You need to experience good times and stressful ones together. Once you do, decide what your expectations are for your relationship. Be open and honest. How much commitment are you willing to give each other? This clarity is important to minimize misunderstanding.
* Trust
Once you can determine if you are both on the same level of investment in the relationship, trust and honesty become paramount to the success of your future. These elements are at the heart of all lasting unions, but distance challenges the security of your connection.
* Communication
Be dedicated to the way you stay in touch. Phone calls, emails, and chatting on-line are important. Set up a regular time to visit with each other, building a routine. But add some surprises such as, homemade videos, collected poems put in a special book, or self-decorated greeting cards. Stretch your imagination further with a lock of your hair in a unique box; an absorbent piece of cloth with your perfume or after-shave scent; your favorite flower, pressed and framed. If the other person does not call often, make time for you, or send appropriate communications, do not hang on. Let go and get on with your life.
* Plan your reunions.
Decide where to meet, how often, and how you want to spend the time when you see each other. Be very clear about what your expectations are for the time you have together. This is where many relationships break down. His idea of the perfect weekend could be sitting in front of the TV with her at his side, watching football. Hers could be visiting friends, attending a romantic movie, and later sharing secrets of the heart. He may expect her to cook his dinner; she may expect him to take her out. We all have old scripts that play out in new relationships, and unless we communicate what we want from each other, this is a recipe for misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Finally, decide how long you want to live apart, and set a date for the move. It is true that when one of you moves to the other one’s town, you are taking a risk. However, most people say that even when it doesn’t work out, at least they gave love a chance. They didn’t want to spend their life longing to be somewhere else, continuing–a long distance relationship.
Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
Tags: bet, cards, challenges, cia, Coach, columnist, Coul, couples, creative, Dating, dea, ears, element, Elements, face, fall, feelings, Fri, friends, heart, heir, home, honesty, how to, imagination, Insight, investment, letter, lot, love, Mai, mail, man, meet, men, met, mmi, movie, old, People, perfume, phone call, phone calls, Rate, relationship, relationships, reunions, risk, single, singles, sit, Stress, Success, sun, surprise, taking a risk, Target, tips, work, Yea
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Thursday, November 20th, 2008
Marriage becomes a fragile bond at times. In this relationship of man and woman, woman is a more sensitive agent. She often faces extremely difficult situations when her husband leaves the house. Men may leave the house for many reasons. Sometimes he gets angry over some issue, sometimes as a consequence of some fight; husband wants to put an end to the marriage. In most occasions, the reason is misunderstanding. In any case, you should try to uphold your relationship and get your husband back.
Mostly, when your husband leaves the house, both the parties are very emotional. For this reason, you may not like to hold your husband back and allow him to leave in anger. You may also worsen the situation by telling him that you are happy without him and things of the sort.
You may not even like to contact your man if he leaves considering it as an ego issue or feel that by doing so, you may be degrading your dignity. However, to save your relationship, if you have to do things like this it is not about ego at this point. This is more about being mature and handling the situation in an intelligent way. Even if the fault is at his end, contacting him or even apologizing monetarily can help him to calm down. Once he is emotionally stable, you can talk and discuss the issue like grown ups.
You should show genuine concern about him. Yet at the same time, you should not act as a weakling. Men regard those women who are strong and confident. You need to remain strong and at he same time, let him know that you care for him as he is your husband. He is your strength and you are his.
Marriage is about mutual love and care. If any of the partners leave the house, the other person should try and make the situation normal. This relationship requires patience as well as understanding.
Most people lose their spouse in emotional fits. Man is more aggressive by nature and can easily lose temper. In this situation, woman should act more calmly and try to get him back. It will not be her defeat but her victory.
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Tags: consequence, contact, dignity, discover, Emoti, emotion, face, fit, heir, home, how to, love, magic, Mai, man, marriage, mature, men, met, monet, old, patience, People, Rate, reason, Regard, relationship, sit, strategy, Stress, Stress And Anxiety, sun, Target, those women, ups, woman, women
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Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
If you are a woman, you may have experienced a decrease in your libido and you are looking to find ways to increase it. A decrease in libido can adversely affect your relationship with your husband or partner. However, in order to improve your libido it is important to determine what the cause was for the decrease.
For some women, libido decreases when they are feeling stressed, are depressed, experience anxiety or were victims of rape or other sexual abuse. These are all psychological problems and the way to increase libido if you suffer from any of these issues is to seek psychological counseling. Some women will only need short term counseling while others may need long term counseling in order to achieve the desired results.
Women’s libidos can be affected by the physical ailments such as alcoholism and drug abuse, anemia and diabetes. If you are suffering from any of these diseases, it is best to see your doctor. Your physician knows you and can help you battle any of these illnesses, all of which can decrease your libido.
Women who are unhappy in their relationships with their partners are often not as interested in sex as they once were. Sometimes communication is the answer. If you can talk to your partner about how you feel or about the issues that are troubling you then your libido will increase.
If you see a doctor regarding your decreased libido, he will probably check your hormone levels. Hormones affect female libido and if a woman’s hormones are out of kilt, she will show effects of a decreased libido. If you are not interested in taking hormones, then you can look into increasing your libido by taking some herbs. There are plenty of natural remedies on the market that are specifically designed to increase female libido.
By Richard Hairston,
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Tags: bet, blog, blogs, cia, Desire, female, females, heck, heir, how to, inc, informat, Irs, logic, Logs, lost, male, man, market, men, men's, met, Proble, Regard, relationship, relationships, sit, Stress, Target, woman, women, women's
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Wednesday, November 12th, 2008
Break ups are an unfortunate part of life for every woman. We’ve all had our hearts broken at times by a man we were head over heels crazy for. In most instances we take the break up in stride. We may mourn the loss for a few days, share our sorrows with our girlfriends and then we move on. It’s not always that easy though. Some relationships are too important to get over that quickly. In fact, you may feel that your ex boyfriend was actually your one true love. If you do happen to feel that way, you’ve likely thought about winning him back. The easy answer to the question of how do you get a guy back is be emotionally strong.
Men expect women to fall apart in stressful emotional situations. After a split they assume that the woman, if she’s still in love, will beg for another chance. You may have actually been tempted to do just that. It’s an easy trap to fall into. Your emotions take control and before you know it you’re calling your ex and crying on the phone to him. This is not going to help you in anyway achieve the goal of reuniting with your ex. Behavior like this can actually cause him to run as far away from you as he possibly can. You really want to put on a brave face. This will really help you get a guy back because he’ll see that you’re mature and can keep yourself together.
Another thing that will really help you get a guy back is to agree with him when he says you need time apart. Don’t help him pack his suitcase and don’t hold the door open for him, but agree that a split may be good for you both. Again, men jump to the conclusion that if a woman loves them, she’ll fight tooth and nail to keep them. Men want to feel that, it gives them some reassurance about how you feel. If you do the exact opposite and welcome the break he’s going to go into a tailspin. Many relationships have actually been fixed just because the man who first mentioned the idea of a break up got worried when his girlfriend agreed to it. Act as if you’re okay with the break up and he’ll start to think about what he can be doing to win you back.
It’s obviously important that you think through each and every move when you are trying to get your boyfriend back. Most women have no idea that everything they say and do after a break up potentially impacts the chance of a reunion. To find out more about what steps are necessary to get your boyfriend back, including what not to do, visit this helpful site!
There are proven and effective ways to win back your ex boyfriend. Don’t let your emotions guide you through this difficult time. Find out what you need to be doing to ensure you get him back forever.
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Friday, October 17th, 2008
There is no question that animal electrocution, juvenile seal clubbing, and other forms of animal slaughter for the sake of fur garments represent some of the most depraved acts ever envisioned by the human mind. At the same time, many animal rights activists also feel that commercial farming for the sake of meat also includes a number of inhumane and hostile activities against animals. Therefore, you might be surprised to learn that there is Earth friendly women’s leather clothing available. Irregardless of whether you are looking for a jacket with large cargo pockets, or a leather skirt, you should be able to find a garment that has a limited impact on a wide range of natural resources.
In particular, it is crucial to realize that most leathers come from animals that were raised primarily for meat. As people become more aware of the fact that meat based protein starvation can cause everything from edema to depression, more will look for organically raised meat products. Therefore, you will find that there will be an increasing number of opportunities to purchase leather clothing that is environmentally acceptable.
If you cannot find leather jacket, pant, or accessory suppliers that work with environmentally responsible farmers, you may want to consider some other options. Among other things, you may want to look into obtaining deerskin. In particular, once the summer is past, many private hunters are given permits to take a certain number of deer. Therefore, if you are a hunter, or know of someone that is, you may be able to pick up a suitable animal hide for tanning purposes.
Chances are, if you visit your local department stores, you will find all kinds of imitation leather products. While these garments and accessories were not made from animal skins, they were most likely made from plastic, vinyl, and other petroleum based products. Without a question, these products may be a hazard to human health on top of wreaking all kinds of environmental mayhem.
Irregardless of how environmentally friendly a product may be, it still requires some destruction of natural elements, as well as be shipped from one location to another. Therefore, when looking for green products, it is important to consider durability. Without a question, leather will outlast almost every plant based or synthetic fabric on the market. As a result, even if you order Tianello leather fashions from a catalog, you may be well be doing something that is less damaging to the environment.
There is no question that everyone can do more to reduce personal impact on this planet. That said, each person still needs to be able to live and enjoy good health. While many animal rights advocates claim that women’s leather clothing causes harm to the environment, they may need to rethink some of their statistics. Among other things, when you evaluate the potential to help promote free range farming, as well as reduce other environmental stresses, leather clothes may be the best choice you can make.
For more information about the fashion benefits of Women’s Leather Clothing, visit http://www.womensleatherclothingonline.com
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Sunday, October 12th, 2008
If you’ve found this article, I have to assume that you either strongly suspect or know for sure that your spouse has had an affair. I know from experience that in all likelihood you’re experiencing a slew of overwhelming feelings (likely none of them positive) like betrayal, shock, severe hurt, and intense pain. You may also blame yourself, wonder how you could have been so naive, or blame your spouse entirely for his or her actions. Every single one of these questions and responses are perfectly natural and normal. You’ve been dealt a harsh blow and there is no right or wrong answer. The days following learning about an affair can go by in a daze or the blink of an eye and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or lost. This article will provide tips and prompts to help you deal with these feelings and sort out / deal with the affair.
Don’t Blame Yourself, Beat Yourself Up Or Second Guess Yourself: Until an affair actually happened to me, I used to wonder how in the world a wife could blame herself for a husband’s affair. I just did not get that at all. But then, in the days after my husband’s affair (once my shock and rage at him wore off) I started to wonder where in the world I went wrong. How could I be so stupid? Was I not exciting enough? Pretty enough? Sexy enough? A good enough wife and mother? Did I not meet his needs or give him what he needed to be happy? Did he have to go elsewhere for excitement or satisfaction?
I have a friend who kind of went through this same sort of thing but in the opposite realm. When she found out about her husband’s affair – she completed overcompensated. She wanted this thing fixed immediately so she sucked it up and put all of the blame squarely on her shoulders and made drastic changes to herself and her bedroom. The “crises mode” of the situation actually created a spark between her and her husband. Then, she hated herself because she felt that she was a “door mat” for just wanting her husband back. She asked herself where was her self respect? How could she allow him to do this? So she felt negatively about herself just as I did and her self esteem was hit as hard as mine was, but for different reasons.
Both of these reactions cause all sorts of internal bad feelings that doesn’t help you heal at all. Although these feelings are so perfectly normal and understandable it’s important to understand that no matter what you did or didn’t do – the affair is not your fault. It just is not. Your spouse is the one who made the decision to be unfaithful. Whether he / she is going through a mid life crises or he / she thinks their needs are not being met or he’s / she’s having self esteem issues, how they chose to deal with these problems was a decision that THEY made.
There are many spouses with issues who chose not to cheat but to instead communicate and work with their wives and husbands to work through these issues.
When You Are Ready, Evaluate And Understand Exactly Why The Infidelity Happened And Your Feelings On What You Want To Happen Now: I will always maintain that a spouse who cheats is the guilty party. However, each marriage has certain factors that can sometimes contribute to infidelity. This is not always the case. Sometimes it’s a simple self esteem issue or stress manifesting itself, but sometimes there can be issues in a marriage or communication style that contributes to infidelity.
Whether you want to save the marriage or not, it can be helpful to hear (when you are calm and ready) just exactly why the infidelity happened. However, you don’t have to take these reasons for face value. Really listen to what your spouse is saying and honestly evaluate if these issues they’re bringing up have any merit or are valid.
Sometimes, a spouse will just make excuses or refuse to take responsibility, but sometimes, you will actually get the truth as painful as it may be. In my own case, my husband was not feeling heard in a highly stressful situation. At first I thought this was all just a silly excuse, but when I evaluated more honestly and closely, I had to admit there was a few slivers of truth there.
What you chose to do with this information is completely up to you. If you don’t want to save the marriage, at least it is a learning experience that you may revisit later in a future relationship. If you do want to save the marriage, this information will be invaluable for you in the future so that you can address these things to make the marriage stronger and ensure the infidelity doesn’t reoccur.
Now, it’s important that you really take some honest time on your own when you can be calm and reflective (this may take time) to determine what you really want. It may be that your spouse has been a good one up until this point and you still love him or her and ultimately want to save the marriage. Or, it may be that a pattern of betrayal and dishonestly is emerging that is a deal breaker for you. Either answer is valid and OK.
Define what is your best case scenario that, if you could achieve it, would help you heal. For some, this is to just pick up and move on by yourself, without letting this one event ruin the rest of your life. For some, it’s to get the marriage back to a loving and trusting place. Whatever your “best case scenario” is, always promise yourself that you will keep this in mind from this point forward.
Because if ultimately you want to save your marriage, then it doesn’t make sense to continue to lash out at your spouse and continue to punish them months and months after they’ve said they’re sorry or allow an unhealthy obsession with everything having to do with the affair (or the other woman) to continue to sabotage your marriage and your happiness. If being happily married and at peace again is really your goal, try your best not to engage in behaviors that are going to keep this from happening (while still being true to yourself.)
Don’t Hesitate To Get Help To Deal With The Infidelity If You Need It: An affair can be heavy burden on the party who was cheated on. Your self esteem is likely going to take a huge hit. Although it may feel weird to do so, take this time to focus on yourself and your extreme self care. See friends. Pursue those things you love. Do what makes you happy. This will make you feel better and will show both you and your spouse that you have enough self respect that this isn’t going to beat you.
You may ultimately need some to help with your healing and with dealing with the infidelity. In my own experience, although I wanted to save my marriage and to forgive my husband, I was stuck. I would feel forgiving toward him one second and rage at him the next. He was patient with me and I was trying to be patient with him, but we couldn’t move forward.
It’s normal to have difficulty in the early days after learning about the affair, but if you get stuck and can’t move past it, don’t hesitate to get the help you need. There is no shame in it. Ultimately, I needed out side resources to get me out of this cycle that was just holding me back. Once I had this, I was able to slowly move forward and today, although it took some work and effort, I can honestly say it hasn’t beaten me in the least.
Dealing with the infidelity in my marriage was very difficult for a time. With a lot hard work and effort, our marriage and my self esteem recovered. I now know myself, my husband and my marriage much more intimately. I no longer worry that he is going to cheat again. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://saving-my-marriage-after-the-affair.blogspot.com/
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Sunday, September 16th, 2007
What’s best this summer? A popular style is the strapless dress. Strapless can flatter any body type, as long it is in the right fabric and the right fit. For example, if you are looking to support a fuller bust, or you feel that your figure needs to be slimmed down, stay away from clingy fabrics, like jersey dresses. Choose a fabric, like heavy cotton with built in boning to create a sexy, streamlined look.
If you fall into the dreaded half-size category, always choose a dress that is one size larger to avoid any hang over in the armpit area; if you fear that it will not fit correctly everywhere else, take it to a tailor and have it taken in only in the areas that need it. One of the hottest new looks for the strapless dress is to wear a paper-thin t-shirt, in a solid color, underneath it; if you choose to go with bare shoulders and are worried about being a little chilly in the evening, purchase a cropped jacket or a wrap knit in silk for a luxurious feel all night long.
Shift dresses are another hot look this season that compliment any figure. They are cool and comfortable no matter what you are doing, and the swing they give is flirty and fun. You can pair these dresses with wedges, flip flops or ballet flats and still have a great look; jelly shoes are back in again too and these are such a quick and fun slip-on. The beauty of the shift dress is that it takes you back to the less stressful, younger years in your life when you were busy chasing butterflies and running through sprinklers instead of chasing cabs and running through the subway.
Keeping with the newest Latin American inspired trends, Mexican blanket tube dresses are popping up on the runways, accented with bright floral patterns. Remember, bright patterns accent whatever area they cover, so, if you are self-conscious about a specific area of your body, choose a solid and wear the floral on the area you feel is the most sexy. These tube dresses will turn you into a sexy senorita within minutes of slipping them on. Similar to the strapless dress, they show off bare shoulders, but typically have a less structured look; these dresses make it easy to dance the night away with a special partner. Complete this look with a pair of wedge espadrilles and a chunky beaded necklace in turquoise.
All this talk about dresses! What about the proper underpinnings for these amazing summer pieces? Every girl that has ever worn a strapless dress knows that the one downfall, no matter how well it fits, is that you find yourself tugging at it to keep it in place. So, follow a few, simple rules, and you’ll be able to wear your summer dress all day and night without another thought. To avoid a “shelf” look, choose a strapless bra that water under wire or lightly molded cups. No matter how big or small ladies, you need to lift and separate! The exception to this rule is if you are wearing a dress that is made of a heavier fabric, such as cotton or linen. Choose a bustier instead of a strapless bra simply because, the heavier the fabric, the more it will weigh your beauty down; a strapless bra will not provide the all day and night support that you will need and it will make your breasts appear saggy. Let’s face it, no one enjoys that look!
One last note about the strapless bra; when shopping for one, it is recommended that you purchase a bra that is one size smaller in the band than you typically wear. This variation will provide additional support and lift when you need it the most; remember you’re going for function over sex kitten, when it comes to pulling off the summer dress look!
Elli Rose is a fashion industry insider who writes about the latest trends in clothing, makeup and accessories. Love to be noticed? Find gorgeous fashions and helpful advice at Amore Fashion.
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