For many years skincare has been the sole preserve of the ladies. After all, men don’t need it, do they?

As I came downstairs to breakfast the other day, my wife stroked my cheek lovingly.

‘Your skin is so soft!’ she said almost wonderingly. ‘I really don’t know how you manage it!’

Now my wife is a dear, dear woman but she thinks that a soft skin is only achievable by using amounts of night cream, day cream, anti-wrinkle cream (not that she has any anyway!), protein cream and just about any other cream that the cosmetic companies can dream up.

She, like many other ladies, is convinced that many men have made a pact with the Prince of Darkness in return for facial skin that is not only soft but free from spots and blemishes. I will probably be marked for use as a bridge support filler or receive a nice pair of concrete overshoes from the League For Excessively Scratchy Chins for revealing the truth but I can contain myself no longer: men really do use skincare products!

There. I’ve said it. What a relief to finally ‘come out’ (about men’s skin, that is). The thing that is different about men’s facial skincare and that used by women is that men don’t pay anywhere near as much for theirs – and that’s because men do something to their faces every day that women never, ever do. They shave.

Now I know women shave their legs and sometimes other unmentionable bits. All we men know that. But they don’t do it every day. So why does that make a difference?

Oh, well, the cat’s out of the bag now so I may as well tell you everything. The act of shaving, when done daily, is an excellent exfoliant. A razor doesn’t only take away the stubble from the chins and cheeks of the average male, it also removes quite a few of the old dermal cells. This tends to leave our homely pans soft and smooth – especially if you use (as an increasing number of today’s guys do) a straight razor.

That’s the reason why – when we’re freshly planed off – the facial skin of your everyday male is as soft as a woman’s that has had enough cream on it to make a raspberry pavlova. The only problem is that it doesn’t last. Hence the tendency in recent years for an increasing number of guys to reach for the bottle.

The skincare-for-men bottle, that is. I’m not convinced that I am the first to have uttered this truth as to the original method of skincare for men – shaving – and doubtless the cosmetic companies’ intelligence task force has been keeping their ear well and truly stuck to the floor over the years. So what do we have now? You got it in one – cream for men.

Oh, they don’t call it ‘cream’. Far too girly. It’s called ‘rejuvenating facial cream’ or something equally crafty – it simply wouldn’t do to call it ‘day cream’ or ‘cool night cream’, would it? It’s done like this. After we men have carefully eradicated all traces of stubble, in proper manly fashion with some horribly sharp steel, we are smiled at from some webpage by an incredible hunk with biceps like footballs and a six-pack made of very large ballbearings who suggests that it would be a good idea to – moisturise our skin!

And do you know what the worst thing about it is? Yep. It works. Guess what I got for Christmas last year? Worse still, guess what I bought recently? Resistance, as has been said, was futile.

The male skincare culture steamroller is gathering momentum. We poor males, hapless victims of our own primitive but effective skincare method, have been sucked into mainstream skincare by forces we can hardly comprehend. What happened to the good old days when the only perfume men wore was good, honest sweat and we all changed our socks once a week even if they were reasonably pong-free? When boxer shorts were things boxers wore and after-shave lotion was considered only fit for wearing on a hot date?

Don’t know about you but I sure thank my lucky stars they’re firmly in the past! Now where’s my anti-aging wrinkle-destroying masculine protein emollient?

Steve Dempster is a recent and happy convert to modern men’s skincare and doesn’t mind anymore who knows it. Learn more here about shaving and skincare products for men.

Ever had the experience of walking into a room and felt faint from the smell? Just imagine, you will be in a suit or a gown, which is warmer than most of your outfits. There may be some dancing which will make people sweat. Add to it the smell of hundreds of colognes or perfumes and it can be overwhelming experience.

This rule applies to everyone present at your event, not just the wedding party: tone down the perfume. The target is to smell fresh and clean, not to overwhelm the guests with your smell. It is best if they can only detect your cologne if they are about ten inches away from you.

Clue: If people can smell you from across the room, you’ve put on too much cologne. If they can smell you coming long before they see you, yes, you’ve put on too much. If the empty elevator smells like you, you definitely reek!

Keep in mind:

- It pays to find a perfume that truly suits your body chemistry.

- Put the cologne or perfume on your pulse points using just a dab or two. No need to spray the way they do in commercials – we all know those are exaggerations.

- It’s best to put it on your skin not on your clothes. Some scents will stain your gown and that’s something to avoid. Worse, when your cologne evaporates it will leave only the smell of the alcohol.

- Choose a scent that blends well with your soap – it will be more appealing to your new spouse and guests; in fact, check if your favorite manufacturer created a complete line of grooming products. It’s a sure bet that their soap, cologne and any lotion or aftershave will match each other and blend to make you smell beautiful not overpowering.

Lesley-Ann Graham runs WeddingTrix.com – a valuable wedding planning resource with articles, tips and advice to help you plan your perfect wedding. Visit Lesley-Ann’s wedding blog for more free wedding planning help and advice.

What should you do if your wife wants out of your marriage? When a woman first seriously considers divorce she doesn’t arrive at this state of desperation by a process of calm deduction. She is simply reacting to the feeling that she “can’t take it anymore.” Sometimes your wife’s decision to leave you may be her way of trying to make you change, but more often it is a desperate effort to survive. She cannot endure anymore heartache, so she has reached out for the separation (or divorce) like a drowning man reaching out for a life jacket. How did this come about? Often it is due to the husband’s negligence in hurting their wives.

How Husbands Injure Their Wives

How may you as a husband inadvertently hurt your wife? Obviously it is when you do not love her as you should. This is shown in the following ways:

1. Not appreciating or acknowledging her.

2. Comparing her with other women

3. Taking her for granted (“Oh, never mind…she will understand” or “…I’m sure she won’t mind”)

4. Having to be right all the time

5. Making her feel vulnerable, alone or isolated, for example by not helping out at home or not standing up for her.

6. Destroying her self-esteem through harsh or rude words and actions that demean her.

7. Not paying enough attention to her, for example by giving more time and focus on someone or something else other than her.

8. Having intimate friendships with a member(s) of the opposite sex (it may or may not involve having an affair).

9. Being too demanding on her, for example by insisting that she be almost totally subservient to your every wish

10. Not taking the trouble to understand her.

Your wife’s main source of security or comfort is you, her husband. When you do any of the above things (or other similar ones), her sense of security and self-worth are severely threatened. The problem is most wives feel that they have communicated their hurt to their husbands but most husbands have not realized it. She felt like she was trying to get you to understand but you thought she was just being emotional or overreacting. My experience is that most women leave their husbands because they expected to feel loved, protected and cherished but their husbands unwittingly have sent the message that they are not. If this happens repeatedly over a long period of time, your wife will very likely walk out on you. In such a situation, how can we bring about reconciliation?

The Path to Reconciliation

Firstly, do not make excuses for your actions or words that have hurt her. It’s pointless to try to make her understand you. Simply acknowledge them and ask for her forgiveness. I know that it takes two to tango, meaning that she also probably contributed in some way to how you acted. But now is not the time to blame her. You have to ignore her faults for now. Be a man and take responsibility for your own mistakes, own up to it and humble yourself by sincerely apologizing. This will go a long way in softening her hardened heart.

Secondly, listen to her without correcting her. She doesn’t have to be proved right or shown to be wrong. Do not try to talk her out of her feelings or belittle her emotions and behavior. This will only make her more hurt and angry.

Thirdly, understand her hurt condition. Do so by empathizing with her. She just wants you to understand her feelings. Relay her feelings back to her. Comfort her and let her know you understand how she feels.

Fourthly, assure her of your commitment to her. Change whatever is wrong with your attitudes, actions or words. As her husband you have the responsibility to restore her sense of self-esteem, security, confidence and trust in you.

Lastly, put into action your commitments to her. What you have said you will do, make sure you actually do it.

Conclusion

I have always maintained that it is the husband who should primarily be responsible for ensuring a successful marriage relationship. Therefore if anything is wrong with your marriage, you as the husband must be pro-active in setting things right. Only by doing so will you be able to save your marriage.

Discover the steps anyone can take to save your marriage in TWO FREE reports, “Practical Tips on Improving Your Marriage” and “Above Life’s Turmoil”. Visit http://www.savemarriagestoday.com These reports contain time-tested and proven ways to enhance your relationship with your partner.